PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR RICHARD WONG

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. H
979 The madding crowd Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off. H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. H
694 Hopelessly Ever After Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing. H
691 Haven't Got a Clue Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words. H
580 United Nations Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country. H
511 It All Impends Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons. H
480 In No Uncertain Terminations Come up with a way to stop any unwanted overture in its tracks. H
451 Make Your Pix Which two of the provided cartoons are related, and how? H
223 ATTEMPTING REENTRY Submit entries to any past contest, so long as you never submitted them before. H
170 THE ELEMENTS OF SMILE Why are these people smiling? 4
141 ASK BACKWARD VII You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
38 ASK BACKWARDS II You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]