Week 27: It's the Eponomy, Stupid


Perot. verb. To stand or sit next to someone important and make him feel insecure by saying inane but profound-sounding things.

Pack. noun. An unwanted sexual advance more intrusive than a peck, as popularized by Sen. Bob Packwood of Oregon.

Bobbitt. verb. To bob "it."

Hooverville. noun. A room full of transvestites.

This week's contest was proposed by Kitty Theurmer of Washington, who wins a commemorative dinner plate from Hope, Ark., featuring a likeness of President Clinton that appears to have been drawn by a mule or some other animal without opposable thumbs. Kitty suggests coining an eponym, a word or figure of speech based on the name of a famous person. You must define the word, and, if you wish, use it in a sentence. First-prize winner receives a gigantic flag of a cow, a value of approximately $ 30. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 27, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Sept. 13. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 24, in which we asked you to supply "Jeopardy!" questions to fit any of 16 answers we supplied.

But first, a brief aside. We have a letter here from Forrest L. Miller of Rockville, addressed to the editor of The Style Invitational. The salutation reads: "Dear Chuck Smith of Woodbridge's mother ..." Alas, there does appear to be a teensy tide of resentment out there against Mr. Smith because of his sustained success in The Style Invitational. We would like to make it clear, first, that we are not Mr. Smith's mother, so far as we know. And second, that we are just as tired of sending Mr. Smith merchandise as you are of watching us send him merchandise. Week after week, he forces our hand. We hate Chuck Smith of Woodbridge and wish upon him a persistent fungal infection.

Sixth Runner-Up -- Answer: Socks. Question: Who has also been neutered at the White House? (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Fifth Runner-Up -- Answer: To get to the other side. Question: Why did the chicken enter Dan Quayle's ear? (Mark A. Hagenau, Bowie)

Fourth Runner-Up -- Answer: Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Madonna. Question: Name two women whose IQ plus bust size equals 180. (Debby Prigal, Washington)

Third Runner-Up -- Answer: Herbert Haft's hair. Question: What is the only element in the Haft family currently not parted? (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

Second Runner-Up -- Answer: Socks. Question: What do the Clintons hide when hungry Arkansas relatives show up at the White House? (Audrey Kovalak, Springfield)

First Runner-Up -- Answer: Lorena Bobbitt or Mahatma Gandhi. Question: Who are two people whose spouse had a big red dot somewhere on their body? (Joey Zarrow, Herndon) And the winner of the fuzzy moose bedroom slippers plus tickets to a Bowie Baysox game:

Answer: Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Madonna. Question: What do you get when you combine Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Madonna? (Jacob Weinstein, Washington)

Honorable Mentions:

Answer: To get to the other side.

Why did Dan Quayle break the mirror? (Linda K. Malcolm, Silver Spring)

Answer: Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Madonna.

What two women are most readily recognizable by their buns? (Karen Troccoli, Bethesda)

Who are two women who wear cast-iron underwear? (Dot Devore, Frederick)

Answer: The inventor of the urinary catheter.

Who had an initial failure with his "urinary infuser"? (Karsten Brown, Front Royal)

From whom would you not borrow tubing to siphon gas out of a tank? (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

What medical pioneer valued his peers among all others? (Scott Keeter, Arlington)

Who also invented the Flavor Straw? (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Answer: Lorena Bobbitt or Mahatma Gandhi

Who was the wrong person to tell: "Don't make trouble. Just lie back, be quiet, and think of England"? (Jackson Bross, Chevy Chase)

Name a Virginia woman or a Hindu leader who was the center of a bloody uprising. (Joan and Frank Sellers, Falls Church) Which celebrity, living or dead, would be a bad choice as the next spokesperson for Esskay all-meat franks? (Paul B. Jacoby, Washington) Answer: Janet Reno's shoes.

What did Eleanor Roosevelt donate to Goodwill in 1940? (Karen Kimmel-Militzer, Gaithersburg)

What did William Sessions have surgically removed from his rear end? (Dan Shvodian, Bethesda)

Answer: Oo-bop-a-loo-bop-a-loo-bop-boom.

What is the sound of William Sessions going down a flight of stairs? (Tom Gearty, Washington) What was Alley Oop's name before Ellis Island? (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge) Answer: Heidi Fleiss's notebook.

What is something that men would overpay to get into and pay anything to get out of? (Larry Brett, Washington) What's the only place in Hollywood where Rodney Dangerfield comes before Harrison Ford? (Jacob Weinstein, Washington)

Answer: Marion Barry, Vaclav Havel and that guy in the Taster's Choice ads.

Who are the three latest men to reveal they are Bill Clinton's half-brothers? (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.; also, Karen K. Kirschenbauer, Middleburg) Quien es mas macho? (Pasky Pascual, University Park) Who are the only people Joe McGinniss interviewed for "The Last Brother"? (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

Answer: Michael Jackson's face.

What is Janet Jackson's face? (Mimi Murray, Charlottesville)

What is Silicon Valley? (Tom Gearty, Washington)

Answer: Don't Ask, Don't Tell. What is the dullest game show on TV? (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Next Week: Caption Crunch.