PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BOB ZANE
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 1: 1st Runner-Up; rarely seen now, last awarded to Jon Dixon in Week 792.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
||INSPECT A GADGET
||What do these machines do?
||H H |
||Write a caption for any of these photos.
||H L |
||Come up with slogans for the 1996 presidential campaign.
||A RECYCLED IDEA THAT WAS NONE TOO GOOD TO BEGIN WITH
||Alter a well-known phrase or name by deleting, adding or changing only one letter, and then supply a definition for what results.
||I AM ADDICTED TO AN ASININE CONTEST…
||Come up with sleazy new topics for the daytime talks.
||H H H |
||Modernize collective nouns (as in a "pride" of lions or an "exaltation" of larks), inventing snide new names for groups of things.
||YOU GIVE US THE BACKS OFF OUR SHIRTS
||The back of the shirt needs a slogan, something that captures the spirit of The Style Invitational. What is that spirit? You tell us.
||I AM SPURIOUS (YELLOW)
||Write a headline for the Weekly World News (Maximum length, 10 words)
||1 H H |
||PUTTING WORDS IN THEIR MOUTHS
||In 40 words or less, write a caption for either of these two generic cartoons drawn by famed Style Invitational artist Marc Rosenthal.
||This week, a gripe-fest about modernity and other irritations. Complete this sentence: "If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we ... "
||A STATUE OF LIMITATIONS
||Come up with a concept for a statue of someone -- anyone, dead or alive -- who doesn't currently have one.
||H H W ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]