PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BARB SARSHIK
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 1: 1st Runner-Up; rarely seen now, last awarded to Jon Dixon in Week 792.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||It's parody time: Oldies for newsies
||Write some song lyrics about something in the news these days, set to a familiar tune.
||The Sound of Science
||Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune.
||The ballad box
||Write a song related to this year's elections, set to a familiar tune.
||3 H |
||Tabby Road -- songs for cats
||Write a song for -- or about -- cats or other animals, set to a familiar tune.
||You got another sing coming
||Write a song about a topic or person lately in the news, set to a familiar tune.
||3 H |
||Let's go parody-hopping
||Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical.
||Scanning the headlines
||Write a rhyming poem about something currently in the news.
||Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.
||2 H |
||A Banner Week
||Write entirely new, humorous lyrics to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”; they can be on any subject.
||Oilies but goodies
||Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune.
||The Inside Word
||Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word.
||H H |
||The Ballad Box
||Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune.
||H H H W |
||Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-.
||No River, No Woods
||Send us a funny parody of a well-known song, with lyrics that commemorate an occasion other than Christmas or Hanukkah.
||2 H H |
||Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-.
||Ticket to Write
||Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song.
||A Test of Character
||Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar.
||Across the Wide What?
||Give us some Virginia-appropriate lyrics for "Shenandoah."
||1 H |
||A Song From Tex Arcana
||Write a verse of a song about sea urchin sushi or any of the other provided ostensibly unlyrical topics.
||3 H |
||Of D.C. I Sing
||Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune.
||H W |
||It's Parody Time
||Offer, in the holiday spirit of goodwill, some advice--as constructive and unifying as Loserly suggestions always are--to our nation's leaders (or the loyal opposition) as we prepare for the next four years. This advice will be set to the tune of some winter holiday song, either religious or secular.
||H H H H W |
||Anthem Is as Anthem Does
||Give us a verse for an alternative U.S. national anthem, set to any well-known tune.
||1 H H H H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]