PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DUNCAN STEVENS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1301 Tell us a Fib(onacci) Write a humorous poem of 20 syllables divided among six lines like this: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. And a least two -- any two -- of the lines must rhyme. H H H W
1300 Botch office sensations Add "13" to an existing movie title, and some humorous trouble to the plot. H H H H H H I
1297 A different type o' headline contest Change a letter in an article or ad in the Post or another publication dated Sept. 13-24 by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting a letter; transposing two letters; or changing spacing or punctuation; and then add a "bank head." H H
1296 A, we're Adorbs: New-word poems Use one or more of these words new to M-W.com in a humorous poem of eight lines max. 4 H H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H H
1293 Constitutional unconvention Humorously translate or explain some part of the U.S. Constitution. 4 H H
1292 Golly gosh, it's Limerixicon XV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term, beginning with "gl-" through "go-". H
1291 Film flam -- movie anagrams Rearrange the letters of a title of a movie or play to make a new title, then describe the new work. H H H H H I
1290 Bobbing for Witte words Come up with both an object/situation and a neologism for it. H H
1289 Fake gnus: bogus animal trivia Tell us a fictoid -- a humorously false "fact" -- about the nonhuman animal kingdom. H H H
1288 Your resukts may vary Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service. H H H H
1287 It's parody time: Oldies for newsies Write some song lyrics about something in the news these days, set to a familiar tune. 3 H H
1286 Mind your P's and B's (and more) Replace one or more P's in a word, name, or multi-word term with a B or with another letter and define or describe the results. H H
1285 That is so wrong! Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer and a cleverly "wrong" guess. H H H I
1284 Same difference Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. H H H
1283 Put it in Bee-verse Write a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer that includes one of the provided words, all from the 2018 National Spelling Bee. H H H H L
1281 We only have (googly) eyes for you Send us a photo of something that you have made funny by pasting googly eyes on it; funny titles and captions are optional. H
1279 Just do it -- the 'real' way List some "accurate" directions for using some product or completing some tak. 4
1278 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 68 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names, in the style of today's inking entries. H H H
1277 Come into Beeing with neologisms From any of the 15 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term of one or two words and define it humorously. You may also supply an especially clever or funny definition of a real term. 2 H H H
1276 What 4? A limerick contest Use a limerick using one of the provided lines as Line 5. H H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H H H H H I
1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. H H H W
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H
1271 Yodel Doyle's praises with a D-O-Y-L-E neologism Coin a new word or phrase that contains the letters D, O, Y, L and E. H H H H
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
H H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. 4
1268 Playing pinocchio Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries. 3 H H
1267 Jingle bungle Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle. H H H M
1266 The Tile Invitational V Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it. H
1265 Parody for the course Write a song relating to a class or course of instruction, or to school in general. H H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H H H H
1263 Playing the short game Using the three-letter Olympic national abbreviations and/or the abbreviation for any college, tell what would happen if one abbreviated team played another. H H H H H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H
1261 Post mortems -- our annual obit poem contest Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2017. H W
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H H H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. P
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H H H
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. 3 H H H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. H H
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H H H H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H H H H H H I
1246 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or another publication, in print or online, dated Sept. 21-Oct. 2, and pair it with a question it might answer. H H H H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. H H H H
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. 4 H H T
1240 We GIVE you Limerixicon XIV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gh-" or "gi-". H
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H H H I
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.)  Coin a three­word phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. H H
1237 Our alliteracy campaign Rewrite an existing headline from any  publication, print or online — about something in the  news from July 20 to 31, by using alliteration. H
1236 Portmanteaux faux Explain--inaccurately but amusingly--how a real word is a combination of two or more words, with an illustrative sentence, as in the provided examples, or some other funny way. H H H H
1235 The Sound of Science Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune. 4 H
1234 It's incontestable Four weeks from now, the Empress will have just placed  her dainty imperial toe back on our glittering shores.  Which means that for the first time since January 2002,  almost 800 contests ago — back during the late reign of  her predecessor, the Czar — the Invitational will skip two  contests in a row. H
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H H
1231 TankaWanka 3: Haiku Plus Tu Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And at least two of the lines must rhyme. 2 H H H
1230 What in creation . . . ? Supply a brief monologue or dialogue about a Creator's specifications or planning for some living being. H H H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H H H H H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. H H H
1226 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 61 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents names. H
1225 The Ideas of March Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.) H
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. H
1223 Post again out to mislead public! Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24. 3 H L
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like 2 H H
1220 O pedantry, O pedantry Give us some humorous pedantry. H
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. L
1217 Mergers you wrote: Combine two businesses with puns Give a clever name for a combination of two or more businesses. H H
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" 4 H P
1214 The alternaugural address Write a humorous passage — a “quote,” an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything — using only words that appear in Trump’s inaugural address. H M
1213 Punku Write a haiku that incorporates a pun. H H
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1211 The best tweets in history Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional. 4 H H
1210 Send us the bill: Our 'joint legislation' game Combine two or more names from the provided list of members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1208 A RIP-roaring year: Obit poems Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2016. H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H H
1206 Do-over the do-over -- enter any of the year's contests Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1202, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H H
1205 Could we just have a do-over? Yes, we could. Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1201, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1204 Well, at least … Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration. H
1203 You've got the powers Tell us what you would do if you had one or more of the six magical powers provided. H
1202 Don't be afraid of the dark Write lyrics to a song that, in some way, express hope. H
1201 Tour de Fours XIII: What's there to NOVE? Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block N-O-V-E. W
1200 The definitive dozen Supply a word, name or multi-word term along with a wry definition or description; together, the term and description must total exactly 12 words. H H H
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. 3 H H
1196 Hyphen the Terrible Combine either half of a hyphenated word or compound term with either half of another such term to create a new hyphenated term, and describe the result humorously. 2 H H L
1195 Don't change a letter! Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result. H
1194 Nyetymologies: fake word origins Provide a humorously untrue explanation for the derivation of a word. H
1193 Poedtry Write a Poed, which consists of four lines: The first line contains six one-syllable words. The second line contains three two-syllable words. The third line contains two three-syllable words. The fourth line contains one six-syllable word (or a name totaling six syllables.  And at least two of the lines must rhyme. H
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  H
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle H
1190 You're workin' on a chain, gang Create a chain of no more than 15 proper nouns — names of people (real or fictional), products, places, etc. — including one title of a work — in which each H
1189 Gee, it's Limerixicon XIII! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ge'". H
1188 Just short words, one more time Explain some concept or philosophy entirely in words of one syllable. H H
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. H H
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H
1183 C'mon, be honest with us Write something in roughly the form "If X were more honest, (then) Y. 2 H H
1180 Strip search! Find a line of text from any comic strip or panel that appears on the Post's comics pages or on washingtonpost.com/comics, dated anywhere between June 16 and June 27, and either (a) supply a question that the original line could answer, or (b) follow it with your own line of dialogue or reply. 3 H H H
1179 Blasted alphabetical contests . . . Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C -- in any order -- and describe it. H H L
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H I
1177 The ballad box Write a song related to this year's elections, set to a familiar tune. H
1176 Let 'er RIP: Write and obit line Write a humorous line or two for someone's obituary -- either for a particular person (dead or not) or for a fictional or generic one. 2 H H L
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. H H W
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. H H H I
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H I
1168 Asterisky business Tell us an original joke whose punchline can't be understood without knowledge -- not necessarily scientific -- that most of us don't have (which you'll supply with a concise explanation). H W
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H
1166 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in text (not a headline) in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated March 10-21 and make up a question that the sentence could answer 2 H H H
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. 2 H H H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. 2 H
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H
1154 Tabby Road -- songs for cats Write a song for -- or about -- cats or other animals, set to a familiar tune. 3 H
1153 Be three-paired Choose two or more entities represented by a single three-letter combination from IAA through LZZ, found at the provided link, and say how they are alike or different or have some connection. H
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. 4 H
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. H H
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H H H
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H
1143 Ask Backwards Provided are 15 answers, separated by asterisks. You supply the questions. H H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. H
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. 3 H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H
1084 Limerixicon XI: Fi-, fo-, go! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "Fl-" through "fo-". H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1080 McGonagall with the windiness Memorialize a modern "tragedy" in a poem burdened with hilariously overwrought verse; lame, forced rhymes; and painfully uneven meter. Get the badness across in one verse of no more than eight lines. H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]