WEEK 99: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES?


This Week's Contest was suggested by Jennifer Hart of Arlington, who wins a Russian-language Archie comic book. Jennifer proposes that you tell us What's Wrong With These Pictures? Choose one or more. First-prize winner gets a fabulous copper music box outhouse that plays "Those Were the Days" while the door swings open, revealing a little man engaged in traditional outhouse activity, a value of $ 50. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper stickers. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 99, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to 202-334-4312, or submit them via the Internet to this address: losers@access.digex.net. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Feb. 13. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 96, in which you were asked to come up with a catch phrase to describe the 1990s.

But first, a special citation to Mike Thring of Leesburg, who wins Dan Quayle's book, "Standing Firm," for coming up with catch phrases for the '50s through the '90s, which we print here without comment: '50s -- The Dick Clark Years; '60s -- The Dick York Years; '70s -- The Dick Nixon Years; '80s -- The Richard Simmons Years; '90s -- The Age of Bobbitt.

Back to the '90s:

Third Runner-Up: The Great Sobriety (Joseph Atkins, Bethesda)

Second Runner-Up: How's My Decade? (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

First Runner-Up: The Times That Sold Men's Trials (Kurt Rabin, Fredericksburg)

And the Winner of the framed Velvis:

The Age of Innocence Not Guilty (Joseph Romm, Washington)

Honorable Mentions:

The Honorable Mention Years. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

The Decade So Politically Correct It's Afraid to Label Itself (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

The 1990s: The '80s With a Salary Cap. (Robin D. Grove, Washington)

The Short Attention Spa Decade (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)

The Self-Referential Decade, as Named by Peter Owen of Williamsburg. (Peter Owen, Williamsburg)

The Days of Whine & Roseanne (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

THE TABLOID TIMES (Fred Dawson, Beltsville)

The 21st Century: The Early Years (Joseph Romm, Washington)

The Nineties. The Ninesters, the Nine-o-ramas, the Ninety-Meisters, the Age of Nine-ishness... (Paul Styrene, Olney)

The Twilight of the Goods (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

A Decade to Be Named Later (Joseph Romm, Washington)

The Guilted Age (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

The 1990s: NFC 10, AFC 0 (Dan Byrne, Falls Church)

The Rough Age (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

The Rolodecade (Mike Thring, Leesburg)

Rappin' With the '90s. The One 2 Ten Years Lacing Music With Our Fears *&%#@ the Rest 'Cause These Are Best. (Jim and Tana Reagan, Herndon)

The Decade of the 1990s -- Brought to you by your good friends at Allstate, who remind you, "You're in Good Hands With Allstate," and by your local Coca-Cola bottler. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

The Decade Shortened by the Astronomers' Strike (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Next Week: Newtonian Philosophy