PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ROBERT SCHECHTER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1282 Picture This Write a caption for one or more of the provided pictures. H
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. H
1276 What 4? A limerick contest Use a limerick using one of the provided lines as Line 5. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H H
1268 Playing pinocchio Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries. W
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H H
1261 Post mortems -- our annual obit poem contest Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2017. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H H
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1253 Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. 3 H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. 3
1226 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 61 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents names. H
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H H H
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. 2 H
1193 Poedtry Write a Poed, which consists of four lines: The first line contains six one-syllable words. The second line contains three two-syllable words. The third line contains two three-syllable words. The fourth line contains one six-syllable word (or a name totaling six syllables.  And at least two of the lines must rhyme. 2
1190 You're workin' on a chain, gang Create a chain of no more than 15 proper nouns — names of people (real or fictional), products, places, etc. — including one title of a work — in which each H
1189 Gee, it's Limerixicon XIII! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ge'". H
1187 Just drop it, okay? Drop the last letter from an existing word, phrase or name and define the result. H
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. H H
1181 Put it in Bee-verse Write a short, humorous poem using one of the 36 provided words, all from the 2016 National Spelling Bee. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. H
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H
1147 It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H H
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". 2
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H H
1133 Are 'hew ready? A contest for clerihews A clerihew is a humorous four-line rhyming poem about a person whose name is mentioned in the first line; in fact, the name must be at the end of that line (or constitute the whole line) so that it has to rhyme with something. The rhyme structure (and we don't want "lazy" rhymes) is AABB: the first line rhymes with the second, the third with the fourth. 2 H H H
1124 Heed! Indeed: Advice verse Write one of the provided reminders as a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer. H H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. H
1117 You got another sing coming Write a song about a topic or person lately in the news, set to a familiar tune. H
1116 Punning in place Create a new term using only the letters in a place name. You don't have to use all the letters, but you can't use a letter more often than it appears in the word. H
1114 Awww together now Write us a humorous headline -- from the past, present, or future -- that puts an optimistic perspective on some otherwise not-so-promising news. 2 H
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. 2
1105 A lit obit of fun Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2014. H
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. H H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H
1080 McGonagall with the windiness Memorialize a modern "tragedy" in a poem burdened with hilariously overwrought verse; lame, forced rhymes; and painfully uneven meter. Get the badness across in one verse of no more than eight lines. H
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). H
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. H
1075 Falsity is Job One Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff. H H W
1069 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem of no more than eight lines -- it doesn't have to rhyme -- using only the top 1,000 words on Wiktionary.org's list of the most common among 20 million words found in movie and TV scripts. H
1068 An iffy proposition Suggest some humorous action that you would take if you were in someone's position, more or less in the form "If I were _____ my first act would be _____." H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. H
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1057 Sportin' lie Give us some fake sports trivia. 4
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H H
1049 Be rating Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. H
1046 Derive us crazy Offer a bogus but funny explanation of how a particular expression originated. H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". H H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H
1030 The cinquain feeling Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two. H H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. H H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H
1026 'Might' makes ink Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates. H H
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. H
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H H H H
1017 Vowel play Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout. H H H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. H H
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. H H H
1012 The news at 5 Write a limerick about a recent news event. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H H P W
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. H
1006 It's a ... a ... Create a new superhero (or due) and describe the superpower, or not-very-superpower. H
1005 Send us the bill Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or more of the 98 new House and Senate members provided. H
1004 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. H H W
1003 Just do it Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect. H
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition from any other the listed OED words. H
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. H H H H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H H H
998 Set the law on us Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world. H
997 Unworthy causes Name a dubious charity and describe its mission. H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. H
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H H H
993 Versus, verses Write a short "rap battle" between any two characters, real or fictional. H H
990 Indecent relations Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair. W
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H H H
984 Another brilliant contest Write something whose words begin with consecutive letters of the alphabet. H H
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H L
982 The parody line Set your own, humorous words to the tune of a well-known song--except that you must preserve one of the original lines. H T
981 Feeling testy Write a question that "ought to" be on a qualifying test for a particular job. H
979 The madding crowd Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off. H
978 A reason to rhyme the news Write a short verse about something that's been in the news recently. 2 H
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. W
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. 4 H H H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. H H I
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H H I
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
968 Take us for grants Come up with a proposal to the National Science Foundation or other research-funding organization for a study based on a stupid hypothesis. W
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H H
966 Inkremental change Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H T
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. H
959 Out of network Move a current or former TV program (or type of programming) to a different network and explain what would change. H H
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H
957 Fearful Symmetry Write a clever passage who successive words are on letter longer until the middle of the passage, and then become one letter shorter. H
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H
954 Bring on the 'fight' jokes Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.” 4 H
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
952 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011. H
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. L
950 Of all the nerve! Give us a humorous example of hypothetical chutzpah. 2 H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." H
948 Look back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 94 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). H H
946 Another round of Bierce Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term. 3 H H
944 Uh, yeah, it's just you Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions. H H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H H
938 Free and Lear Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines. 3 H
936 Hoho contendere Slightly alter a well-known foreign-language term and define it. 4 H
935 The 400 blows Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event. H
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. 2 H H
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]