WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	INK Types
1618	Week 100!	...which we celebrate with a centennial contest	H
1596	History for the tl;dr Crowd	Sum up an event for the 21st-century reader in a rhyming couplet.	H
1578	The Pepys Show	Give us a diary entry from anyone in history.	H
1561	Let It Be a Lesson to Us	Tell us some things to be learned from Costco, the bathroom, TV shows, etc.	H
1518	The final Post edition	Some all-time favorite entries	H
1505	Munici-pals	Choose any two or more real U.S. or Canadian towns — they need to show up on a Google search — and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake.	H
1436	Haven't seen it: Fun with movie titles	Misinterpret a movie title in a supposed plot description.	H
1427	Rocky of ages, or Badenov for you?	State any historical event -- right up to 2021 -- in the provided "A, or B" format.	H
1346	AZ if -- balancing acts	Think of a new word or two-word phrase that begins and ends -- either way -- with one of the provided "alphabetically balanced" pairs.	H
1345	The confaketionary -- food fictoids	Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining.	H H
1337	Lidder me this: anagram riddles	Write a Q&A joke (or an A followed by a Q, if you're into "Jeopardy!") in which the punchline contains an anagram or one or more relevant words or names.	P
1322	Back to the drawing board	Come up with an idea for an invention that still needs a bug ironed out.	H
1310	The Year in Redo, Part 2	Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1282 through Week 1306.	H
1295	Really, now? A matter of degree.	Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign.	H
1289	Fake gnus: bogus animal trivia	Tell us a fictoid -- a humorously false "fact" -- about the nonhuman animal kingdom.	H H
1288	Your results may vary	Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service.	H 4
1284	Same difference	Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked.	H
1243	We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P	Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition.	H
1228	That movie is SO about you	Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie.	H
1223	Post again out to mislead public!	Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24.	H
1138	Show us your touché	Offer an elegantly snide (and original) insult of anyone living or dead.	H
1059	With parens like these . . .	Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way.	H
1034	What's to like?	Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel].	H
1016	Foaling around	Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents.	H
1011	Top these!	Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.	H H H H H
1008	Switched reels	Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work.	H H
1003	Just do it	Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect.	H
992	Mittsterpiece Theatre	Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen.	H
989	On the double	Come up with a double or multiple profession, and explain how each job complements the other(s).	H
987	Bank shots	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	H
986	Hear here!	Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word.	L
975	Gone mything	Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided.	H
965	Foaling around	Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal.	H
962	Questionable journalism	Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer.	I H
947	Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms	Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it.	P
937	Staake it to him	Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books.	H
928	Play feature	Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question.	H
925	A remeaning task	Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O.	L
924	Doomed to repeat it	Create "Unreal Facts" about history.	H
923	Chemical Wordfare	Create a new chemical element or other chemical term.	H
920	Sarchiasm	Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect.	3
918	Colt Following	Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results.	H H
916	Bank shots	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May 2 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	H
915	Picture this	Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here.	4
911	Help!	Create a short humorous dialogue -- or a monologue featuring one party -- of a phone call to 911, or a call for help to someone else.	W T H
909	Reprizing	Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination.	P H
908	Recast away	Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role.	H
907	Naming rite	Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one.	P
906	Your mug here	Give us a new design for the Loser Mug.	M H
904	We move on back	Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word.	H H
900	Dear us!	Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead.	P H
898	Pre-current events	Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011.	H
897	Catch their drift	Take any sentence from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English.	H H
896	Other people's business	Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice.	H
895	Picture this	Supply a caption for any of these cartoons.	H
894	Look Back in Inker	Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844).	H H H 3
893	Give us a hint	Write a humorously witty story in 25 words or fewer.	P
892	Get a move on	Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish.	H H H
888	It's the eponymy, stupid	Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence	H 2
885	Mess with our heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head.	H H H
884	Rekindling the spork	Combine two devices or other products to make a new one.	M H H
883	Same difference	Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other.	H
881	What's in a name?	Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message.	W H H H
880	Our greatest hit	Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.	H
879	Say Venn	Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram.	W H H H H
878	Safety in blunders	Tell us a way to make the nation more secure.	H
875	Fail Us	Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage.	H H H 2
872	Har Monikers	Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source.	H
870	Let's play Nopardy	Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question.	W H H H H
869	Clue us in	Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid.	P
868	Count the ways	Give us some musings of a technical wonk.	H H 2
867	Back in the saddle	Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal.	I H
866	Natalie Portmanteau	Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase.	H
865	No Googlenopes left	Come up with a humorous Googlenope.	N H H H H
863	It's Post time	Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal.	P H H
862	Be cheerful	Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team or any national team.	H
860	Ten, Anyone?	Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words.	M H H H
859	Can't goods	Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above.	H H
858	Same OED	Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below.	I H
854	What's not to liken?	Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories.	H H 2
853	It's easy as DEF	Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward.	H
852	Small, Let's get	Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter.	L H
851	Going to the shrink	Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it.	W H
850	Dead letters	Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009.	I H H
847	Questionable journalism	Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from Dec. 11 through Dec. 21 and come up with a question it might answer.	L H H H H H H H H H 2
846	Season's gratings	Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction.	P H
845	Reologisms	Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms.	W H
844	Healthy choice	Enter any Style Invitational from Week 790 through Week 840, except for Week 793 and Week 798.	H H
843	Prefrains	Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song.	P
842	Ask backwards	Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please.	H
840	Frittering away the neurons	Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form.	H H H H
839	Overlap Dance	Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D.	L
838	Picture This	Provide a caption for any of these pictures.	H H
836	Other People's Business	Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice.	H H
835	Tour de Fours VI	Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E.	H
834	Fractured Compounds	Combine two full words within any single article appearing in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com into a hyphenated compound word, and define or otherwise describe the result.	I H H A 4
833	Our Greatest Hit	Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.	H
832	Clue Us In	You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid.	H
831	A Big To-Do	Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character.	H 2
830	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	H H H H
829	Limerixicon 6	Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters di-.	P
827	Caller Idiot	Name a real product or company and supply a stupid question or complaint for the consumer hotline person.	P H
824	Jestinations	Give us a slogan for any city or town.	H H
823	Wryku	Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku.	H
822	For Real Folks	Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife.	H
821	Spit the Difference	How are any of the items on the list above alike or different?	H H H H
820	Be Mister Language Person	Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer.	H
819	Art Re-View	These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?	H
818	Name the Day	Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan.	T I H H H H H
817	Flopflip	Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result.	T P L
816	Googillions	Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search.	P L
815	Wittecisms	Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, an I, two T's and an E.	I H H H H
814	There Will Be Bloodline	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.	T H H
813	Aw, Shocks	Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not.	H H H 2
812	Rx-Related Humor	Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact.	H H
811	Rock-Bottom Lines	Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse.	H
810	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.	H
809	Unkindest Cutlines	Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos.	H
808	Take Us At Our Words	Create a humorous poem or other writing using only the words contained in this week's Style Invitational column or results.	W H
806	DQ Very Much	Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere).	H
805	Brand Eccchs	Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product).	I H
804	Our Type o' Joke	Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it.	H H
803	The Pepys Show	Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history.	I H
802	Dreck TV	Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming.	H H 2
801	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions.	H H
800	Compairison	Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result.	H
798	Dead Letters	Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008.	M
797	Be Resolute	Make a humorous resolution for some particular person or institution to accomplish next year.	I H H H H H
795	Stimulate Us	Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on.	T H H
794	Ripped Off From the Headlines	Send us some Onion-type headlines.	H H H
793	Take The Fifth	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 725 through Week 789. Each entry must include the word "five" of "fifth" or something fiveish, or -- depending on your favorite anniversary tradition -- something involving (a) wood or (b) silverware.	H H
792	Clue Us In	Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.	H
791	The 1K Club	Supply a chain of 20 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "Chris Doyle.	H 3
790	If Only!	Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred.	I H H 3
788	The Back End of a Bulwer	Give us a comically terrible ending of a novel.	H
787	Tour de Fours V	Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters M, I, N and E.	H
786	Top of the Staake	So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest.	T P
783	The Shill Game	Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company.	H H
782	That's the Ticket!	Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States.	H
781	Our Greatest Hit	Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.	H H
780	Location, Location, Location	Say how you know you're in a particular place.	I H
779	Gripe for the Picking	Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post.	M H
778	Tied Games	Combine any two sports or nonathletic activities into a single sport or game.	M H H
777	Limerixicon 5	Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-.	P
776	An Act of Sunny Side	Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events.	H H H 4
774	Tour De Forks	Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it.	H H H
773	Always Looking for Sects	Coin a religion or belief system and tell us its basic tenet or distinguishing characteristic.	H H
772	Make It Simile, Stupid	Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it.	H H
771	Groaner's Manuals	Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization.	H H
770	A Knack for Anachronism	Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age.	H
769	Splice Work If You Can Get It	Combine two words -- overlapping by at least two letters -- into what's known by polysyllabic types as a portmanteau word, and by the rest of us as mash word, and define it.	H H
768	The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious	Come up with fictitious movie trivia.	W P H H H
767	Questionable Journalism	Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer.	H H H H H 2
766	Think to Shudder	Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above.	H H
763	Another Time Around the Track	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal.	H
761	Strip Mining	Supply the text for any or all three of these Bob Staake comic strips.	T 4
760	Whacksy Buildup	Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style.	M H H
759	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal.	H H H H
758	Wrong Address	Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage.	I I
756	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	P H H H
755	Take Another 'Whack	Send us a phrase of two or more words that produces exactly one Web page on the Google search engine and describe the phrase.	H H
754	Canny Similarities	Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above.	M H H
753	Hot Off The Riddle	Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer.	H H H H
752	The Might-Mates Right	Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates.	M H
751	Strike Gold	Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike.	H H H H H H
749	Opus 266, No. 3	Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition.	H H H 4
748	Dead Letters	Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007.	T
747	Boeing Us Silly	Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself.	I H
746	We Err The World	Give us a motto or short slogan for any country in the world.	H
745	Hurry Up and Slow Down!	Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up.	H
744	You OED Us One	Make up a humorous and false definition for any of the words listed below.	I 4
743	Picture This	Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons.	H
742	Clue Us In	Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.	H H H
741	Well, What Do You Know?	Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations.	I H H H
740	Give Us a Hint	Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well.	I H H H
739	Lies, All Lies	Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure.	H H
738	So What's To Liken?	Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar.	P M H H A
736	So, Should I Drive Like Your Brother?	Ask a car-related question that would make the Car Guys crack up. If you're not into cars, you can also post a question for advice columnist Ask Amy or etiquette columnist Miss Manners.	I H
735	Look Back in Inker	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731.	M H H H H H
734	Turnaround Time	Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other.	H
732	The Chain Gang	Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush.	T H H H H
731	Doo Process	Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage.	H 3
730	Time-Wastes For Everyman	Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time.	H H H H H H 4
729	Otherwordly Visions	Take any sentence in an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 1 through Sept. 10 and translate it into "plain English.	N H H 3
728	Tour de Fours IV	Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R.	H 3
727	We Get a C-Section	Tell us some pros and cons of moving The Style Invitational to the Saturday Style section; or write us up some free promo-ad copying announcing the move.	H
723	Name Your Poison	Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served.	H 3
721	Know Your Market	For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News.	M I H H H H
720	The Course of Humor Events	Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram.	T L I H H
719	We Har the World	Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States.	H H H
718	Put Our Heads Together	Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com)	I H H
717	Pitch Us a No-Hitter	Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits.	H
715	Your Mug Here	Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt.	W H
714	Amalgamated Steal	Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product.	T H H
713	Painings	Name and interpret any of the provided paintings by Fred Dawson.	H
712	Another Time Around the Track	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in the results of Week 708, and name THEIR foal.	H H 2
711	Join Now!	Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the April 29 or May 6 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound.	H H H
709	A Return Engagement	Come up with some novel change to the tax code: a tax on something ought to be taxed, a credit for something that should be rewarded, what the $3 should go to instead of presidential campaigns, etc.	T H
708	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.	P H H H H H H H A
707	What Would YOU Do?	Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words.	H H
706	Questionable Journalism	Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer.	W H H H
705	Simile Outrageous	Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references.	H H H H H 4
704	Another Game of Tag	Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional.	H H H
703	Freak Trade Agreements	Think of one thing to trade for another, and supply a short and funny explanation.	H 4
702	Unreal Facts	Come up with a comically false factoid.	H H H H H H H H H H H H 3
700	Stump Us	Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign.	I H H H
699	Our Greatest Hit	Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.	H H H H
698	Let's Get Personnel	Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer.	W
697	We Beg You To Differ	Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar.	H H H H
696	Send Us the Bill	Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together.	H H
694	Hopelessly Ever After	Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing.	H
693	Everything Being Sequel	Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie.	I H H 4
692	Reinkernation	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 640 through Week 688. Every entry must include the word "three" or "third" or a creative variation.	I H H H
691	Haven't Got a Clue	Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words.	H
690	Funnies: How Time Flies	Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption.	P
685	Thank it Over	Tell us some things to be thankful for.	I H
684	Backtricking	Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word.	H
679	Ask Backwards	Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare.	P
677	The News Gets Verse	Sum up wittily in verse -- but not a limerick -- any article appearing in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4.	H
676	Tour de Fours III	Coin and define a word containing -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters L, E, A and F.	H H
675	Cut Us Some Slack	Come up with humorous ways to be lazy.	H
673	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on Washingtonpost.com from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it.	H H H
672	Just Sign This	Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign.	H H
671	Join Now!	Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the July 16 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound.	H
670	A Test of Character	Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar.	H
669	Huddled Messes	Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal).	L H H H
668	Cut From the Chase	Write an original John-Bunnell-style wrap-up to a crime story -- or one for a more minor transgression.	H H
667	Questionable Journalism	Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through June 26 and supply a question it could answer.	H H H H H H H 4
665	Your One-in-a-Million	Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion.	N H
664	A Thousand Times?! No!	Come up with a new signature line for Russell Beland's -- or anyone else's -- e-mails.	I A
663	Worth at Least a Dozen Words	Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption.	H H
661	Name Any Good Movies Lately?	Give us a funny new title for an existing movie.	H H H H H
660	Foaling Down: The Next Generation	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal.	I H H H H H 3
659	Tell Us a Fib	Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme.	L H H
658	Not in the Cards	Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress.	H
656	It's Post Time	Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined.	H H H H H H
655	Laughing Inside	Take any article appearing in The Washington Post or online on washingtonpost.com from today through April 3 -- the more serious and/or mundane its headline, the better -- and write a funny poem or other passage using only words that appear in that article.	P H
654	It Plays to Recycle	Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas.	L H H H H 4
653	It's the Eponymy, Stupid	Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence	W H
652	Ask Backward	You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions.	H H
651	Show Us Some Character	Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it.	I H H
650	King Us	Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an everyday item.	W H H H
648	Caller IDiot	Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person.	H H H 2
647	Paste Imperfect	Change a headline or sentence that appears in the Post or on washingtonpost.com through Feb. 6 either by deleting up to 40 consecutive characters from it or by adding 40 consecutive characters from the same article or ad.	P I H H H H
646	Warped Perspectives	Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons.	I H A
645	A Hearty Har Har	Write up a Valentine's sentiment to any personage, or to someone in some generic category.	H
643	The Post's Mortems	Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005.	H
641	Dreck of All Trades	Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it.	H H H H
640	Whassa Motto Wid You?	Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories.	I H H H 3
639	What's the Small Idea?	Do you have a senseless idea for improving the day-to-day lives of everyday Americans?	T N I H H H
638	The Little Bummer Boy	Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis.	H
635	I've Told You a Hundred Times	Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners.	H H H
634	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it.	H H H H 2
633	Your Secret Here!	Send us some original secrets (they don't have to be true).	H H H H
632	Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader (Inc.)	Give us an original backronym for a company or product. A backronym is a fake etymology that often gets in a little dig at the subject.	L
631	Picture This	What's going on in any of these cartoons?	P H H
630	Hyphen the Terrible	Combine the beginning and end of any two multisyllabic words in this week's Invitational, and then define the compound.	H H
629	Odd Couplings	Marry or otherwise combine famous names and supply the result.	H H
628	You Gotta Have Connections	Choose any two or more items from the provided truly random list and describe how they are alike or different.	H H H H
627	Per-Verse	Write a limerick or other short poem with comically awful rhyming.	P
626	Course Light	Come up with a comical college class, along with a description for the course catalog.	T H H
625	Haven't Seen It	Make up a new plot for an existing movie title.	H H H H 3
623	Try to Remember	Give us an original mnemonic for any list that someone might want to remember.	H H
622	Our Sunday Constitutional	Write a new article or amendment to the Constitution, using on the words contained in the existing document (including amendments).	N H 2
621	Questionable Journalism	Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article in washingtonpost.com anytime through Aug. 8 and supply a question it could answer.	W H H H
620	Keep the Empress Employed	Suggest some original, creative ways that The Post could increase its circulation.	P I H H H 3
618	Of D.C. I Sing	Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune.	H H H H H
617	Best the Best	Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name.	H
615	Airy Persiflage	Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement.	P H H 4 2
614	In-Stock Characters	Pitch us an idea for a summer movie featuring two or more of the provided characters.	H
613	Tour de Fours II	Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order.	P H
612	Oh, and One More Thing	What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?	T P L H H
611	Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions.	P H
609	A2D2	Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2.	I H H H H
608	Comeback Next Week	Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments.	H H
607	Contest Fodder Created!	Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events.	H H
606	The News Could be Verse	Translate the fine prose of Washington Post articles into verse. Choose any article appearing in The Post of on its Web site from April 17 through April 25.	P
605	Truly Stupendous Ideas	Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different.	H H H
604	Fun for the Roses	Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces.	T H H H H H H
603	Sui Genesis	Take one or two of the 50 chapters of the KJV Book of Genesis and draw thou from them, using words in the order in which they appear in the original, your own passage.	H A 3
602	Take a Letter -- Again	Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.	H
601	Anticdotes	Give us an untrue anecdote in response to one of the provided Editor's Query topics.	H
600	Top of the Inking	Tell us some ways the District of Columbia will change now that we have the Nationals.	I H
599	So What's the News?	Tell us what the illustrated events are.	H H
598	Site Gags	Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution.	H H
597	Eccchsibits	Come up with some alternative museums and exhibits for the nation's capital.	H H 2
596	Take Her Words for It	Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation.	T H H H H H H
595	Listing Precariously	Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form.	H H H H H 4
593	Take This, Job, and . . .	Come up with some entertainingly awful things that a Job's comforter might offer. A Job's comforter is someone who seems to be offering sympathy but instead just makes the person feel worse, either intentionally or unintentionally.	H H H H 4
592	We Got Gamy	Offer us a concise idea for a Super Bowl commercial, or some innovative halftime entertainment, or some inappropriate sponsors, or some ideas for improving the game itself.	4
591	Dead Letters	Write rhyming poems about notable personages who have died in the past year.	H
590	Send Us the Bill	Come up with a bill sponsored by any combination of the newly elected members of Congress and explain the purpose of the bill.	H H H
589	Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!)	Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it.	T I H
588	Gadget If You Can	Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are.	H H
587	The B-List	Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings.	I H 3
586	God's Will (and Won't)	Complete either of the following: "If God hadn't wanted us to ----, God wouldn’t have ----"; "If God had wanted us to ----, God would have ----.	T H H H H
584	Deliver Us a Post	Come up with some new Cabinet or other positions that the president could establish, and describe the job responsibilities.	W T H H
583	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, from the Washington Post or its Web site from today through next Sunday, and reinterpret it by writing either a "bank headline"--or subtitle--or the first sentence of an article that changes the original meaning entirely.	T H H
582	Perversery Rhymes	Update a nursery rhyme or children's song with an edgier text.	I H
581	Evil Things in Store	Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate.	N H H H
580	United Nations	Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country.	H H H H H H
579	Another Brilliant Contest! Do Enter!	Write us a sentence or phrase consisting of words beginning with consecutive letters, in the A-to-Z direction.	I H
578	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions.	H 2
577	Teledubbies	Slightly change the title of a TV show, past or present, and describe it.	I H H H
576	Well, Excuuuuse Us!	Come up with new excuses for any common human shortcoming or imperfection.	I H H H H
575	T Hee Hee	Come up with new ideas for both front and back of the Loser T-shirts.	W L H H H 2 2
574	Boor Us Silly	Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences.	H H
573	Thine Ad Goest Here	Propose biblical and other literary passages, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement.	H H H 2
571	A Tour de Fours	Create and define a word that includes T, H, E, and S in any order. The letters must appear consecutively.	H H
570	Timeline Rhyme Lines	Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter.	W H H H H
569	Murphy's Lore	Give Eric Murphy advice he deserves on the provided questions.	H H H H 2
568	Tome Deftness	Make a pun or similar wordplay on a book title.	H H H H H
567	A Running Gag	Explain how any of the provided bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign.	T H
566	Get Whack	Type a two-word phrase into the Google search engine that produces exactly one result.	H H H H 4
565	Anthem Is as Anthem Does	Give us a verse for an alternative U.S. national anthem, set to any well-known tune.	I H H H H
564	Redefine Print	Redefine any word from the dictionary.	H H H H H H
563	Take Two	Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other.	H H
561	Deform of a Question	Take any sentence appearing in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com today through June 14, and make up a question to which the sentence could be an answer.	H H H H A 5 3
560	The 97.5-Meter Dash	Suggest some time- and cost-saving measures so the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens will open on time.	3
559	Your Slogan Here	Come up with a clever slogan or sign for a business.	H H H H H H H 3
558	Set Us Right	Send us conservative-leaning humor in any of the provided genres.	H H H
557	Oh, for Namesakes!	Take two people, real or fictional, who share some element of their names and explain the difference between them.	I H H H H H H 2
556	So Zoo Us	Combine any two kinds of animals, give its name and describe it.	H H H
552	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.	H H H H H
551	Lost in Translation	Find us some comical translations-and-back using Google translator. Feed some passage of English text into the tool--25 words max--and ask it to translate it into one of the five languages offered; then copy the result back into the tool and ask it to translate that back to English.	I
550	Spring Cleaning	Suggest creative uses for things you've already used, or never will use, or other disposable household thingies, singly or in combination.	H H H
549	Show Us Your Best Quantities	Come up with novel units of measure, and explain or quantify them.	P I H H H H 3
548	Inklings	Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies.	H H H 4
547	Give Us a Bad Name	Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one.	W H H H H H H H
546	A Nice Pair of Cities	Choose any two or more real U.S. towns and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake.	H H H
545	Put It in Reverse	Spell a word backward and define it, with the definition relating in some way to the original word.	H 2
543	Read Our Leaps	Fill any readers of The Washington Post on Sunday, Feb. 29, 2032, on: (a) the day's lead news story; (b) the highest-flying company and its business; (c) the best-selling self-help book; and/or (d) the day's winning Style Invitational entry.	I H H H H
541	Celled Up the River	Give us a delicious scenario, in which a cellphone yakker's yakking could be taken profitably out of context.	H H 3
540	Revisionist History, or Badenov for You?	State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show.	I H H H H H H H H H 4
538	Try, Try Again	Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners.	T H H H H H 5
537	The New York Post	Liven up any article appearing in The Washington Post or its Web site over the next eight days by giving it an irresponsibly sensationalistic headline.	I H H H
536	And the Horse He Rodin On	Come up with some words we can stick in the back of The Inker.	H H H H H
535	Picture This	Can you tell us what astonishing news Bob Staake is trying to pass on with cartoons?	H H
534	The Feminine Touch	Propose how any male-dominated occupation or institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated.	H H H H
533	Breed Apart	Mate the clones of any two famous real people, living or dead--a male and a female, please--and hypothesize what traits or skills their offspring might have.	L H H H H
532	Short Pans	Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art.	H H H 4
531	Your Cynic Duties	Come up with a saying that sounds as if it's going to be inspirational, but winds up being cynical, misanthropic or sad.	T H
530	Tri Harder	Take any word, alter it in three ways--by adding a letter, by subtracting a letter and by changing a letter--and redefine all three new words.	R
529	United We Stanza	Summarize in four rhyming lines of verse any famous document, theory, principle or speech.	T
528	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	T H H H
525	It Won't Belong Now	Tell us which of three cartoons provided does not belong, and why.	W
524	Around Things Moving	Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about.	W T H
523	Hard to Overstate	Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be.	H H H
522	Being There	Set the agenda for a flash mob, one of those existential, Web-arranged, sudden, pointless, instantaneous but brief gatherings of people at odd places, to do odd things.	T
521	Hyphen the Terrible	Take the first half of any hyphenated word in today's Washington Post (or Tuesday's USA Today) and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and define the new word it produces.	T H H H H
520	I, Object	These items were ordered by well-known people. Who ordered them, and why?	H H H
518	Say, Kids, What Time Is It?	Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: "You know it's time to ------ when ------.	H H
517	Insert Joke Here	Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter.	H H H H H
515	A Cellebration of Tasteful Living	Come up with ways that Martha Stewart can prettify and improve her new prison surroundings using only her skills, her impeccable taste and those resources available to her.	H H H H H 2
514	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions?	H
513	It's Delete We Can Do	Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen.	T
512	Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader	Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession, to form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person.	H H
511	It All Impends	Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons.	H H
510	Universal Embarrassment	What would you like to see Miss Universe Pageant contestants asked live, on national TV?	4
509	Be a Real Card	Come up with a greeting card rhyme for an un-greeting-card occasion.	H
508	Letter Rip	Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word.	H H H
507	Crocktails	Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink.	H H H
506	The Battle of All Mottoes	Provide a slogan for any federal department agency, department, office, etc.	I
505	The Rule of Dumb	You are given $1 million. Conditions: (1) You must spend it all. (2) You must use it in a way that neither directly nor indirectly works to your financial benefit. (3) You may not use it to alleviate the suffering of anyone on Earth, or for any public-spirited project other than the joy of stupidity.	L H H H H H H 4
502	Picture This	Who are these people? What are they doing?	H H
501	Questionable Sentences	Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post and make it the answer to a question.	H H H H H H H H 3
500	Ergo-Nomics	Create a sillygism--a syllogism that doesn't quite work.	3
499	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown and tell us the name of their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.	H H H H
498	Unamazing But True!	Submit a true fact that is of absolutely no use, but interesting in a weirdly Invitationalist way.	H H
483	Obitter Fate	Give us an obit headline for some famous person, currently living or dead.	I
472	Water Stupid Idea	Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought.	H
471	Excuses, Excuses	Come up with creative new excuses for not turning in homework, not filing your taxes on time, missing church or forgetting your spouse's birthday.	T
469	Playing Check-In	Suggest appropriate hotel check-in names for any celebrities, past or present, living or dead.	W H H H
467	Get Your But in Here	Produce a line that fits this structure: (Real thing based upon current events) is (word or phrase suggesting some quality) but (other word or phrase suggesting a dissimilar or incompatible quality), like (funny analogy).	H H H H H H
466	Spit the Difference	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	H H A 3
462	Cast Away	Come up with a terrible bit of miscasting in a movie or TV show, past or present, real or imagined.	A
460	Pompous Assets	Come up with the first paragraph of a review of a real book or movie, past or present, that is narcissistic, pretentious, and self-aggrandizing.	A
457	Letter Rip	Give us the beginning of a letter to the editor that is certain never to see print.	A
452	Russellmania!	(1) Design one or more steps for a 12-step program for the recovering Invitationalaholic; (2) Propose a devious method by which we might lure Russell Beland back.	H
448	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races this year and propose a name for their foal. No name may exceed 18 characters, including spaces.	H H H
445	Another Round of Bierce	Add a few entries to Ambrose Bierce's famous "Devil's Dictionary.	H H
442	Titletales	Take any real book or movie, change one word slightly, and describe the resulting new product.	H
441	Spit the Difference	Take any two nouns that appear on the front page of today's Washington Post and explain how the nouns differ from each other.	H H
440	Picture This	What is going on in these cartoons?	H H H 4
439	No Can Do	Write signs of incompetence.	H
438	What's the Pun Line?	Ask a question and answer it, somewhere incorporating the name of a least one famous person.	H
437	The Telegraph Poll	Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line.	2
430	OMB Directive No. 2	Revisit any contest The Style Invitational has ever run, and rewrite our tawdry past by proposing a new first-prize winner serious and/or decorous enough to please the Ombudsman.	H 3
429	Shark Instruments	Tell us what would be a sign that any current institution--TV show, newspaper feature, magazine, business, etc.--has jumped the shark.	T H H H
427	Skinned	Come up with events that have a smaller chance of happening than the Redskins winning the Super Bowl.	H
426	Captions Courageous	Take any photograph or illustration from today's Washington Post and give it a more interesting caption.	H
425	Hyphen the Terrible	Take the first half of any hyphenated word from any story in today's newspaper and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and propose a definition of the new word you've created.	H
423	Roling With Laughter	Take a character from one movie, use him or her to replace a character in a second movie, and then explain how this change would affect the second movie.	W H H
422	Taught Language	Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page.	H
421	Picture This	These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?	T H H H H 4
420	Ha Anxiety	Make us laugh.	R R
419	Don't Spare the Rodney	Come up with indications that one might not be getting no respect.	H
418	Xtreme Invitational	Come up with signs you are overdoing it any in any of the provided categories.	H H
417	Initially Mistaken	Take any name of a person or thing, and construct an appropriate message using its letters, in order, as the first letters of the words of your message.	H
416	Diff'rent Jokes	Describe how things might have been different if a famous person, living or dead, had had one of the provided conditions.	T H H H
415	Sentence Us to Death	Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post, and invent a question that it answers.	W H H H H 5 4 2
414	No Rest for the Query	Complete the provided rhetorical question by filling in the blanks. It must be a put-down.	H H H H H H H 2
413	Bland Ambition	Come up with one or more items from an underachiever's list of midlife resolutions.	H H H
412	Painful Climaxes	Come up with statements that start really dramatically, but leave you sorta flat at the end.	I
411	X's and Oaths	Take any oath, pledge, declaration or slogan and update it.	I H
410	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	T H
409	Nice Job, if You Get It	Take anything that might need its image enhanced and rename it in a way the keeps its essential identity, but makes it seem nicer.	H H 5
408	What's In a Name?	Take the name of any politician, living or dead, and construct an appropriate message from the letters of the name. You may use any letter as many times as you wish, and you may insert punctuation.	H
407	Adverbiage	Come up with a witticism or a joke by making a pun out of an adverb. Unlike Tom Swiftlys, your adverb must modify not a verb but an adjective.	H
406	Bum Steerage	Offer some spectacularly bad advice to any of the provided people.	H H H 4
405	The "Sty"le Invitational	Take any word--this may include people or places--put a portion of it in "air quotes" and redefine it. You may not alter the spelling.	H H H 6
402	Spitting the Difference	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	H
401	A Matter of Degree	Describe a sign of some modest change in a situation and pair it with a sign of an extreme change in that same situation.	T I H H H 4
400	Life Is Snort	Write a "Life is Short" entry in under 100 words, in the voice of a celebrity, living or dead.	3
399	IT PAYS TO BE GENDEROUS	Write a short film description that could persuade a woman that the guy movie he wants to see is really close to being a gal movie, or vice versa.	H 6
398	Animal Magnetism	Make great literature and/or a significant expression of the human condition out of the provided randomly-selected words. Use whatever punctuation you choose and any of the words, but only those words, and use them only once.	H H H
397	Sins of Omission	Omit a letter or letters from a real-life sign to create a name for a new business, comically different from the original. Describe the new business or include a slogan that explains it.	H
396	April Foals	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces.	H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H A 4
395	Devilishly Clever	Describe someone's special little corner of Hell.	I H
393	Things Could Be Verse	Take any story in today's Washington Post and rewrite it into a rhyming poem of no more than eight lines.	T H
392	Everyone's a Comic	Choose any panel of any comic strip in today's Washington Post and improve it by replacing the original speech and thought balloons with your own,	H H
391	Spinning Out of Control	Take a headline in today's Washington Post and create a subhead that spins the story in an opposite or unexpected direction.	H H
389	Operation Overkill	Present a solution to a problem that goes just a little too far.	H H H H 5
388	Pitches in the Dirt	Come up with a sales pitch to get any surplus product off the shelves.	H H
387	By Jingo	Come up with a joke that could be written and understood only by a Washingtonian.	H H
386	The Game of Clue	What are some clues that someone might be any of the provided characterizations?	H H H 2
383	A Kinder, Gender Nation	Take an noun and give us a reason or two why it should be either masculine or feminine.	H
382	Pickup Schticks	Write inept pickup lines, by either sex, to either sex.	H H
381	Idiom Savant	Take any well-known idiom, or expression, and invent an interesting derivation for it.	H
378	Bill Us Now	Come up with a bill sponsored by any of the newly elected U.S. senators and representatives, and explain the purpose of the bill.	H H
377	Week MMDCXLIV	Provide a headline (and, if necessary, the first line of the text) for any article that will appear in The Washington Post on this day in the year 2050.	H H
376	Apply Yourself	Supply bad openings to college application biographies.	H 2
374	Bill Us Later	Take a well-known expression and update it for the new millennium.	H H H H
373	An Extra Large Challenge	What should we put on the back of the new Style Invitational T-shirt?	U H H 3
372	Trial Balloons	Fill in the balloons.	H
370	No End in Sight	Write the beginnings of sentences you don't want to hear the end of.	H H H 3
368	Hyphen the Terrible	Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition.	H H H
367	Future Schlock	Come up with a line that will surely not appear in an upcoming work.	U H 5
366	Just Fulghum	Come up with a list of at least three Major Life Lessons one can learn from any of the venues provided.	U H H H H H H 3
365	Terse Verse	Ask a question and then answer it with a rhyme. Your answer can be as many words as you wish, but all must have the same rhyme.	H
364	Low Marks	Come up with a new punctuation mark. Tell us what it looks like, and what it is used for, and use it in a sentence.	H H
363	It's Your Movie	Take the title of any movie and make it the answer to a riddle.	H H
362	Something Missing	Tell us what is missing in each of the provided cartoons.	H H
361	Bad Libs	Select one subject, one verb, and one object from the provided lists, and then answer the riddle you create.	H H 2
360	No Competition	Create a list of 25 names, each linked in some way to the name before, and you must begin and end with Mary Ann Madden.	H
359	It's No Party	Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet.	H H H H H H
358	Finish the Fire	Finish "We Didn't Start the Fire," to summarize 1990 to the present.	H
355	Seeing Stars	Tell us ways we can attract celebrity participation to this contest.	H H 2
354	Everyone's a Critic	Adopt the style of a famous writer and review any of the provided dishes.	H 3
353	Patently Silly	What do these devices do?	H H H
352	A Laff Riot	Take the name of a company and/or its commercial product and provide it a new definition.	H H H
351	Dubya Fun	Take any well-known statement, expression, slogan, etc., and rewrite it the way Dubya might have said it.	I H H H H H
350	Employing Irony	Propose bad career choices.	U H
349	Orienting Oneself	Produce a haiku using only words found in today's Washington Post. Your entry must have three lines, the first containing exactly five syllables, the second containing exactly seven syllables, the third containing exactly five.	H H H 3
348	When We're LXIV	Fashion an entry by selecting one from each of the provided menu groups: a short poem, analogy or metaphor, slogan or aphorism, or "Did you ever wonder why" sentence with various limitations.	I
346	Greasy Kids Tough	Take any news event from history, recent or ancient, large or small, and rewrite it in 100 words or fewer as it might have appeared in KidsPost.	H H H H 4
345	Picture This	What is going on in these cartoons?	H
344	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Envision the mating of any two of the 387 horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown, and propose a name for their foal. The foal's name must be contained in 18 or fewer letters and spaces.	H H
342	Plainly Ridiculous	Take any direct quotation from any article in today's Washington Post and translate it into "plain English.	H H
340	ASK BACKWARDS 12	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?	U
338	WHO WANTS TO WIN A TOILET?	Propose even greater depths of shameless, tasteless sleaze to which Fox TV is likely to sink after the noisome debacle of "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?	2
337	DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY	Take a quality you wish to quantify and devise the perfect icon to measure it. Then give us an example of the extremes.	H H H 4
336	THE "STY"LE INVITATIONAL	Choose any word and emphasize a single part of it, as though you were saying the word out loud with "air quotes" around the key part. Then redefine the word. You cannot alter the spelling of the word.	H
330	NERD PLANET FROM THE SUN	Come up with comments from the Nerd Side even less interesting than the observation that the 21st century doesn't really start until 2001.	I
329	THE STYLE INVITATIONAL: HELL	Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. You may add spacing and punctuation, but you may not move letters around.	2
328	NICE CAPADES	Send in some pleasant observation, in which you take a really cheerful or heartwarming view of something that less charitable people might conceivably see differently.	H H
325	THE BURMA ROAD	Propose welcoming doggerel for states or cities patterned after Burma Shave signs.	H
324	A PREQUEL OPPORTUNITY OFFERING	Come up with a "prequel" to some classic film or work of literature. You must produce a title and a brief plot summary, which of course must take place prior to the main action of the original work.	H H
323	THE CONGRESSIONAL RECORD INVITATIONAL	Come up with not-quite-ready inventions, past or present.	H H H H H 5
322	YOU NAME IT	Take a well known pair or group of names, extend one of them in some manner, and explain how the group dynamic changes.	H H
321	INTERPRET THIS	Take any of the provided cartoons and come up with a matched pair of interpretations for what is happening.	I H E
320	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces.	H H H H H H H
318	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition.	H H E
313	THE STYLE INVITATIONAL SOUVENIR SHOP	Come up with bad names for a new store at a mall.	H 5
310	IT'S LIKE THIS	Come up with really lame analogies.	H
309	A STINKING PILE OF THESES	Write an all-purpose first line or paragraph for any doctoral dissertation, designed to impress the heck out of academics.	H
307	IF YOU BOYCOTT THIS TASK / YOU WON'T WIN THE FLASK	Come up with rhyming couplets to warn us about the perils of modern life.	E
306	YOUNGIAN THERAPY	Suggest ways in which the Style Invitational or any other Washington area institution can become more relevant to younger people.	H 4 3
305	ASK BACKWARDS CMXVI²	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	H
303	BOOM TIMES	Come up with old and new concerns for the baby boom generation.	H
301	PICTURE THIS	What is happening in these cartoons?	4
294	PRODUCT LIARBILITY	Take the name of any commercial product and redefine it.	H
290	THE WORLD THEORIES	Codify some of life's more populist theories.	H
282	TAKING SNIDES	Take any story anywhere in today's Post and append to it a single snide observation, concerning either the headline or the text of the story.	H
278	THE STALE INVITATIONAL	Begin with a word. Add, subtract or change a single letter only, and then provide a new definition.	H H
277	LIFE IN THE BLURBS	Come up a simple plot summary to help attract the modern audience to any classic work of fiction. It must be literally true and defensible.	H
276	SPIT THE DIFFERENCE	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	W A
275	THERE ONCE WAS CONTEST FROM NANTUCKET . . .	Write a limerick in which the first line is about someone who comes from some place in the Washington area.	E
274	THE DROLL OF A LIFETIME	Be the New Yorker comics editor, and explain to readers of The Washington Post why the provided jokes are charmingly witty.	H H
273	UNSEENS WE'D LIKE TO SEE	Provide examples of any of the provided categories of things that will never happen.	H E
272	PICTURE THIS	What is happening in these cartoons?	H
271	YOGI BEARER	Come up with new Yogi-isms, which seem to make sense, but collapse like a soufflé when you poke it a little	2
268	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Take the names of this year's Triple Crown nominees, mate any two of them, a propose a name for the foal. The foal's name must be contained in 18 characters, including spaces.	H H H H H 3
266	DEFINITELY WEIRD	Take any word from the dictionary and redefine it.	H E
265	A SPORK OF GENIUS	Come up with new products like the spork: combinations of two existing products that work together in some special way. Name the device and explain its function.	H 3
263	THE GAME OF THE NAME	Propose a bad name for the provided categories.	H
261	WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY II	Alter some crucial moment in history, and then tell us the likely outcome.	H H
260	IT'S A SNAP	Come up with replacements for the two hackneyed answers: "Is the Pope Catholic?" and "When Hell freezes over.	H
258	IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A PAIN.	Choose one or more of the provided super powers and tell us what you would do with it.	H H
256	THE PYLE INVITATIONAL	Come up with hip, contemporary riddles and answers. The punch line must contain a painful pun.	H
252	MAKE YOUR MOVIE	Propose people who were the secret inspiration for famous movies.	H H H
250	OH, GREAT	Complete the sentence "Wouldn't it be great if . . .	I H
249	BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS	Supply a silver lining for any scourge or social ill facing America or the world.	L E
247	BLACK AND WHITE AND WED ALL OVER	Propose the marriage of any two people, and the song they should not play at their wedding. The people must be a man and a woman.	H 4
244	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Coin new words, and provide a definition, by combining the first half of a hyphenated word for any story in today's Post with the second half of another hyphenated word in the same story.	H
243	VERSE THAN EVER	Write a rhyming poem of two to eight lines as a tribute to someone famous who died in 1997, the more awful the better. We will particularly value rhymes that thud, and extremes of emotion and sentiment.	L
241	CAN YOU BEAT THIS?	Come up with headlines describing the defeat of one pro team by another.	H
240	ADDING INSULT	Come up with elegant insults directed at any famous person, living or dead, such as the real encomiums above.	5
239	NAME THAT TOON	Send us the captions for cartoons not provided.	H H H
238	CHALK IT UP TO STUPIDITY	Propose apologies for yourself in the style of Bart Simpson writing on his blackboard.	H H H
237	ASK BACKWARD	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	E
236	CALLING THE TOON.	What is happening here?	H H
235	ROOTS	Make up historical explanations--they should be vaguely plausible--for the etymology of any term you wish. The term should be the punch line.	H
234	THE JOKE'S ON YOU	Complete any of the provided jokes as it would be told by someone famous, living or dead.	3
232	PRIMAL URGES	Update, for the millennium, the old "A is for Apple" reading primer. An entry must include the four letters in one of these blocks: A-D, E-H, I-L, M-P, Q-T, U-Z.	E
230	TALES FROM THE CRYPTOGRAM	Take any proper noun--a person, a book, a movie, whatever--and create for it an appropriate cryptogram.	E
228	MAKE MY DAY	Supply advice to today's spoiled kids about how bad things were when we were growing up.	H H H 2
227	WILD PITCHES	Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created to represent it.	H H E
226	GOING WITHOUT	Complete some variation of the expression "An A without a B is like a C without a D.	H E 4
223	ATTEMPTING REENTRY	Submit entries to any past contest, so long as you never submitted them before.	H
222	TRIP DEUCES	Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form.	H H H
221	SONG SUNG BROWN	Pick any song, pick a well-known line, and give us the discarded first draft. If it is part of a rhyme, you must maintain the rhyme.	6
220	RSVP	Provide an answer to any of the dumb questions from Week 217.	H E
219	VERBOSITY	Come up with new, obnoxious, self-conscious faux verbs and use them in sentences.	W H H H H H H E
218	CALLING THE TOON	Who are these people? What are they doing?	E
217	NO QUESTION ABOUT IT	Come up with truly stupid questions.	7
216	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Pair up any two of the 400-plus horses who have qualified for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their foal, in a maximum of 18 characters, including spaces.	H 6
215	SON OF A PITCH	Write lavish blurbs in 50 words or fewer so some sucker will want to pay a lot of money for the provided items.	H 3
212	DUMB AS THE POST	Come up with even stupider crimes than those committed by Montgomery County's "gentleman burglars.	H
209	WE NEED SOME SEASONING	Come up with the first signs of spring in Washington.	H H
208	SEND IN THE CLONES	Suggest questions a commission to investigate the moral, legal and practical question raised by cloning might consider.	4
206	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE II	Create a new word by combining the first half of any hyphenated word in today's newspaper with the second half of any other hyphenated word elsewhere in the same story, and supply a definition.	H 3
205	SOME PIG	Beg for the prize: convince us why you, and you alone, deserve to get it.	R
204	DOUBLE EXPRESSO	Take any well-known colorful expression, and modernize it.	L I
201	THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE	Come up with a new element and its symbol, and provide a brief description of its chemical or physical properties.	E
199	WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	L H H H
197	DAVE'S WORLD	Make David Twenhafel laugh. Any sort of delightful drollery or amusing witticism will do, so long as it is not the sort of lowbrow fare we usually favor.	H H
195	THE MARTHIAN CHRONICLES	Come up with items for Martha Stewart's December-January calendar of projects.	H H
194	ADVICE SQUAD	Answer any of the provided questions unwisely.	H
192	HILL'S BILLS	Come up with bills any of the new members of Congress might jointly sponsor.	H H H
191	GOING THROUGH A PHRASE	Come up with phrase for an American English phrasebook that would provide no practical help whatsoever to a foreigner trying to get along in the United States.	3
190	OFFICE YOU CAN'T REFUSE	Come up with a Principle for the Workplace.	L H H H E A
186	CALLING THE TOON	Who are these people? What are they doing?	H
185	WONDERLUST	Come up with replacements for the Seven Wonders of the World. To qualify, an object must really exist, and be manmade and, in some way, awesome.	H
183	COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG II	Create hawkers' rhymes for modern-day occupations like lobbyists, lawyers, talk show hosts, actuaries, etc., at a maximum of four lines. It must contain at least one rhyme.	H 3
179	A CLOCKWORK, UM, UM, ... ER	Write single sentences containing no fewer than three examples of rhyming slang.	W
174	THE EDGE OF MIGHT	Complete any of the four provided "you might" phrases.	H H H
173	DEAD RECKONING	Propose a question that might be asked by a living celebrity to a famous dead person. You must name the living person, name the dead person, and tell us the question.	H H
171	ON SECOND THOUGHT	Ideas that never got off the drawing board, for good reason.	H H H H H H E
170	THE ELEMENTS OF SMILE	Why are these people smiling?	H E
167	CRAPSEY	Resurrect the "cinquain," a long-deceased poetic form, poems so ickily precocious and pretentious they make haiku look like Kipling. There are five lines, the first containing two syllables, the second containing four syllables, the third six, the fourth eight and the last, with grave finality and thunderous drama, only two. Your subject matter must be suitable for the 1990s.	E
166	DOO WAH DOODY	We are looking for really bad lyrics to real rock songs. Your lyrics must be from a reasonably popular song, and you must include the name of the singer or songwriter.	H
165	WHEEL OF TORTURE	Complete any of the provided "Wheel of Fortune" phrases.	H E A
163	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Take the list of all 1996 Triple Crown nominees, couple up any two of them, and propose an appropriate name for their hypothetical foal. The foal's name must fit in no more than 18 characters, including spaces.	W H H H H
162	MAY WE HAVE YOUR PRETENSION, PLEASE?	Come up with the most pretentious original sentence possible.	H H H
160	SEEKING WISE GUYS	Come up with cool new bad-guy terms.	H 4
157	WARNING SIGNS	Complete any of these "you might be about to" warning sentences.	H H E
156	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Create new word by combining the first half of a hyphenated word with the second half of a hyphenated word. Both words must appear in the same story anywhere in today's Washington Post. Each entry must provide a definition for the newly created word.	H E
155	COMPARISON SHOPPING	Explain the difference between any two of the above items.	I H
154	ENTER LAUGHING	Make up a knock-knock joke. The subject of the third line must be something crude, silly, or profound.	E
153	STUMP US	Complete this sentence, "I should be elected President of the United States because. . ." and launch your campaign.	H H 5
152	WE ARE CURIOUS (YELLOW)	Take any headline in today's Washington Post and rewrite it in tabloid fashion so the story seems a lot more scandalous and/or lurid than it is.	L I H
151	STRIP MINING	Come up with a concept for a new, controversial strip to replace an existing one in The Post.	H E
150	TRIAL BALLOONS	What are the people saying?	E
148	RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD IV	Interpret these ink blots.	E
147	JUST FOR LIFFS	Come up with original liffs, which identify a familiar, tantalizing concept without a word to define it, and pairs it with a perfectly good but underutilized word that just loafs around on maps and street signs.	H H
146	IT'S LIKE THIS	Produce an A and B to complete the expression "A makes about as much sense as B.	H H
143	IT'S MY PARODY (& I'LL TRY IF I WANT TO)	Rewrite any common jingle or theme song in the style of famous writer.	H
142	EXHIBITING BAD TENDENCIES	Come up with the winner of next year's Turner Prize, which says its aim is to expand ideas of what is art.	H
140	WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY?	Come up with "What-If" scenarios and logical outcomes.	W E
136	NEW END IN SIGHT	Come up with new endings to make literary classics more suitable for Hollywood in the 1990s.	H H
135	JERRY-BUILT SOLUTIONS	Come up with Seinfeld-isms: whiny, quirky musings on little questions of life.	W H E
133	LIKE, WOW.	Come up with funny analogies.	H H H
131	DROODLEYSQUAT	Come up with "droodles," simple geometric drawings with funny explanations.	H E
130	NICELY STATED	Create a fictional city to be humorously paired with a real state abbreviation.	E
128	LIKE, DUH	Come up with snappy answers to stupid questions.	H H
127	GADGET IF YOU CAN	Choose one or more of these devices and describe their use.	H
126	EVERYBODY'S TALKIN'	What are these people, etc., saying or thinking?	H
124	SPOON-FEED US.	Come up with spoonerisms, expressions based on the transposition of the initial sounds of two paired words.	E
123	WHY IS POOP FUNNY?	Come up with creative answers to any of the five questions above that might be asked by a 5-year-old.	H
122	THE UNKINDEST CUTE OF ALL	Come up with a new story line for "Peanuts", some plot development or new character that will put the strip back on the road to relevance.	E
121	IT'S NO USE	Come up with useless products.	W H H
120	SIMILE OUTRAGEOUS	Come up with inept analogies, rotten comparisons as a literary device.	H H H H E
116	WRITE PURE POETRY	Write a complete sentence using only the letters contained on the top row of a typewriter. Alternatively, you can use the letters of the first four lines of the standard eye chart.	H H
115	THE MNEMONIC PLAGUE	Come up with new mnemonic devices to remember complicated lists.	L H
114	THE JOKE'S ON YOU	Come up with jokes to culminate in any of these six punch lines.	W
113	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Take a list of horses nominated to the Triple Crown races this year, choose any two, and propose a name for their offspring.	9
112	POOP FICTION	Come up with the opening lines of a book so bad it will compel you to stop reading immediately; maximum 50 words.	H
110	DO NOT INHALE THIS PAGE	Come up with absurd warning labels that might be found on common products.	H
107	CLUSTERS' LAST STAND	Take an actual star cluster, redraw the lines into a different image, and give it a new name.	2
105	WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?	Come up with Good Ideas and then convert them to Bad Ideas through slight changes in wording.	H
103	SEND HELP.	Come up with ways to raise some badly needed cash for the District of Columbia.	H
99	WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES?	What's wrong with these pictures?	H H
98	YOUR CHEATIN' ART	Come up with titles for country music songs featuring any one or more of the following themes: cheatin', thievin', drinkin', truckin', lovin' or dogs.	H
96	STICK IT IN YOUR ERA	Come up with a catch phrase for the 1990s.	H
93	I WANT THE MONGOOSE	Tell us, in 50 words or fewer, why you must have this elegant piece of taxidermy featuring a snake being killed by a mongoose.	H
89	CHILD'S PLAY	Come up with bad ideas for new toys for the Christmas season.	H
88	GIVE US SOME GOOD NEWS	Come up with ways things are going to be different now that Republicans have ascended to power.	H
87	WEST EASY, ANN	Come up with good things about West Virginia, in 50 words or fewer.	H H
86	EXCUSES, EXCUSES	Come up with funny excuses for various malfeasances.	H 3
85	PLAY MYTHTY FOR ME	Come up with new urban myths, those vaguely believable, wildly paranoid stories that circulate by word of mouth until they are generally accepted as true.	H
84	THE WASHINGTON IRVINGS	Come up with creative names for the high school football teams of real towns in America.	H
73	LUNACY	Tell us what Neil Armstrong should have said upon stepping onto the moon's surface, instead of what he did, the greatest gaffe in the history of Historic Sayings.	H H

PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR RUSSELL BELAND