PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR WILSON VARGA

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
831 A Big To-Do Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character. P
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. P
759 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal. P
753 Hot Off The Riddle Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer. P
751 Strike Gold Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike. W
694 Hopelessly Ever After Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing. H
689 Busted Play Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket. H
681 Ticket to Write Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song. H
679 Ask Backwards Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
662 How Low Will You Go? Humiliate yourself for ink, and a stupid prize. H
658 Not in the Cards Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress. H
651 Show Us Some Character Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it. H
646 Warped Perspectives Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]