Week 216: What Kind of Foal Am I?


Breed Spanish Fighter with War Broth and name the foal Franco-American.

Breed In Excessive Bull with Richter Scale and name the foal Rush Falls Down.

Breed Tommy Capote with Truman C and name the foal Read My Lisp.

Breed Emailit with Yeti and name the foal Bigfootaol.com.

This Week's Contest is our third annual equine paradox. At the bottom of the page are the names of the 400-plus horses who have qualified for this year's Triple Crown races. Pair up any two and name their foal. Stick by the rules: a maximum of 18 characters, including spaces, per name. You may ignore the horses' genders, if you happen to know them. First-prize winner gets Trump: The Game, a vintage copy of the 1980s board game (Motto -- "It's Not Whether You Win or Lose, but Whether You Win") based upon the spectacularly acquisitive career of Donald Trump before he crashed and burned and was otherwise exposed as a bumbling loser.

Runners-up, as always, receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser's T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to The Style Invitational, Week 216, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to 202-334-4312 or submit them via Internet to this address: losersaccess.digex.net. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before Monday, May 12. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. The Faerie of the Fine Print & the Ear No One Reads wishes to thank David Genser of Vienna for today's Ear No One Reads. Employees of the Washington Post, and members of their immediate families, are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 213, in which we asked you to differentiate acts that are illegal from those that are merely unethical.

One example we gave was that it was unethical to fund-raise from the White House, but that it would be illegal to do it while pretending to be the pope. We wanted you to limit your answers to acts of political and/or fund-raising high jinks, but were apparently insufficiently precise on the subject. Therefore, we accepted a broader range of entries. Any readers who followed the rules and feel cheated are urged to lodge their protest by going back in time and becoming contestants on "Queen for a Day," disclosing their pain, and possibly winning an Amana frost-free refrigerator.

Third Runner-Up --

Unethical: Using the influence of your government position to find a job for Web Hubbell.
Illegal: Creating the position of "Minister of Embezzlement" for him. (Dave R. Cervantes, Reston)

Second Runner-Up --

Illegal: Having dead guys vote.
Unethical: Using dead guys as HOV-lane passengers. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

First Runner-Up -- It may be okay to accept a deferred loan from Bob Dole to pay your fine, and it may be unethical to take the money from your campaign fund to pay your fine, but it is definitely illegal to raise the money by poaching giraffes. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

And the winner of the gigantic rotisserie:

Unethical: Spitting in an umpire's face and blaming it on the death of his child.
Illegal: Spitting on the sidewalk. (Bill Moulden, Frederick)

Honorable Mentions:

Unethical: Soliciting campaign donations from the White House.
Illegal: Soliciting from the White House.

(Dave Ferry, Leesburg; Noah Meyerson, Cambridge, Mass.)

Unethical: Using official helicopters to go golfing.
Illegal: Using Navy Seals to retrieve lost balls. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Unethical: Postal workers wasting time on the job.
Illegal: Postal workers wasting people on the job. (Lee Mayer and Paul Laporte, Washington)

Unethical: Borrowing money to pay a fine.
Illegal: "Borrowing" money to "pay" a fine.

(Joel Knanishu, Hyattsville)

Unethical: Diverting money to your campaign from the sale of Girl Scout cookies.
Illegal: Diverting money to your campaign from the sale of Girl Scouts. (Jason Walther, Gaithersburg; David Salzman, Chevy Chase)

Unethical: A federal employee hires his mistress.
Illegal: A federal employee hires his wife. (Melissa Yorks and Joe Bangiolo, Washington)

Unethical: Charging kids to enter the White House Easter Egg roll.
Illegal: Assigning the kids numbers and setting up a betting booth. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

And Last:

Unethical: Plagiarism.
Illegal: Pretending to be the pope while doing so. (Michael Golden, Puyallup, Wash.)

Next Week: Ask Backwards IX

Accelerator; Acceptable; Act of Defiance; Activist; Admiral Indy; Adverse; Affair with Peaches; After the Fable; Air Cool; Air Power; Ajina; Alamocitos; All American Steve; All Chatter; All Saints; Always my Place; American Champ; American Pace; Andiron; Anet; Armed Escort; Arthur L; Astral Wood; Babalover; Bagshot; Balanced Budget; Balcony; Bald Ridge; Batoile; Battle Mountain; Behrens; Benji; Best Effort; Big Find; Big n' Bold; Big River; Big Vig; Billingsly; Blade Ae; Blazing Sword; Bolero Boy; Boston Harbor; Brassy and Sunny; Brave Act; Brave Tender; Brewmaster; Brite Commander; Brolly; Buck Ridge; Bullet Valay; Can't Hurry Love; Captain Bodgit; Captain Easy; Capture the Gold; Carmen's Baby; Casey Tibbs; Cash Deposit; Catty King; Cedar Falls; Celtic Warrior; Champagne Pay Day; Classeana; Classic Credential; Colonial Mate; Concerto; Confide; Constant Demand; Construction; Cool Mill; Country Rainbow; Crafty One; Creditor; Crimson Classic; Cromwell; Crown Ambassador; Crypto Star; Cryptocloser; Cryptomystic; Cryptoo; D'Nang; Dan's Promise; Danzatame; Daylight in Dubai; De Casperis; Deeds Not Words; Deputy Commander; Deputy Lake; Desert Cafe; Diabolus; Dipiperon; Direct Hit; Dixie Draw; Don Gato; Double Naught Spy; Dr. Best; Dr. Spine; Droopy Stone; Dubai Dust; Dusty Boy; Dynamite Flash; Early Release; Earth Star; Easy Climb; Effect; El Gris; El Joven; Emailit; Encryption; Erv; Esteemed Friend; Excellent Secret; Facinatin Fred; Falkenham; Family Calling; Famously Free; Faux Art; Felix the Cat; Ferrocarril; Flew the City; Flying with Eagles; Fourth and Six; Free House; Friskmenow; Funontherun; Futuro Prospect; Get Smart Ghost Ranch; Glitter and Gold; Glitter Woman; Gold Book; Gold Tribute; Golden Music; Gone Hollywood; Gone Zilla; Graffiti; Greed is Good; Greed; Gretel's Hero; Grey West; Gun Fight; Gutsy Move; Hail the Hero; Hamilton Creek; Harbour Patrol; Harmonica Man; Haute My; Hawks Landing; Hell Bent; Hello; Hex; Hismajestyscolors; Holzmeister; Honey's Whisper; Hoop It Up; Hornbeam; Hot Porridge; Hoxie; Hunt for Kris; Hurry the Dance; Imgreektoo; In CC's Honor; In Excessive Bull; Inexcessivelygood; Irish Silence; It's Coole; Jack at the Bank; Jack Flash; Joliet Jake; Jolly Sixpence; Jorshawn; Joshua Dancer; Jules; Just About; Just Dixie; Just for a Minute; Kearsarge; Keep it Strait; Kelly Kip; King Crimson; King of Swing; Knee High in Wheat; Laser Loop; Las Vegas Ernie; Lasting Approval; Lavender; Leestown; Leo the Great; Letterhead; Liberty Gold; Littlebitlively; Love View; Magical Series; Majesticperfection; Man of his Word; Mantovani; Master Marshal; McDowell's Run; Michellesallhands; Milliondollardana; Mining Surprise; Mister Mighty Mack; Miswaki Bandit; Mr. Sweeney; Mo's My Man; Monk's Corner; Mr. Answer Man; Mud Route; Mzuri; Nevada Gold; Night in Reno; Ox's Ice; Oakhurst; Oak Level; One Fast Flight; Open Forum; Ordway; Our Irish Beau; Pacificbounty; Pagnini; Pale Halo; Partner's Hero; Peace Quest; Peace and Plenty; Peary Mason; Pennant Flag; Photarc; Pioneer Spirit; Pitkin County; Plenty of Pie; Pourmeacoolone; Powerful Goer; Prairie Junction; Precocity; President's Decree; Prime Time Actor; Prince Guistino; Private Joe; Profound Secret; Prometheus Unbound; Proud and True; Proudly We Hail; P.T. Indy; Pulpit; Quiet Minstrel; Radio Flyer; Raisor's Edge; Raw New; Real Star; Rebridled; Red; Red Jade; Red Rahy; Red Ranger; Regal Chant; Renteria; Repeat; Richter Scale; Rimsky Korsakov; Risen' Shine; River Squall; Riversong; Robynhood; Rojo Dinero; Roll Again; Royal Albert Hall; Royal Aty; Royal Concord; Royal Strand; Royal Timber; Running Stag; Ryan's Snowman; Ryn Tyn Tyn; Sahm; Sam's Place; Sarasota Slew; Say Florida Sandy; Say Uncle; Sea Ripple; Sentinal Paradice ; Shamikh; Shammy Davis; Shamrock Lad; Sharp Cat; Sharpsire; Shawaf; Shoot the Works; Silver Charm; Silver Sage; Six Four Kilo; Ski Pro; Skip Out First; Skippin Stoned; Slewp'a Doop; Smiling n' Singing; Smoke Glacken; Smokin Mel; Snow Birdie; So Ho Beau; Social Pillar; Social Promotion; Sovereign Storm; Spanish Fighter; Spindletop; Spy Hawk; Stage Affair; Standing on Edge; Star Actor; Star of Halo; Steel Ruhlr; Stolen Gold; Stop Watch; Storm Song; Stormin Fever; Stormscope; Stormy Cloud; Strategic Defense; Stroke; Succeed; Sunbeam Dance; Super Glide; Surely a Devil; Svenska; Swagger; Swiss Yodeler; Sydneytwothousand; T V King; Table Stakes; Take the Wind; Tale of the Cat; Taliesin; Tansit; Teamwork; Tejano Couture; Testafly; Thatsusintheolbean; The Boston Kid; The Silver Move; The Toy Man; Thisnearlywasmine; Thunder Reef; Tiberon; Time and Time; Time to Gamble; Tommy Capote; Touch Gold; Tough Call; Tracker; Trafalger; Traigo de Todo; Traitor; Trancus; Traufast Slew; Tres Shiek; Tricky; Trophy Hunter; Tru Story; Truman C; Twin Spires; Unexpected Gift; Unites Big Red; Valadour; Valid Show; Ventry; Vermilion; Very Classic; War Broth; Warmonger; Weather; What a Claim; What a Copelan; Wheatly Nation; White Bronco; White Hot; Wild Rush; Wild Tempest; Wild Tempo; Wild Wonder; Willing Jolie; Wrightwood; Y'all Can; Yeti; You Know How It Is; Young at Heart; Zede.