Week 567: A Running Gag
For this week's contest, explain how any of these typically bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign. First-prize winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational Trophy. First runner-up wins an "Impala Skin Bushpen" donated to The Style Invitational ages ago by Robin Diallo of Lilongwe, Malawi. It seems to be a regular ballpoint pen encased and capped with, well, impala skin. Pretty cool.
Other runners-up win the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week.
Send your entries via fax to 202-334-4312 or by e-mail to losers@washpost.com. Deadline is Monday, July 26. Put the week number in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Aug. 15. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's contest is by Stephen Dudzik of Olney.
Report from Week 563, in which we asked you to tell us how any two items on a 14-item list we supplied were different or alike.
Of the 91 possible combinations of these items, the Empress received several entries comparing "Hung" and "horse." As in several plus a gazillion.
Fourth Runner-Up:
The difference between the ranch in Crawford, Tex., and aromatherapy:
Saying "Let's put a W back in aromatherapy" makes no sense at all.
(Helen Ward, Washington)
Third Runner-Up:
The difference between the next Redskins season and the next Harry Potter movie:
I'll only have to watch the Redskins 16 times. (Scott Campisi, Wake Village, Tex.)
Second Runner-Up:
The difference between John Kerry's smile and $2.39:
The latter is closer to a million dollars. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)
First Runner-Up, the winner of the educational children's book "The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts":
The difference between the next Redskins season and Ivory Soap:
With the soap, at the end the owner will end up with a ring.
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
And the winner of the Inker: The difference between William Hung and the Eunuch of Abdera: Wait . . . it's coming to me . . . hold on . . . don't tell me . . . I've almost got it . . . (G.W.B., D.C.) (Mark Young, Washington)
Honorable Mentions:
The difference between John Kerry's smile and a pile of odd socks:
The socks might generate some electricity.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
Kerry's smile and the Eunuch of Abdera:
No one accuses the eunuch of faking it. (Jerry Pannullo, Kensington)
Kerry's smile and the Stanley Cup playoffs: There are no Caps in the Stanley Cup playoffs. (Chuck Smith)
Kerry's smile has a total of more than seven teeth. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)
One involves getting a puck into the crease in the ice; the other requires getting a pucker into the crease in the ice. (Peter Jenkins, Washington)
Kerry's smile and mackerel ice cream:
One is augmented by Botox, while the other augments the buttocks.
(Jon Reiser, Hilton, N.Y.)
Kerry's smile and the next Redskins season: They'll both fade in November.
(Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)
Kerry's smile and the horse who beat Smarty Jones: Kerry's smile is more likely to cause the bartender to ask, "Why the long face?" (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, Pa.; Jean Sorensen; Tom Witte)
William Hung of "American Idol" and the horse who beat Smarty Jones:
The horse spent only 21/2 minutes making people sick to their stomachs. (Marc Channick, Los Angeles)
There's no way that William Hung will get put on either side of a stamp.
(Eric Murphy, Chicago)
The next Redskins season and the Stanley Cup playoffs: You can't lose 12 games in the Stanley Cup playoffs. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
The Eunuch of Abdera and the next Redskins season:
We don't know how one of these jokes will end.
(Danny Bravman, Potomac)
The next Redskins season and mackerel ice cream:
The ice cream will ruin your sundaes. . . . (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)
The next Redskins season and the next Harry Potter movie:
Both will feature a bespectacled, self-important squirt named Daniel carrying on like he owns the joint. (Brendan Beary)
The next Redskins season and the ranch in Crawford:
You'll find them both below Dallas, and not getting any closer. (Brendan Beary)
Ivory Soap and the Eunuch of Abdera:
The eunuch never had Marilyn
Chambers attached to his front.
(G. Smith, Reston)
They're both safe to lather up with in the shower.
(Cecil J. Clark, Arlington; Chris Doyle)
The Eunuch of Abdera and the horse who beat Smarty Jones:
Jockeys fit well on the horse.
(Peter Metrinko, Plymouth, Minn.)
A pile of odd socks and $2.39:
They're equivalent in modulo 2.
(Evan Golub, College Park)
Mackerel ice cream and $2.39:
Both will give you about a gallon of gas. (G. Smith, Reston)
The ranch in Crawford and $2.39:
You'll see bright, qualified presidents on the $2.39. (Annette Florence, Atlanta)
The next Redskins season and $2.39: Only one of them would be good for nine full quarters and would generate a bit of interest. (Russell Beland; Jon Reiser)