PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MICHELLE STUPAK

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1284 Same difference Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. H
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H H
751 Strike Gold Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike. H H
701 Untitlement Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about? H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H
676 Tour de Fours III Coin and define a word containing -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters L, E, A and F. H
673 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on Washingtonpost.com from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H H
671 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the July 16 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H H
667 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through June 26 and supply a question it could answer. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H P W
661 Name Any Good Movies Lately? Give us a funny new title for an existing movie. 3
659 Tell Us a Fib Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme. L
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H
645 A Hearty Har Har Write up a Valentine's sentiment to any personage, or to someone in some generic category. H
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H H H
641 Dreck of All Trades Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it. H H H
638 The Little Bummer Boy Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis. H
635 I've Told You a Hundred Times Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from than original winners. H H
634 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H
633 Your Secret Here! Send us some original secrets (they don't have to be true). H
631 Picture This What's going on in any of these cartoons? H
630 Hyphen the Terrible Combine the beginning and end of any two multisyllabic words in this week's Invitational, and then define the compound. H H H H
629 Odd Couplings Marry or otherwise combine famous names and supply to result. 1 H
627 Per-Verse Write a limerick or other short poem with comically awful rhyming. H
625 Haven't Seen It Make up a new plot for an existing movie title. H H
624 Limerixicon 2 Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with bd- through bl-. H
622 Our Sunday Constitutional Write an new article or amendment to the Constitution, using on the words contained in the existing document (including amendments). H
621 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article in washingtonpost.com anytime through Aug. 8 and supply a question it could answer. H H
619 WordCount Us In Write a poem of no more than four lines containing four or more consecutive words on the WordCount list. They must occur in the sentence in the order they appear on the list. H W
618 Of D.C. I Sing Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune. H
617 Best the Best Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name. H H
616 Picture This, Kids Supply title and one-sentence synopsis for Bob Staake new kids' project, incorporating any of the provided cartoons. P
615 Airy Persiflage Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement. H
614 In-Stock Characters Pitch us an idea for a summer movie featuring two or more of the provided characters. H
612 Oh, and One More Thing What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list? H
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. H H
610 MASH Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. H
608 Comeback Next Week Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments. H H H
606 The News Could be Verse Translate the fine prose of Washington Post articles into verse. Choose any article appearing in The Post of on its Web site from April 17 through April 25. H
605 Truly Stupendous Ideas Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different. H
603 Sui Genesis Take one of two of the 50 chapters of the KJV Book of Genesis and draw thou from them, using words in the order in which they appear in the original, your own passage. W
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add on letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H H
599 So What's the News? Tell us what the illustrated events are. H
596 Take Her Words for It Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation. H
595 Listing Precariously Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form. H H
593 Take This, Job, and Come up with some entertainingly awful things that a Job's comforter might offer. A Job's comforter is someone who seems to be offering sympathy but instead just makes the person feel worse, either intentionally or unintentionally. H
592 We Got Gamy Offer us a concise idea for a Super Bowl commercial, or some innovative halftime entertainment, or some inappropriate sponsors, or some ideas for improving the game itself. H
591 Dead Letters Write rhyming poems about notable personages who have died in the past year. H
589 Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!) Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it. 1 H H H H H H
588 Gadget If You Can Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are. 3
587 The B-List Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings. H
585 It's Parody Time Offer, in the holiday spirit of goodwill, some advice--as constructive and unifying as Loserly suggestions always are--to our nation's leaders (or the loyal opposition) as we prepare for the next four years. This advice will be set to the tune of some winter holiday song, either religious or secular. H H
584 Deliver Us a Post Come up with some new Cabinet or other positions that the president could establish, and describe the job responsibilities. H H H
583 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, from the Washington Post or its Web site from today through next Sunday, and reinterpret it by writing either a "bank headline"--or subtitle--or the first sentence of an article that changes the original meaning entirely. H H H W
581 Evil Things in Store Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate. H
577 Teledubbies Slightly change the title of a TV show, past or present, and describe it. H
532 Short Pans Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]