840 Frittering away the neurons Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form. L
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. 3
637 Full Steam Ahead Write a steamy passage of a novel that's ostensibly by some well-known person who isn't a novelist. H
625 Haven't Seen It Make up a new plot for an existing movie title. H
290 THE WORLD THEORIES Codify some of life's more populist theories. H H
283 UH-OH Come up with "uh-oh" lines, statements that occur in the middle of a seemingly benign speech or conversation, suddenly alerting the listener that he is about to hear some bad news. H
262 CAMPAIGN FOR ONE Design a line for Niels Hoven to deliver in his campaign for a student government office that will wake up a snoozing audience. H
261 WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY II Alter some crucial moment in history, and then tell us the likely outcome. H
181 YOU CAN TAKE IT TO DEBUNK Take a common slogan or saying and prove it wrong with at least one example. H
178 DEEP THROATS Come up with Deep Thoughts, in the style of Jack Handey of "Saturday Night Live." A Deep Thought is a short, simple, seemingly inspirational observation that winds up being cynical, ironic, or just plain weird. H
173 DEAD RECKONING Propose a question that might be asked by a living celebrity to a famous dead person. You must name the living person, name the dead person, and tell us the question. 2
138 LIST BUT NOT LEAST Come up with Top-10-style lists for any of the above four subjects. H
136 NEW END IN SIGHT Come up with new endings to make literary classics more suitable for Hollywood in the 1990s. 3
133 LIKE, WOW. Come up with funny analogies. H
87 WEST EASY, ANN Come up with good things about West Virginia, in 50 words of fewer. 4
78 SEEKING SMART MORONS Come up with an oxymoron for our times, an expression made bogus by the fact that it combines incompatible, contradictory ideas. 5
66 THE SON-OF-SMITH LAW In 50 words or fewer, what do we do about the Chuck Smith problem? H
63 BAD ABOUT YOU Come up with a lame idea for a Style Invitational contest, an idea destined to create unfunny results. H
62 BAD NEWS BEARERS Come up with statements one would not want to hear from friends, relatives, service personnel, etc. H
57 CALLING THE TOON Who are these people, and what are they doing? H
55 ESCAPE CLAUSES Send us self-serving moral loopholes through which the enterprising 1990s transgressor can crawl. 4
54 ODD COUPLING Write comical combinations of famous names, by marriage or other conceit. H
51 CAPTION CRUNCH, VOL. II Supply captions for any of these pictures. H
49 A SLALOM OCCASION Come up with events for a Washington Olympics. They can be winter or summer sports, based on bureaucracy or other themes peculiar to Washington, and must include a brief description of the event. H
41 READ-END COLLUSION Design a Style Invitational bumper sticker to be awarded to all Honorable Mentions. H
40 NOT WRONG. JUST INCORRECT. What's next on the political correctness agenda? W
39 WAY OUTSIDE THE LINES Name a new crayon color for the 1990s, with a description. H
36 SCAM ON WRY Come up with a prank you can play, for fun, profit, or deliverance of a well-needed comeuppance. 2
31 INVITATION TO A DUAL Divide the world into two types of people. L
30 THE RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD Interpret any of the provided ink blots. W
22 STUMP US Come up with slogans for the 1996 presidential campaign. L
20 COMIC RELIEF Rewrite 60-year-old cartoons, filling in your own balloons, to make them funnier and more timely. H
17 REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM Come up with an easy way to reduce the federal deficit, in 20 words or fewer. W H
16 I AM ADDICTED TO AN ASININE CONTEST. . . Come up with sleazy new topics for the daytime talks. H