PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR LARRY YUNGK

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1345 The confaketionary -- food fictoids Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining. H H
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. H H H
1006 It's a ... a ... Create a new superhero (or duo) and describe the superpower, or not-very-superpower. H
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H
992 Mittsterpiece Theatre Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen. I
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H H H
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. H H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H H
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. I
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H I
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
944 Uh, yeah, it's just you Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions. H
937 Staake it to him Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books. H H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. H
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. 4 H H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. L
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H L
898 Pre-current events Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011. H
896 Other people's business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H W
895 Picture this Supply a caption for any of these cartoons. 4
886 Look both ways Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H H
859 Can't goods Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above. 3 H P T
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. H
851 Going to the shrink Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it. H T
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. H H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H
844 Healthy choice Enter any Style Invitational from Week 790 through Week 840, except for Week 793 and Week 798. 3
843 Prefrains Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. 2
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. H H T
838 Picture This Provide a caption for any of these pictures. H
837 Strip Search Combine two comic strips that appear in The Washington Post or at washingtonpost.com/comics and describe the results. H
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
834 Fractured Compounds Combine two full words within any single article appearing in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com into a hyphenated compound word, and define or otherwise describe the result. H H
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. H H H H
831 A Big To-Do Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character. H I
827 Caller Idiot Name a real product or company and supply a stupid question or complaint for the consumer hotline person. H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. H
822 For Real Folks Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife. H
819 Art Re-View These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they? H P
815 Wittecisms Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, an I, two T's and an E. H
813 Aw, Shocks Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not." H
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." 3
811 Rock-Bottom Lines Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse. H
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. H H H H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H H
801 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions. H
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. H H
799 Send Us the Bill Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together. H
796 Sincerest Flattery Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote. 2
795 Stimulate Us Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on. H M
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
790 If Only! Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred. 3 H H H
787 Tour de Fours V Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters M, I, N and E. T
786 Top of the Staake So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest. H
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. 4
781 Our Greatest Hit Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H H H
774 Tour De Forks Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it. H H
771 Groaner's Manuals Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization. H H
770 A Knack for Anachronism Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age. H
768 The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious Come up with fictitious movie trivia. 2 H H
766 Think to Shudder Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above. H
764 Can You Up Chuck? Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris Facts. H
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H
759 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H H
758 Wrong Address Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage. H
757 Gorey Thoughts From A to Z Send us some rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H H
755 Take Another 'Whack Send us a phrase of two or more words that produces exactly one Web page on the Google search engine and describe the phrase. H
754 Canny Similarities Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above. H W
751 Strike Gold Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike. H
750 Hit Us With Your Best Shot: Photo Contest No. 4 Illustrate, any way you like, any of the provided five captions with your own original photo. I
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H P
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
745 Hurry Up and Slow Down! Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up. H H T
744 You OED Us One Make up a humorous and false definition for any of the words listed below. H H H
743 Picture This Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons. 3 H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H T
741 Well, What Do You Know? Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations. H
740 Give Us a Hint Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well. H
739 Lies, All Lies Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure. 2
738 So What's To Liken? Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar. H
732 The Chain Gang Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush." 3 T
730 Time-Wastes For Everyman Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time. H
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H
721 Know Your Market For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News. H
720 The Course of Humor Events Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram. H
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. H
709 A Return Engagement Come up with some novel change to the tax code: a tax on something ought to be taxed, a credit for something that should be rewarded, what the $3 should go to instead of presidential campaigns, etc. H
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H H H
701 Untitlement Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about? H H
696 Send Us the Bill Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together. H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H
691 Haven't Got a Clue Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words. H
640 Whassa Motto Wid You? Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories. H H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]