PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MIKE THRING

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. H
186 CALLING THE TOON Who are these people? What are they doing? H H
128 LIKE, DUH Come up with snappy answers to stupid questions. H
125 ASK BACKWARD VI You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? 2
124 SPOON-FEED US. Come up with spoonerisms, expressions based on the transposition of the initial sounds of two paired words. H
117 GIVE 'EM HELOISE Come up with a tribute to Heloise, that queen of inanely creative recycling. L
113 WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I? Take a list of horses nominated to the Triple Crown races this year, choose any two, and propose a name for their offspring. 3
106 DRAWING CONCLUSIONS Who are these people, and what are they doing? 5
102 HELP! I'M A PRISONER IN THIS CONTEST Come up with fortune cookie messages that you would love to see, but never will. H
96 STICK IT IN YOUR ERA Come up with a catch phrase for the 1990s. H H
93 I WANT THE MONGOOSE Tell us, in 50 words or fewer, why you must have this elegant piece of taxidermy featuring a snake being killed by a mongoose. L
85 PLAY MYTHTY FOR ME Come up with new urban myths, those vaguely believable, wildly paranoid stories that circulate by word of mouth until they are generally accepted as true. H
84 THE WASHINGTON IRVINGS Come up with creative names for the high school football teams of real towns in America. H
81 HEADS, YOU LOSE Take any two or more headlines anywhere in today's Washington Post, and combine them to make a funnier headline. H
77 THE RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD II What do these ink blots mean? H
76 ADIOS. Tell us, in 40 words or fewer, what is great about August in Washington. It's August, and we're out of here. H H
75 CURSES! Come up with modern maledictions in the wise and entertaining Yiddish tradition. L
72 OH, HELL Come up with the perfect vision of Hell for a famous person, living or dead. H
56 DO THE HOOKY POKEY Come up with inventive ways to call in sick or otherwise persuade your employer you must miss a day. H
55 ESCAPE CLAUSES Send us self-serving moral loopholes through which the enterprising 1990s transgressor can crawl. 2
53 CRUEL FETE Tell us how the Invitational has changed America. R
51 CAPTION CRUNCH, VOL. II Supply captions for any of these pictures. H
42 HEY, IT COULD BE WORSE There are worse things in life than the Washington Redskins. Just tell us what they are. W
39 WAY OUTSIDE THE LINES Name a new crayon color for the 1990s, with a description. 3
37 A STATE OF DISGRACE? Propose any of the following for D.C.: A State Name, A State Flower, A State Bird, A State Slogan, A State Capital, A Governor, An Insulting State Joke. H
35 LIGHT AT THE END? Tell the federal government what it should do with the 14-mile-long, 15-foot-diameter sausage-shaped tunnel it dug near Waxahachie, Tex., for the Superconducting Super Collider project that was scrapped by Congress last week. H H H H H
34 INSPECT A GADGET What do these machines do? 2
32 FATAL ART ATTACK In 50 words or fewer, describe a performance art concept that might get public funding. Winners will be audacious enough to seem like art, but pretentious enough to seem to have a social "message." H
31 INVITATION TO A DUAL Divide the world into two types of people. H
30 THE RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD Interpret any of the provided ink blots. H
28 MOTHERS-IN-LAW OF INVENTION Propose some drastic change in government to help the economy or otherwise improve the quality of life in America. H
27 IT'S THE EPONYMY, STUPID Coin an eponym, a word or figure of speech based on the name of a famous person. You must define the word, and, if you wish, use it in a sentence. H
25 CAPTION CRUNCH Write a caption for any of these photos. H
23 HAPPY ENDINGS Modernize an old quote or expression by altering its ending. 1 L

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]