||Pick me up at work, okay?
||Give a pickup line from someone in a particular profession, or from a particular person or fictional character.
||The lyin' in winter: Seasonal fictoids
||Give us some untrue trivia about winter or things that occur in winter.
||The inside word
||Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give the word a new meaning or description.
||As the Word turns 5: Taking our vowels
||"Discover" a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition.
||Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters
||Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet.
||Selected shortened subjects
||Delete one or more letters from the beginning or end (or both) of a movie title and describe the resulting movie.
||Botch office sensations
||Add "13" to an existing movie title, and some humorous trouble to the plot.
||Your results may vary
||Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service.
||H I |
||Mind your P's and B's (and more)
||Replace one or more P's in a word, name, or multi-word term with a B or with another letter and define or describe the results.
||Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries.
||Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia
||Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion.
||Don't be afraid of the dark
||Write lyrics to a song that, in some way, express hope.
||Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase.
||Opus 266, No. 3
||Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition.
||H H |
||Hurry Up and Slow Down!
||Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up.
||H I |
||You OED Us One
||Make up a humorous and false definition for any of the words listed below.
||Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other.
||Time-Wastes For Everyman
||Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time.
||Explain why you, or anyone else in particular, ought to have this fine oil-on-panel by Fred Dawson of Beltsville, or what it might be used for.
||Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word.
||Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal).
||Show Us Some Character
||Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it.
||The Little Bummer Boy
||Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis.
||Mess With Our Heads
||Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it.
||Come up with a comical college class, along with a description for the course catalog.
||Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with bd- through bl-.
||Best the Best
||Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name.
||Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions.
||H I |
||Contest Fodder Created!
||Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events.
||The News Could be Verse
||Translate the fine prose of Washington Post articles into verse. Choose any article appearing in The Post of on its Web site from April 17 through April 25.
||Take one or two of the 50 chapters of the KJV Book of Genesis and draw thou from them, using words in the order in which they appear in the original, your own passage.
||We Got Gamy
||Offer us a concise idea for a Super Bowl commercial, or some innovative halftime entertainment, or some inappropriate sponsors, or some ideas for improving the game itself.
||Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!)
||Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it.
||H H |
||Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings.
||Boor Us Silly
||Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences.
||Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-.
||H H |
||A Tour de Fours
||Create and define a word that includes T, H, E, and S in any order. The letters must appear consecutively.
||A Running Gag
||Explain how any of the provided bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign.
||Anthem Is as Anthem Does
||Give us a verse for an alternative U.S. national anthem, set to any well-known tune.
||H H |
||Redefine any word from the dictionary.
||H H |
||The LMNs of Style
||Write a funny sentence (or more) that you spell with only the sounds of the names of letters and those of numbers 1 through 9.
||Deform of a Question
||Take any sentence appearing in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com today through June 14, and make up a question to which the sentence could be an answer.
||The 97.5-Meter Dash
||Suggest some time- and cost-saving measures so the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens will open on time.
||Oh, for Namesakes!
||Take two people, real or fictional, who share some element of their names and explain the difference between them.
||A Tsk, A Task
||Come up with a super-wholesome passage of 25 words or fewer that would likely be banned by the admirable, ever-vigilant Neopets.com site.
||Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies.
||You Gotta Have Heart
||Write us some valentine sentiments from one particular person (real or fictional) to another.
||Celled Up the River
||Give us a delicious scenario, in which a cellphone yakker's yakking could be taken profitably out of context.
||Pay tribute in verse to someone who died in 2003.
||The New York Post
||Liven up any article appearing in The Washington Post or its Web site over the next eight days by giving it an irresponsibly sensationalistic headline.
||H H H |
||And the Horse He Rodin On
||Come up with some words we can stick in the back of The Inker.
||The Feminine Touch
||Propose how any male-dominated occupation or institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated.
||H H |
||You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?
||H H |
||Answer any of the provided questions.
||Around Things Moving
||Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about.
||Hard to Overstate
||Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be.
||H H |
||Say, Kids, What Time Is It?
||Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: "You know it's time to ------ when ------."
||Insert Joke Here
||Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter.
||Spit the Difference
||Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.
||Haiku 2 U2
||Write a haiku summarizing the career of any American politician, living or dead. A haiku is generally defined as a nonrhyming poem, of three lines. The first and last lines are five syllables; the middle line is seven.
||Blues It or Lose It
||Write the first verse of a blues song expressing some Washington area woe.
||Roling With Laughter
||Take a character from one movie, use him or her to replace a character in a second movie, and then explain how this change would affect the second movie.