This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know,

Key to Ink Types:

1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
306 YOUNGIAN THERAPY Suggest ways in which the Style Invitational or any other Washington area institution can become more relevant to younger people. P
292 PAYING THE BILL Propose appropriate punishments for President Clinton. H
270 PALINODE--HAVE PUN, WILL TRAVEL Write a "palinode", retracting something said in an earlier poem. Your poem must be four lines long and contain at least one rhyme. 1
252 MAKE YOUR MOVIE Propose people who were the secret inspiration for famous movies. H W
247 BLACK AND WHITE AND WED ALL OVER Propose the marriage of any two people, and the song they should not play at their wedding. The people must be a man and a woman. H
243 VERSE THAN EVER Write a rhyming poem of two to eight lines as a tribute to someone famous who died in 1997, the more awful the better. We will particularly value rhymes that thud, and extremes of emotion and sentiment. H W
242 SACRED COW PIES Take cheap shots at sacred institutions only, places and things that are so noble and wholesome they are beyond reproach, from among the items provided. W
238 CHALK IT UP TO STUPIDITY Propose apologies for yourself in the style of Bart Simpson writing on his blackboard. H
230 TALES FROM THE CRYPTOGRAM Take any proper noun--a person, a book, a movie, whatever--and create for it an appropriate cryptogram. H
229 WE CAN'T HEAR YOU Supply an example for any of the five "Things you don't want to hear" categories provided. H H
227 WILD PITCHES Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created to represent it. 2
214 ASK BACKWARDS IX You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions? H
203 CAN IT GET MUCH VERSE? Create Very Bad Poetry, containing banalities masquerading as profundities, overstretched metaphors, etc. Special attention should be paid to dreadful syntax and painful rhyme W
199 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items. 3 H
194 ADVICE SQUAD Answer any of the provided questions unwisely. H
193 ASK BACKWARDS VIII You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? 4
177 SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE Tell us what any of the provided sounds are. H
169 DIFF'RENT JOKES Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items. H
157 WARNING SIGNS Complete any of these "you might be about to" warning sentences. H
149 O, NO! Come up with a palindrome, a line that reads the same backward and forward, and then use it as a punchline to a joke. 4
141 ASK BACKWARD VII You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
136 NEW END IN SIGHT Come up with new endings to make literary classics more suitable for Hollywood in the 1990s. H


Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"


"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.

[still working on this ...]