Week 30: The Rorschach Of The Crowd


This Week's Contest: Interpret any of these ink blots. If you rotate one, please indicate which end is up. First-prize winner receives a two-person horse costume for Halloween, a value of $ 90. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 30, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312. Urgent secret emergency message to anyone still reading the fine print: For reasons that will become apparent, we are desperate for funny material next week! Get your favorite jokes to us by Wednesday. The best will win a fine vintage toaster. Thank you. Now back to our regularly scheduled blather. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Oct 4. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 27, in which we asked you to coin eponyms, words based on the names of famous people.

Fourth Runner-Up: STOCK!DALE noun The place your mind wanders off to when you daydream. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt) Third Runner-Up: To CUO!MO verb To edge forward and back up repeatedly when attempting to turn onto a busy thoroughfare, to the annoyance of other drivers. (Peter Owen, Williamsburg)

Second Runner-Up: DEE DEE noun Short, substanceless commentary. "I went to the press conference hoping for a good story, but all I got was dee dee." (Kate Sparks and Sarah Ducich, Washington, and Laura Sokol, Warsaw.)

First Runner-Up: To PACK WOOD verb To be glad to see someone. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge) And the winner of the giant flag of a cow:

To SHA!LIK!A!SHVI!LI verb To ensure a low profile for a program or agency by appointing a director whose name no one can pronounce or spell or even fit in a headline. "We finally shalikashvilied the White House travel office by appointing Joe Bkistellzrtngounmr!" (Sharon Kuykendall, Takoma Park)

Elvises: SPIN!O!ZA noun A philosophical underpinning used to support a specious statement or argument. "The White House put the old spinoza on reactions to the president's health care plan." (Stuart A. Segal, Vienna)

HAM!LISCH MA!NEU!VER noun The hugging of oneself. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

LIM!BAUGH!GER noun A huge, soft white cheese with a very strong odor and flavor. Hard to digest. (Jeff Gold, Washington)

GER!GEN!ZO!LA noun A smooth, bland cheese. (Tom Gearty, Arlington)

To TED!DY verb To take off one's pants and act nonchalantly. "You know, I think Mike has been acting pretty weird lately. He's teddied before, but now he does it all the time at parties." (Nick Dierman, Potomac)

To CHUNG verb To ruin something by making it too cute. "That was a great house till they chunged it up with Precious-Moment figurines." (Kate Sparks and Sarah Ducich, Washington, and Laura Sokol, Warsaw)

To SU!NU!NU verb To fly long distances at government expense to keep an appointment with the family dentist. "I'm Sununuing at Martha's Vineyard this year." (John Kupiec, Springfield)

TSONG noun A sensible melody that no one wants to hear. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt)

MC!GINN!ISS STOUT noun Faux beer. (Stefanie Weldon, Silver Spring)

CLIN*TON noun A bulk unit of fast-food hamburgers, usu. 2,000 pounds. "Over four Clintons sold." (Larry Schuler, Fairfax)

To SHAT!NER verb To chew the scenery, swallow it and convert it to fatty tissue. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

DOLE!BY noun A sound system used to amplify unwanted white noise. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt)

LOV!ETT noun Someone extremely lucky in love. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

HELMS!MAN noun Head of a knee-jerk conservative organization. (Linda and Eric M. Drattell, North Potomac)

HAFT & HAFT noun A dairy creamer with a shelf-life of 40 years, after which it separates. (Joanne Findley, West River, Md.)

ROBB noun A nude massage, and nothing else. "Mmmm, thank you Sven, dahling, you know I needed more than a robb." (David H. Green, Great Falls)

AL!GO*RITHM METH!OD noun A system of birth control based on boring one's partner into disinterest. (Kathy Weisse, Sykesville; also, Ken Linker, Falls Church)

NIX!ON!ER!ATED verb, past tense Cleared of criminal responsibility while still remaining guilty and pernicious in the popular mind. "Ollie North was nixonerated in the Iran-contra affair." (Tom Gearty, Arlington) And Last:

CHUCK!SMITH noun A collector of T-shirts. (Donald L. Thompson, Gaithersburg) CHUCK noun A T-shirt for losers, as popularized by Chuck Smith, Woodbridge. "The Chuck's in the mail." (Mike Thring, Leesburg)

EL!VIS noun An honorable mention. "Dang! Not another Elvis!" (Mike Thring, Leesburg)

Next Week: Some Desperate Attempt To Be Funny