PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BARBARA TURNER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1278 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 68 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names, in the style of today's inking entries. H
1266 The Tile Invitational V Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. 4
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. L
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1236 Portmanteaux faux Explain--inaccurately but amusingly--how a real word is a combination of two or more words, with an illustrative sentence, as in the provided examples, or some other funny way. H H H T
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. P
1205 Could we just have a do-over? Yes, we could. Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1201, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. P
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. P
1159 It's all in the game Come up with a funny/ridiculous board-type game and describe it. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H H
1153 Be three-paired Choose two or more entities represented by a single three-letter combination from IAA through LZZ, found at the provided link, and say how they are alike or different or have some connection. H
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H H
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H H
1129 Right in the pampootie Write a humorous short poem (eight lines or fewer) incorporating one of the 50 provided words. H
1114 Awww together now Write us a humorous headline -- from the past, present, or future -- that puts an optimistic perspective on some otherwise not-so-promising news. P
1104 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- see the links at bit.ly/abbrevs-e-h and say how they are alike or different. H
1103 Themes good enough for us Suggest an existing song to be used as the theme for a TV series or program for comic effect. H
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. H
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H H
1088 Ask backwards with our answers, your questions Supply the questions to as many of the 16 supplies answers as you like. H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1078 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of any hyphenated word or compound term with one side of another word to make a new hyphenated term, and define it humorously. Both halves must appear in the same issue of The Post or another print newspaper, or in writing published the same day on washingtonpost.com or another online publication. H
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1059 With parens like these Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H H
1044 Play it safe Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere. H
1043 Rechanneling celebrity Describe a TV reality show featuring a celebrity pursuing some unlikely endeavor. H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. W
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. W
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition from any other the listed OED words. H
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. P
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H H
994 Stick it to us Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. 4 H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H H
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. 2 H
944 Uh, yeah, it's just you Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions. H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H H
937 Staake it to him Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books. H P
935 The 400 blows Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event. M
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. H
920 Sarchiasm Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect. H H
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
915 Picture this Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here. H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. H
910 Your ad here Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it. 3
909 Reprizing Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination. H
906 Your mug here Give us a new design for the Loser Mug. H
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." H
884 Rekindling the spork Combine two devices or other products to make a new one. H
878 Safety in blunders Tell us a way to make the nation more secure. H
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. P
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
857 All FED Up Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet. 2
856 Titled Puerility Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never by published. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H H
842 Ask backwards Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please. 2
838 Picture This Provide a caption for any of these pictures. H
835 Tour de Fours VI Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E. H
834 Fractured Compounds Combine two full words within any single article appearing in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com into a hyphenated compound word, and define or otherwise describe the result. H
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. H
830 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
828 Inhuman Puns Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it. H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H
820 Be Mister Language Person Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer. P
819 Art Re-View These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they? H
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." 2
811 Rock-Bottom Lines Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse. H
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. T
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H H
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. 3
782 That's the Ticket! Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States. H
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. H
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H H H
774 Tour De Forks Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it. 4
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H
760 Whacksy Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. H
759 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
756 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. 3 H
752 The Might-Mates Right Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates. H
743 Picture This Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons. H H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
722 Let's Play Nopardy! We supply 12 phrases and you get to provide questions they might answer. The phrases were entries in our Week 717 contest, which asked for Googlenopes -- phrases that showed no previous hits from the Google search engine. H
705 Simile Outrageous Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references. 2
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. W
698 Let's Get Personnel Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer. H
691 Haven't Got a Clue Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words. H H
679 Ask Backwards Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare. 3
676 Tour de Fours III Coin and define a word containing -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters L, E, A and F. H
672 Just Sign This Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign. H
669 Huddled Messes Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal). H
665 Your One-in-a-Million Coin the millionth words in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
656 It's Post Time Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined. H
646 Warped Perspectives Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons. H
631 Picture This What's going on in any of these cartoons? 2
620 Keep the Empress Employed Suggest some original, creative ways that The Post could increase its circulation. H
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. W
524 Around Things Moving Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]