PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR WILSON VARGA
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest
||Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names.
||A Big To-Do
||Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character.
||There Will Be Bloodline
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal.
||Hot Off The Riddle
||Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer.
||Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike.
||Hopelessly Ever After
||Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing.
||Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket.
||Ticket to Write
||Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song.
||Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare.
||Worth at Least a Dozen Words
||Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption.
||How Low Will You Go?
||Humiliate yourself for ink, and a stupid prize.
||Not in the Cards
||Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress.
||Show Us Some Character
||Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it.
||Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]