WEEK 101: [title deliberately left blank]


First-Prize Winner gets an antique Oliver Hardy ventriloquist's dummy, a
value of $50. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational
losers' T-shirts. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style
Invitational bumper stickers. Winners will be selected on the basis of
humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week
101, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax
them to 202-334-4312, or submit them via the Internet to this address:
losers@access.digex.net. Entries must be received on or before Monday,
Feb. 27. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be
announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for
taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchase necessary. Don't look for
help here. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families
are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 98, in which we asked for country-western song titles,
on the general subjects of Lovin', Cheatin', Thievin', Drinkin', Truckin'
or Dogs.

Great results. Many people submitted real song titles, the best
of which was "I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lyin' on My Side Cryin' in
My Sleep Over You."

Seventh Runner-Up: "Jump in the Hefty Bag, Baby, 'Cause I'm Takin' Out
the Trash" (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

Sixth Runner-Up: "She Gimme Any More Lip, You Gonna Have to Call Me
Jagger" (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Fifth Runner-Up: "My Best Man Was Her Daddy's Shotgun" (Rajiv Suri,
Washington)

Fourth Runner-Up: "Why Don't We Get Drunk and (Thud)" (Tom Witte,
Gaithersburg)

[Table]

Third Runner-Up: "I Knifed the Forklift Driver 'Cause He Was
Spoonin' With You" (submitted posthumously for Somerby Dowst by his
loving nephew Rich Inman, Reston)

Second Runner-Up: "Won't You Be My Ballantine?" (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

First Runner-Up:"I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With
You" (Sarah Worcester, Bowie)

And The Winner of the Beano Windbreaker:

"Lovin' You Clogged My Arteries With Your Big Fat Lies, Then You Bypassed
My Heart for Some Other Guy" (Lois and Tony Roisman, Washington)

Honorable Mentions:

"Stand by Your Dog" (Paul Styrene, Olney)

"You Left Me in a Ditch, Brokenhearted and Infected, You Giraffe-Hunting
Bastard" (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

"I Stagger the Line" (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

"Fancy Garbage-Truck Drivin' Man" (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

"You Stole My Heart, but Lojack Found It" (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

"Like a Rolling Home" (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

"You're as Sweet as Tupelo Honey on My Spam" (Robin D. Grove, Washington)

"I May as Well Be Gay If You're Not Straight With Me" (Stephen Dudzik,
Silver Spring)

"They Say Our Love's Illicit, but I'm Still Prayin' for a Conjugal Visit"
(Linda K. Malcolm, Silver Spring)

"(Our Love Is So Hot) You're Meltin' Nadine's Tattoo off My Butt" (Mary
Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

"A Replacement Player Hit a Home Run With My Cheatin' Wife" (Russ Beland,
Springfield)

"I Fought the Dog, and the Dog Won" (Ian & Melissa Fossberg, Washington)

"I Wanted His Truck, but All I Got Was the Dipstick" (Philip D. Delduke,
Bethesda)

"My Man Is Up in Lorton and His Boyfriend's Name Is Norton." (Linda K.
Malcolm, Silver Spring)

"If I Were a Dog I Wouldn't Sniff Your Cheatin' Butt" (Ken Krattenmaker,
Landover Hills)

"You're the Missing Link in My Chain Saw, and I Just Can't Cut It No
More" (Marian Carlsson, Lexington, Va.)

"She Swore She'd Be Faithful but There's WD-40 on the Zipper of Her
Jeans" (Paul A. Alter, Hyattsville)

"My Love for You Is Bigger Than My Prostate" (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

And last:

"If You Ever Leave Me, Take the Mongoose With You" (Stephen Dudzik,
Silver Spring)

NEXT WEEK: What's Wrong With These Pictures