PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR STEVE "POTOMAC" SMITH

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1404 Ask Backwards XXXIX The answers are provided. You supply the questions. P
1400 Back on track with our classic 'foal' contest "Breed" any two of the provided names of the 100 horses nominated for the 2020 Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to humorously reflect the parents' names. P
1399 The lie-zy days of summer Tell us some bogus trivia about the summer or things that happen or have happened in the summer. H
1397 Trope springs eternal Use any of the four provided standard settings -- (a) desert island, (b) bartender at a bar, (c) desert, (d) psychiatrist next to a couch -- and describe a cartoon that includes your choice of characters, along with a caption. 3
1395 Add nauseam: A plus-one contest Add a "plus one" to some familiar numerical grouping, true or fictional H
1393 Second chance (acned conches?) for anagrams Describe any of the provided anagram businesses, or offer its slogan. 4
1392 Picture this -- caption these cartoons Write a caption, either descriptive or in dialogue, for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons. H H
1391 No-covid zone -- a neologism contest Coin a new word or phrase that lacks C, O, V, I and D and describe it. H H
1390 'Same difference' for a new time Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. H H
1387 Movie clips -- drop letters from the middle of a title Delete one or more letters (they must be consecutive) from the middle of a movie title, and describe the resulting new movie. H
1386 Colt following: It's the grandfoals! "Breed" any two of the 70 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1385 Don't you want to see new places? Change any place name slightly and describe the new place. H H
1384 Of course there are stupid questions! Give us stupid questions, especially ones reflecting Our Current Situation. H
1383 Questionable Journalism Choose any sentence (not a headline) in an article or ad in The Washington Post or another publication dated May 7 through May 18, and write a question it might humorously answer. H H
1382 For us, it's still Post Time "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 of the 145 previous Kentucky Derby winners, from 1875 to 2019, and name the foal to humorously reflect the parents' names. H
1381 Let's be equinoxious with fictoids about spring Tell us some untrue trivia about springtime or things that happen or happened in the spring. H
1380 Both sides now Delete one or more letters (in a row) from a word or brief phrase to find another word, and define it. L
1379 Your wish: A pun -- a star Tell a joke, in your choice of form, whose punchline is a pun on a song title or lyric. H
1378 It's (emergency) Parody Time Write a song about life in the Age of Corona, set to a familiar tune (or even one of your own, if you perform it on video). H
1377 Make your own March Madness Think of some sport, game, art project or other activity that you can conjure up using various items that you might find around the house. H H H
1375 Mess With Our Heads Reinterpret an actual headline (or a major part of it) by adding a bank head, or subtitle. H
1374 Versus' verses in a rap battle Write a mini-"rap" between any two characters, real or fictional, as in the provided ERB example. 2 H H
1369 Shoot us some oops Tell us a concise original joke that revolves around a typo or misheard word. P
1368 Picture This -- cartoon captions Supply a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1363 The Year in Redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1334 through Week 1359. H
1360 The lyin' in winter: Seasonal fictoids Give us some untrue trivia about winter or things that occur in winter. H H
1355 The inside word Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give the word a new meaning or description. H
1351 What concept will you be for Halloween? Give us a creative, clever idea for a timely Halloween costume (for one or more people) or an idea for a party or other activity. You may even send us a photo of an actual new costume you've created this year. H H H
1348 Same difference Explain humorously how any two or more of the provided items are alike, different or otherwise connected. H H
1347 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the provided Loser-concocted words and phrases, and/or show they'd be used. 2
1346 AZ if -- balancing acts Think of a new word or two-word phrase that begins and ends -- either way -- with one of the provided "alphabetically balanced" pairs. H H W
1345 The confaketionary -- food fictoids Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining. H
1341 Portmanteautapping from E to R Coin a portmanteau word beginning with E through R, in which the words overlap by at least two letters, and describe it. H
1339 Songs for a modern error Write humorous lyrics about some modern woe, set to a familiar tune. H
1336 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H
1334 Mull 'er over: A search for collision Combine any two words, names, abbreviations, etc., from anywhere in the redacted Mueller report, in a two-word or hyphenated phrase and define it. H W
1329 Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet. H
1328 Hooked on 'classic': a do-over Summarize a book or play by any author, or retell a scene (or even a moment) from one, in the style of some other person. H
1327 Mess with our (or anyone's) heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline (or a big part of a headline) by writing a bank head, or subtitle. L
1326 Foaling around "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. 3

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]