PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JEFF SHIRLEY

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1282 Picture This Write a caption for one or more of the provided pictures. H
1281 We only have (googly) eyes for you Send us a photo of something that you have made funny by pasting googly eyes on it; funny titles and captions are optional. H
1278 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 68 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names, in the style of today's inking entries. H
1277 Come into Beeing with neologisms From any of the 15 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term of one or two words and define it humorously. You may also supply an especially clever or funny definition of a real term. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. H
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H H
1271 Yodel Doyle's praises with a D-O-Y-L-E neologism Coin a new word or phrase that contains the letters D, O, Y, L and E. H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. H H
1268 Playing pinocchio Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries. H H H
1266 The Tile Invitational V Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it. H
1263 Playing the short game Using the three-letter Olympic national abbreviations and/or the abbreviation for any college, tell what would happen if one abbreviated team played another. H H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. 2 H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H H H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. 3 H
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H
1250 Poems of the year(s) Write a humorous poem incorporating three or more terms from a particular year or era listed on Time Traveler. I
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. P
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.)  Coin a three­word phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. H I
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. H H H I
1225 The Ideas of March Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.) H
1223 Post again out to mislead public! Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24. H H H H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H H
1217 Mergers you wrote: Combine two businesses with puns Give a clever name for a combination of two or more businesses. H
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" W
1210 Send us the bill: Our 'joint legislation' game Combine two or more names from the provided list of members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1205 Could we just have a do-over? Yes, we could. Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1201, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1201 Tour de Fours XIII: What's there to NOVE? Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block N-O-V-E. 3
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H H
1179 Blasted alphabetical contests . . . Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C -- in any order -- and describe it. H H I
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. 4
1176 Let 'er RIP: Write and obit line Write a humorous line or two for someone's obituary -- either for a particular person (dead or not) or for a fictional or generic one. M
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. 3 H H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H H
1172 Pieces of 'Pie' Write a short passage -- an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything -- using only words that appear in the song "American Pie". 2 H H H H I
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. H T
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1168 Asterisky business Tell us an original joke whose punchline can't be understood without knowledge -- not necessarily scientific -- that most of us don't have (which you'll supply with a concise explanation). H
1166 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in text (not a headline) in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated March 10-21 and make up a question that the sentence could answer H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. W
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1156 Dead letters Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2015. T
1153 Be three-paired Choose two or more entities represented by a single three-letter combination from IAA through LZZ, found at the provided link, and say how they are alike or different or have some connection. 4
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. H
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. H
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. M
1147 It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. W
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. H M
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. M
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. P
1135 The meter's running Suggest actions in daily life that should require a time limit -- maximum or minimum -- and come with an appropriate penalty for running over (or under). H T
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H H H M
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. H H
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H W
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. H
1123 The Tile Invitational III Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets. 2 H H
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H H H
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked. H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. 2 H
1114 Awww together now Write us a humorous headline -- from the past, present, or future -- that puts an optimistic perspective on some otherwise not-so-promising news. H H H M
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H T
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H H H H M
1108 Hearts of dorkness Write a humorous Valentine's Day sentiment to someone (or to some organization), either real or fictional -- either from you or from someone else you name. Plus an all-new option: We'll also be willing to run at least one really funny, clever, well-executed graphic. H M T
1106 Show your resolve Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future. H H
1104 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- — see the links at bit.ly/abbrevs-e-h — and say how they are alike or different. H
1103 Themes good enough for us Suggest an existing song to be used as the theme for a TV series or program for comic effect. H H
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. H
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. 4
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". H
1095 TankaWanka! Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. 4 H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. H
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
H
1084 Limerixicon XI: Fi-, fo-, go! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "Fl-" through "fo-". H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H H
1080 McGonagall with the windiness Memorialize a modern "tragedy" in a poem burdened with hilariously overwrought verse; lame, forced rhymes; and painfully uneven meter. Get the badness across in one verse of no more than eight lines. 3
1078 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of any hyphenated word or compound term with one side of another word to make a new hyphenated term, and define it humorously. Both halves must appear in the same issue of The Post or another print newspaper, or in writing published the same day on washingtonpost.com or another online publication. H
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). 4
1075 Falsity is Job One Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff. 3 H
1074 Let's go parody-hopping Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical. H
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H
1068 An iffy proposition Suggest some humorous action that you would take if you were in someone's position, more or less in the form "If I were _____ my first act would be _____." 2
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H H H
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. M
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase of name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. H H
1054 Dead letters Write a short, humorous poem commemorating someone (or maybe even something) who died in 2013. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H
1046 Derive us crazy Offer a bogus but funny explanation of how a particular expression originated. H H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H
1039 Shookespeare Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage. 3 H H
1032 Hid stuff Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer. 4 W
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. 3
1028 Joint Legiflation Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". H
1026 'Might' makes ink Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates. H
1025 In so many words Create an original backronym for a name or other term, especially one that's been in the news lately. H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H
1017 Vowel play Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout. H
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. H
1010 Picture this Write a caption for any of the five provided cartoons. H
1005 Send us the bill Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or more of the 98 new House and Senate members provided. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]