Week 556: So Zoo Us


Warthog x rhino = whino, an animal you don't want to mess with at the watering hole

Bat x lynx = blynx, a creature with erratic eyesight

Cheetah x leopard = cheepard, a cat that travels in packs of 12

This week's contest is based on a clever list of fancifully combined dog breeds that's been bounding all over the Internet, unfortunately without attribution: e.g., Pekingese x Lhasa Apso = Pekaso, a dog with both eyes on the left side of its head. You get to combine any two kinds of animals, give its name and describe it. As with a number of recent contests, this is an easy one to do, which means that to get ink, it no doubt will have to have a very funny, original, creative name and description. Better than the critters above.

First-prize winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational Trophy. First runner-up wins the appropriately zoological Oh Deer! Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper, a little plastic dispenser containing brown jelly beans.

Other runners-up win the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week.

Send your entries via fax to 202-334-4312 or by e-mail to losers@washpost.com. Snail-mail entries are not accepted. Deadline is Monday, May 10. Put the week number in the subject line of your e-mail, or you risk being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published May 30. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's contest is by Tom Witte of Montgomery Village.

Report from Week 552, our annual contest asking you to name the offspring of any two of the horses on a list of Triple Crown nominees.

This year the Empress decided to pare the list to 100 instead of running all 400-plus possibilities, and she still ended up with far too many clever entries to print here. (The list grew to 101 after some alert Losers pointed out that we'd printed "Read the Foot" for a horse actually named Read the Footnotes. The error was fixed on the Web site, and we allowed entries for both names.)

One thing that proved true again was that, clever as the individual entries are, there's something gained when they're presented as variations on a theme -- half brothers, if you will -- as in the sets at the bottom of the page.

{diam}Fifth runner-up: Imperialism x Coded Warning = imPERIaLism

(Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

{diam}Fourth runner-up: Gran Prospect x Jose = Comin' Up Ferrer

(Tom and Lisa Codella, Ashburn)

{diam}Third runner-up: Action This Day x Grand Score = Orgy and Bess

(Stephen Dudzik, Olney)

{diam}Second runner-up: Halfbridled x Imperialism = Broken Reigns

(Mary Curran, Hagerstown)

{diam}First runner-up, the winner of the 1,000-piece Elvis jigsaw puzzle:

Sinister G x Perfect Moon = Left Behind (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

{diam}And the winner of the Inker: Rock Hard Ten x Read the Footnotes = {+1}Centimeters (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax)

{diam}Honorable Mentions:

Birdstone x Greek Sun = Chickarus

(Meg Sullivan)

Blushing Indian x Sinister G = Geronimolester

(Ed "Smitty" Smith, Bladensburg)

Blushing Indian x Monocular = Siouxclops

(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Boomzeboom x End of an ERA = Steroid Homers (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.; Russell Beland, Springfield)

Friends Lake x Shiloh Bound = Damp Yankees (Meg Sullivan)

Frisky Spider x Fire Slam = Charlotte's Webber (Harold Mantle, Gaithersburg)

Gamblin x Mach Speed = Rushin Roulette (Chris Doyle)

Gran Prospect x Go Now = Bran Prospect (Pam Sweeney, Germantown)

Greek Sun x Perfect Moon = George Michael (E.J. Lloyd, Milford, Del.)

Hippocrates x Undisclosed = Doctor Who (Ron Bottomly, Columbia)

Hippocrates x Smoocher = Oath of Orifice (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Immense x Smarty Jones = Immensa (Mike Hammer, Arlington)

Imperialism x Value Plus = Uncle Sam's Club

(Aili Contini-Morava, Somerville, Mass.)

Imperialism x Rock Hard Ten = Manifest Density (Russell Beland)

Kaufy Mate x Go Now = Instant Kaufy (Dave Komornik, Danville, Va.)

Keeping Quiet x Decibel = Shhboom

(Judith Cottrill, New York)

Lion Heart x Undisclosed = What's My Lion (Paul Styrene, Olney)

Little Matth Man x Grand Score = Matth 800 Vurble 0 (Mike Hammer)

Little Matth Man x Song of the Sword = Stephen Hacking

(Maja Keech, New Carrollton)

Lucky Pulpit x Grand Score = Holier Than a Thou (Allan B. Moore, Washington)

Monocular x Tricky Taboo = One Eyed Jacko (Greg McGrew, Leesburg)

New Science x Strong Cat = Double Felix (John O'Byrne, Dublin)

Our Emm x Gamblin = Ante Emm

(Tom Witte)

Perfect Moon x Shiloh Bound = Thong of the South (Dan Steinberg, Falls Church)

Perfect Moon x Alpha to Omega = End to End (Mike Connaghan, Alexandria)

Philanthropist x Rush Into Heaven = Dead Giveaway (Mary Baltz Curran, Hagerstown; Mike Hammer)

Philanthropist x Tapit = Armand Hammerer (Russell Beland)

Philanthropist x Relaxed Gesture = Yawn D Rockefeller (Chris Doyle)

Polish Rifle x Coded Warning = H*ld Th*s *nd (Milo Sauer, Fairfax)

Polish Rifle x Send It In = It IS In

(Eryk Nice, Ithaca, N.Y.)

Read the Foot x Smoocher = Hoof and Mouth (Jean Tatalias, Vienna)

Read the Footnotes x Gamblin = I Bid (John Conti, Norfolk, Mass.)

Read the Footnotes x Alpha to Omega = Polar Op Cits (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Rock Hard Ten x Humorously = Funnybone (Ron Bottomly)

Rock Hard Ten x Relaxed Gesture = Viagra Falls (Dave Abraham, Radford, Va.)

Skipaslew x Sinister G = Killer Gilligan (Linda Thompson, Lanham)

Smoocher x Kaufy Mate = Kiss and Make Cup (Mike Hammer)

Smoocher x Perfect Moon = Sycophant (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Tricky Taboo x Keeping Quiet = Bound and Gagged (Jon Reiser, Hilton, N.Y.)

Tricky Taboo x New Science = Nonotechnology

(Mark Hagenau, Derry, N.H.)

Under Caution x Sunday Times = Yellow Journalism (Jon Reiser)

Undisclosed x Mr. Mabee = Hidden a Gender (Chris Doyle)

Undisclosed x Keeping Quiet = (John Barkmeyer, Silver Spring)

Value Plus x Smoocher = Good Buy Kiss (Dan Flynn, Germantown)

Shane, Shane, Shane

Call Me Shane x Bride's Best Boy = Alan Lad (Ron Bottomly)

x Little Matth Man = Alan'll Add (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

x Immense = Strapping Ladd (Jeffrey Scharf, Burke)

x Perfect Moon = Cheeky Ladd (Judith Cottrill)

x Coded Warning = Laddmonition (Tom Witte)

x Kilgowan = Alan Plaid (Harold Mantle)

x Bride's Best Boy = Ladd's Lad (Joseph Romm, Washington)

x Go Now = Shane, Leave, Shane (Russell Beland)

The Purge Parade

Purge x Hippocrates = First Doo, No Harm (Chris Doyle)

x Alpha to Omega = LambdaTheSlaughter (Brendan Beary)

x Decibel = Puke It Sound (Russell Beland)

x Gamblin = Royal Flush (Laura Peterson, Washington)

x Preachinatthebar = Holy Crap (Ellen Godfrey, Kensington; Paul Kocak)

x Blushing Indian = TP (Steven D. Price, New York; Paul Kocak)

x Blushing Indian = Sitting Bulemia (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.; Tom Witte)

x Pvt. Lynch = Lower GI Series (Chris Doyle)