PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR RICHARD WONG
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Be a published author!
||Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined.
||A Life-Time opportunity
||Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish.
||The madding crowd
||Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off.
||Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer.
||They don't say!
||Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said.
||Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos.
||Hopelessly Ever After
||Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing.
||Haven't Got a Clue
||Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words.
||Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country.
||It All Impends
||Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons.
||In No Uncertain Terminations
||Come up with a way to stop any unwanted overture in its tracks.
||Make Your Pix
||Which two of the provided cartoons are related, and how?
||Submit entries to any past contest, so long as you never submitted them before.
||THE ELEMENTS OF SMILE
||Why are these people smiling?
||ASK BACKWARD VII
||You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?
||ASK BACKWARDS II
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]