PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR SETH TUCKER
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
||Punku 2: Haiku with puns
||Create a haiku containing a pun or similar wordplay.
||Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries.
||Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle.
||H H |
||Playing the short game
||Using the three-letter Olympic national abbreviations and/or the abbreviation for any college, tell what would happen if one abbreviated team played another.
||Post mortems -- our annual obit poem contest
||Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2017.
||That movie is SO about you
||Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie.
||2 H H H |
||Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice.
||H W |
||The Ideas of March
||Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.)
||We beg you to differ
||Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected.
||Post again out to mislead public!
||Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24.
||H H H H |
||Who's kidding whom?
||Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like
||O pedantry, O pedantry
||Give us some humorous pedantry.
||Write a haiku that incorporates a pun.
||4 H H |
||Band on the pun
||Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way.
||A(t)tribute to your wit
||Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else.
||Less taste, more fill-in
||Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down.
||H H |
||Give us some fake sports trivia.
||H W |
||Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation".
||'Might' makes ink
||Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates.
||H H |
||Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it.
||Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer.
||The news at 5
||Write a limerick about a recent news event.
||H H |
||Your ad here
||Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it.
||H H L |
||Your mug here
||Give us a new design for the Loser Mug.
||Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film.
||H H |
||Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase.
||3 H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]