PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR KEVIN D'EUSTACHIO
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 1: 1st Runner-Up; rarely seen now, last awarded to Jon Dixon in Week 792.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
- M: Title for the Honorable Mentions section, first awarded to Meg Sullivan in Week 652.
||Rocky of ages, or Badenov for you?
||State any historical event -- right up to 2021 -- in the provided "A, or B" format.
||Write a Poed, which consists of four lines: The first line contains six one-syllable words. The second line contains three two-syllable words. The third line contains two three-syllable words. The fourth line contains one six-syllable word (or a name totaling six syllables. And at least two of the lines must rhyme.
||Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout.
||Faux re mi
||Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians.
||Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms.
||Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage.
||Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse.
||DQ Very Much
||Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere).
||Always Looking for Sects
||Coin a religion or belief system and tell us its basic tenet or distinguishing characteristic.
||Clue Us In
||Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.
||Write a poem about someone who died in 2006.
||Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement.
||Truly Stupendous Ideas
||Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different.
||Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form.
||Hard to Overstate
||Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be.
||H H |
||Take any of the provided witty statements and use the first letters in each of the words to create a brand-new, unrelated funny statement.
||H H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]