PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ALEX STEELSMITH
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Choose any sentence (not a headline) in an article or ad in The Washington Post or another publication dated May 7 through May 18, and write a question it might humorously answer.
||Your wish: A pun -- a star
||Tell a joke, in your choice of form, whose punchline is a pun on a song title or lyric.
||H H H |
||Make your own March Madness
||Think of some sport, game, art project or other activity that you can conjure up using various items that you might find around the house.
||Get thee to a funnery
||Add a character (or more) to a Shakespeare play and supply some resulting dialogue.
||Mess With Our Heads
||Reinterpret an actual headline (or a major part of it) by adding a bank head, or subtitle.
||H H H |
||Versus' verses in a rap battle
||Write a mini-"rap" between any two characters, real or fictional, as in the provided ERB example.
||Trash talking, 1880-style
||Write a quatrain or -- heck -- two of Balliol rhyme about some person.
||The Tile Invitational VII
||Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]