PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR HEATHER SPENCE
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
||Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters
||Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet.
||Let's get Sirius
||Suggest a new radio channel and describe it.
||Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different.
||Create a good-bad-ugly progression.
||Weather or nuts
||Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it.
||Just redo it
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046.
||You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like.
||H H H |
||Songs for the asking
||Take a sentence, phrase or title from a song and provide a funny question it might answer.
||Play it safe
||Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere.
||IRS my case
||Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.
Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person past or present might like to take.
Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.
||Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc.
||Overlap dance II
||Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]