PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DIXON WRAGG

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H H H H H H
1018 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time. H H H
1017 Vowel play Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout. 2
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. H
1012 The news at 5 Write a limerick about a recent news event. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. 4 H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1005 Send us the bill Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or more of the 98 new House and Senate members provided. H
1004 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. H
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition for any of the listed OED words. 2 H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H H
998 Set the law on us Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world. H
997 Unworthy causes Name a dubious charity and describe its mission. 2
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. H
991 Tour de Fours IX Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block V, O, T, and E and define it. T
988 A faster break Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting. 2
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H
982 The parody line Set your own, humorous words to the tune of a well-known song--except that you must preserve one of the original lines. 2
978 A reason to rhyme the news Write a short verse about something that's been in the news recently. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. 2
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" whose name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H H
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." H H
948 Look back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 945 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). H
944 Uh, yeah, it's just you Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions. H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H
940 Our type o' headline Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead). H H
938 Free and Lear Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines. H
937 Staake it to him Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books. H
933 Stories that count (to 56) Write a humorous story in exactly 56 words. L
929 Now sit right back ... Write a funny song introducing a TV show, past or present. H
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H
927 Drive-By Shoutings Write a very short four-line “poem” promoting a product or company, or offering advice to drivers; the poem must rhyme, in ABAB or ABCB rhyme scheme. A fifth, non-rhyming line may state the product name or a conclusion. H
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. H
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H T
923 Chemical Wordfare Create a new chemical element or other chemical term. H H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H M
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May 2 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
911 Help! Create a short humorous dialogue -- or a monologue featuring one party -- of a phone call to 911, or a call for help to someone else. H
909 Reprizing Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination. H H
905 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote responding to one of these past Editor's Query topics. H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. M
903 Bill us now Combine the names of two or more members of Congress as co-sponsors of a bill. H
902 What's the good news? Take any sentence, or substantive part of a sentence, or a headline from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Jan. 7 to Jan. 18 and make it sound upbeat (or not so bad). W
901 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010. H H
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
898 Pre-current events Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011. H
897 Catch their drift Take any sentence from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English." H H
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H
893 Give us a hint Write a humorously witty story in 25 words or fewer. H H
892 Get a move on Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish. H
888 It's the eponymy, stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence 4
887 Plus-Fours Write a limerick whose third or fourth line is one of those listed above. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]