PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BEVERLEY SHARP

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. H
1271 Yodel Doyle's praises with a D-O-Y-L-E neologism Coin a new word or phrase that contains the letters D, O, Y, L and E. H H H M
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
3 H
1265 Parody for the course Write a song relating to a class or course of instruction, or to school in general. H
1263 Playing the short game Using the three-letter Olympic national abbreviations and/or the abbreviation for any college, tell what would happen if one abbreviated team played another. H H
1261 Post mortems -- our annual obit poem contest Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2017. 4 H T
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H H T
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. H
1253 Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion. H
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H H H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1250 Poems of the year(s) Write a humorous poem incorporating three or more terms from a particular year or era listed on Time Traveler. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1246 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or another publication, in print or online, dated Sept. 21-Oct. 2, and pair it with a question it might answer. H H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H H H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. H
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H H
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.)  Coin a three­word phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. H
1236 Portmanteaux faux Explain--inaccurately but amusingly--how a real word is a combination of two or more words, with an illustrative sentence, as in the provided examples, or some other funny way. H
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H
1231 TankaWanka 3: Haiku Plus Tu Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And at least two of the lines must rhyme. H H
1230 What in creation . . . ? Supply a brief monologue or dialogue about a Creator's specifications or planning for some living being. H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. H
1225 The Ideas of March Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.) H
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. T
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H
1220 O pedantry, O pedantry Give us some humorous pedantry. H
1218 Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H H
1213 Punku Write a haiku that incorporates a pun. H H
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. 2
1211 The best tweets in history Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional. H
1208 A RIP-roaring year: Obit poems Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2016. H H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1205 Could we just have a do-over? Yes, we could. Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1201, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1204 Well, at least … Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration. 4
1202 Don't be afraid of the dark Write lyrics to a song that, in some way, express hope. H
1201 Tour de Fours XIII: What's there to NOVE? Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block N-O-V-E. H T
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. H
1198 Give it to us straight Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication dated Oct. 20 to Oct. 31 — or from an online article dated within that period — and translate it into “plain English,” H
1196 Hyphen the Terrible Combine either half of a hyphenated word or compound term with either half of another such term to create a new hyphenated term, and describe the result humorously. H
1195 Don't change a letter! Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result. H
1193 Poedtry Write a Poed, which consists of four lines: The first line contains six one-syllable words. The second line contains three two-syllable words. The third line contains two three-syllable words. The fourth line contains one six-syllable word (or a name totaling six syllables.  And at least two of the lines must rhyme. H H H
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  3
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle H
1190 You're workin' on a chain, gang Create a chain of no more than 15 proper nouns — names of people (real or fictional), products, places, etc. — including one title of a work — in which each H
1189 Gee, it's Limerixicon XIII! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ge'". M
1188 Just short words, one more time Explain some concept or philosophy entirely in words of one syllable. H
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H H
1183 C'mon, be honest with us Write something in roughly the form "If X were more honest, (then) Y. H
1181 Put it in Bee-verse Write a short, humorous poem using one of the 36 provided words, all from the 2016 National Spelling Bee. 3 H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H H
1176 Let 'er RIP: Write and obit line Write a humorous line or two for someone's obituary -- either for a particular person (dead or not) or for a fictional or generic one. H
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. 3
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. M
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. M
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. M
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. M
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H
1159 It's all in the game Come up with a funny/ridiculous board-type game and describe it. M
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1156 Dead letters Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2015. H P
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H T
1154 Tabby Road -- songs for cats Write a song for -- or about -- cats or other animals, set to a familiar tune. H
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. H
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. H
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. 3 H
1147 It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H M
1143 Ask Backwards Provided are 15 answers, separated by asterisks. You supply the questions. H
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1139 A little sixty-four play Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii). H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. M
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". H H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H H H
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H H
1129 Right in the pampootie Write a humorous short poem (eight lines or fewer) incorporating one of the 50 provided words. H
1127 From the creators of … Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue. M
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. M
1124 Heed! Indeed: Advice verse Write one of the provided reminders as a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer. H
1123 The Tile Invitational III Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets. H H H
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H
1121 The an(n)als of civilization Briefly describe some "bad day in history" -- you may be creative in what you classify as such -- and sum it up with a humorous heading. H
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked. H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. H H
1117 You got another sing coming Write a song about a topic or person lately in the news, set to a familiar tune. H H
1115 Our type o' headline Change a headline in an article or ad in the Washington Post and then add a "bank head" or subtitle. H
1114 Awww together now Write us a humorous headline -- from the past, present, or future -- that puts an optimistic perspective on some otherwise not-so-promising news. M
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H H M
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H H H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H
1108 Hearts of dorkness Write a humorous Valentine's Day sentiment to someone (or to some organization), either real or fictional -- either from you or from someone else you name. Plus an all-new option: We'll also be willing to run at least one really funny, clever, well-executed graphic. H
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H H
1106 Show your resolve Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future. 2 H H
1105 A lit obit of fun Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2014. 4 T
1104 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- — see the links at bit.ly/abbrevs-e-h — and say how they are alike or different. H
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. H M
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. H
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H H W
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". T
1096 Picture this Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoon. H H H
1095 TankaWanka! Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H H M
1092 Are we having funds yet? Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization. 4 H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. 2
1089 It's E-Z Find-a-Word -- your own! Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H M
1087 The core ridiculum Come up with a comical class (any type of school) and provide a course catalog description. M
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
T
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. T
1084 Limerixicon XI: Fi-, fo-, go! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "Fl-" through "fo-". H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. 2 H H H
1080 McGonagall with the windiness Memorialize a modern "tragedy" in a poem burdened with hilariously overwrought verse; lame, forced rhymes; and painfully uneven meter. Get the badness across in one verse of no more than eight lines. H
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). H
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. 2 H H
1074 Let's go parody-hopping Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical. M
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. H
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H
1069 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem of no more than eight lines -- it doesn't have to rhyme -- using only the top 1,000 words on Wiktionary.org's list of the most common among 20 million words found in movie and TV scripts. 4 H
1068 An iffy proposition Suggest some humorous action that you would take if you were in someone's position, more or less in the form "If I were _____ my first act would be _____." 3
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. T
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. 2 H H H H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. H H T
1063 Same difference Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different. H
1062 Scanning the headlines Write a rhyming poem about something currently in the news. H H H
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. W
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. 3
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase of name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. H H
1053 Questionable journalism Quote an actual sentence, from The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com, or another print or online publication dated between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6, and follow it with a question that the sentence might answer. H M
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H H
1051 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news. H
1050 Just redo it Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046. H H P
1049 Be rating Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. H H
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H H
1043 Rechanneling celebrity Describe a TV reality show featuring a celebrity pursuing some unlikely endeavor. M
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. M T
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

L
1039 Shookespeare Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage. H L
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. H H T
1035 The Empy 500 Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". H
1032 Hid stuff Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer. M
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H T
1030 The cinquain feeling Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two. H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. 2 H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H H H
1026 'Might' makes ink Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates. 4 T
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. H M
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H H H
1022 What's the diff? Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different. H H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H H
1019 What a turnoff Tell us some creative things that children and families could do during Screen-Free Week. T
1018 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time. T
1017 Vowel play Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout. T
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H M
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. H H
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. H T
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. H H
1012 The news at 5 Write a limerick about a recent news event. H H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H H H M
1010 Picture this Write a caption for any of the five provided cartoons. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. T
1004 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. H H
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H
998 Set the law on us Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world. H W
997 Unworthy causes Name a dubious charity and describe its mission. H H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. P
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H
994 Stick it to us Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. 2 H
993 Versus, verses Write a short "rap battle" between any two characters, real or fictional. 2 H H H
991 Tour de Fours IX Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block V, O, T, and E and define it. H H H
990 Indecent relations Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair. H H M
989 On the double Come up with a double or multiple profession, and explain how each job complements the other(s). H H H M
988 A faster break Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting. H
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H M
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H M M W
984 Another brilliant contest Write something whose words begin with consecutive letters of the alphabet. H M
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H H H
982 The parody line Set your own, humorous words to the tune of a well-known song--except that you must preserve one of the original lines. H L
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H H
979 The madding crowd Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off. M
978 A reason to rhyme the news Write a short verse about something that's been in the news recently. 4 H H H H
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. 4 H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. H
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. H H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H M
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
968 Take us for grants Come up with a proposal to the National Science Foundation or other research-funding organization for a study based on a stupid hypothesis. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H H H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H
964 The Grossery Bag? Suggest a design and/or slogan to go on the side of the ardently desired Style Invitational Loser Bag. H
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H H H P
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. L
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H
957 Fearful Symmetry Write a clever passage who successive words are on letter longer until the middle of the passage, and then become one letter shorter. H
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H T
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H
954 Bring on the 'fight' jokes Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.” H
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H H
952 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011. H H H
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. H
950 Of all the nerve! Give us a humorous example of hypothetical chutzpah. H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." T
948 Look back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 94 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). H T
947 Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it. T
945 Laugh-baked ideas Cleverly depict a person, event or phenomenon of the 21st century — real history as well as scenes from movies, books, videos, etc. — using edible materials, and send us a photo of your creation. H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H
942 Singular ideas Give us an idea for a contest for which there's likely only one good entry. W
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H H
940 Our type o' headline Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead). H L
938 Free and Lear Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines. H
936 Hoho contendere Slightly alter a well-known foreign-language term and define it. H
935 The 400 blows Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event. H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H H
933 Stories that count (to 56) Write a humorous story in exactly 56 words. P
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. H
929 Now sit right back ... Write a funny song introducing a TV show, past or present. H
927 Drive-By Shoutings Write a very short four-line “poem” promoting a product or company, or offering advice to drivers; the poem must rhyme, in ABAB or ABCB rhyme scheme. A fifth, non-rhyming line may state the product name or a conclusion. T W
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. P
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H
921 Give Us Willies Write an original Little Willie poem, perhaps reflecting our current era. This is a venerable four-line genre in which Master W. does some nasty thing and doesn't tend to learn to be a Good Boy by poem's end. 2 H
920 Sarchiasm Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect. 2 H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. M
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H H H L
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. 3 H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. 4 H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. H
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H
909 Reprizing Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination. 3 L
907 Naming rite Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one. L
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H M
903 Bill us now Combine the names of two or more members of Congress as co-sponsors of a bill. H
902 What's the good news? Take any sentence, or substantive part of a sentence, or a headline from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Jan. 7 to Jan. 18 and make it sound upbeat (or not so bad). M
901 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010. 4 H H
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. 2 H M
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
897 Catch their drift Take any sentence from an article of ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English." H T
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H H H
892 Get a move on Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish. 4
891 Mirror, Mirror Write a word-palindrome sentence, in which the first and last words are the same; the second and next-to-last, etc. H H M
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. H T
889 Tour de Fours VII Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters P, O, L and E. H
887 Plus-Fours Write a limerick whose third or fourth line is one of those listed above. H
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." L
884 Rekindling the spork Combine two devices or other products to make a new one. H
883 Same difference Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other. H
882 Limerixicon VII Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters dr-. H
881 What's in a name? Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. H H H
880 Our greatest hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H H M
879 Say Venn Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram. H H P
877 Quipped from the headlines Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news. 2 H
876 Oilies but goodies Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune. H H H
875 Fail Us Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage. H H H
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. 3 H H T
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H H
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H P
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. H
862 Be cheerful Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team or any national team. H
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. H H M
860 Ten, Anyone? Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words. H
859 Can't goods Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above. W
857 All FED Up Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet. H
856 Titled Puerility Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never by published. H
855 The news could be verse Sum up an article (or even an ad!) in any Washington Post print or online edition from Feb. 6 through Feb. 15 in verse. H H H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. H
852 Small, Let's get Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. H H H H P
851 Going to the shrink Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it. H
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H H
848 Up and addin' Compose a humorous rhopalic sentence (or multiple sentences) in which each word is one letter longer than the previous word. 2 H H L
847 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from Dec. 11 through Dec. 21 and come up with a question it might answer. H H H L
845 Reologisms Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. H H
844 Healthy choice Enter any Style Invitational from Week 790 through Week 840, except for Week 793 and Week 798. P
843 Prefrains Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song. H H M
842 Ask backwards Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please. H H
840 Frittering away the neurons Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form. 4
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. H
837 Strip Search Combine two comic strips that appear in The Washington Post or at washingtonpost.com/comics and describe the results. H
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. P
834 Fractured Compounds Combine two full words within any single article appearing in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com into a hyphenated compound word, and define or otherwise describe the result. H L
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H H M
830 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. M T W
827 Caller Idiot Name a real product or company and supply a stupid question or complaint for the consumer hotline person. H M
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. 3 H T
825 Disinstrumentals Write some words to music that has no words. M
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. H
822 For Real Folks Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife. M T
821 Spit the Difference How are any of the items on the list above alike or different? M
820 Be Mister Language Person Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer. 3 H M
818 Name the Day Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan. H P
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. H
816 Googillions Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search. H P
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. H
813 Aw, Shocks Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not." H
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." H
811 Rock-Bottom Lines Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse. H T
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. P
808 Take Us At Our Words Create a humorous poem or other writing using only the words contained in this week's Style Invitational column or results. H H H T
807 Pretty Graphic Expressions Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). P
804 Our Type o' Joke Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it. 3 H H H H H
803 The Pepys Show Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history. H H H
802 Dreck TV Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming. H M T
801 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions. H
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. H H
799 Send Us the Bill Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together. H P
798 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008. H H
797 Be Resolute Make a humorous resolution for some particular person or institution to accomplish next year. T
796 Sincerest Flattery Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote. H
795 Stimulate Us Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on. H
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H T
790 If Only! Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred. H
789 Doctrine in The House? State a humorous, original "doctrine" for a person or other entity. H
788 The Back End of a Bulwer Give us a comically terrible ending of a novel. M
787 Tour de Fours V Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters M, N and E. H
785 The Ballad Box Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune. H
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. H
781 Our Greatest Hit Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose tow adjacent letters; and define the new word. 4 H T
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. H
779 Gripe for the Picking Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post. H
778 Tied Games Combine any two sports or nonathletic activities into a single sport or game. H
777 Limerixicon 5 Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-. H H
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H H
774 Tour De Forks Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it. H
772 Make It Simile, Stupid Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. H T
771 Groaner's Manuals Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization. H H T W
770 A Knack for Anachronism Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age. H H
767 Questionable Journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer. H W
766 Think to Shudder Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above. H
765 It's Doo-Dah Day Write humorous lyrics commemorating any of the 50 states of the District, set to any of these Stephen Foster songs. H H H
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. 3
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H H
761 Strip Mining Supply the text for any or all three of these Bob Staake comic strips. M
758 Wrong Address Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage. H
757 Gorey Thoughts From A to Z Send us some rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H
756 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
755 Take Another 'Whack Send us a phrase of two or more words that produces exactly one Web page on the Google search engine and describe the phrase. T
754 Canny Similarities Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above. H
753 Hot Off The Riddle Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer. P
752 The Might-Mates Right Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates. H
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H H
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. W
744 You OED Us One Make up a humorous and false definition for any of the words listed below. H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
740 Give Us a Hint Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well. H
738 So What's To Liken? Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar. H
737 No River, No Woods Send us a funny parody of a well-known song, with lyrics that commemorate an occasion other than Christmas or Hanukkah. H T
734 Turnaround Time Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other. 3 H H
729 Otherwordly Visions Take any sentence in an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 1 through Sept. 10 and translate it into "plain English." H
724 Abridged Too Far Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines. H H
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H
718 Put Our Heads Together Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com) H
716 The Hard Spell Write a humorous poem featuring one of the 75 words we've selected from this year's National Spelling Bee. H H
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. W
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. H
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H H
701 Untitlement Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about? 2
697 We Beg You To Differ Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar. 3
696 Send Us the Bill Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together. H H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H
693 Everything Being Sequel Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie. H
689 Busted Play Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket. H
683 What a Piece of Work String together words in a single scene, or two consecutive scenes, of "Hamlet" to produce on or more funny sentences, preferably unrelated to the original content. The words must appear in the order in which they appear in the play. 3
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
604 Fun for the Roses Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]