PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MELISSA YORKS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1292 Golly gosh, it's Limerixicon XV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term, beginning with "gl-" through "go-". P
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. P
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. H
1154 Tabby Road -- songs for cats Write a song for -- or about -- cats or other animals, set to a familiar tune. P
1019 What a turnoff Tell us some creative things that children and families could do during Screen-Free Week. P
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H
940 Our type o' headline Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead). P
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. P
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H
886 Look both ways Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it. H
879 Say Venn Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram. P
865 No Googlenopes left Come up with a humorous Googlenope. P
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. L
815 Wittecisms Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, and I, two T's and an E. P
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." H
811 Rock-Bottom Lines Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse. P
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. H
694 Hopelessly Ever After Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing. H
672 Just Sign This Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign. H
635 I've Told You a Hundred Times Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from than original winners. H
587 The B-List Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings. H
534 The Feminine Touch Propose how any male-dominated occupation of institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated. H
406 Bum Steerage Offer some spectacularly bad advice to any of the provided people. H
376 Apply Yourself Supply bad openings to college application biographies. H
340 ASK BACKWARDS 12 You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? 1
213 A SIN OF THE TIMES Submit campaign or other political practices that would be illegal and/or unethical. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]