PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR CHRIS ROLLINS
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.
||Our Greatest Hit
||Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.
||Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search.
||Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, an I, two T's and an E.
||Make a humorous resolution for some particular person or institution to accomplish next year.
||Ripped Off From the Headlines
||Send us some Onion-type headlines.
||Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred.
||Doctrine in The House?
||State a humorous, original "doctrine" for a person or other entity.
||Gripe for the Picking
||Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post.
||Splice Work If You Can Get It
||Combine two words -- overlapping by at least two letters -- into what's known by polysyllabic types as a portmanteau word, and by the rest of us as mash word, and define it.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal.
||Hot Off The Riddle
||Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer.
||Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons.
||So, Should I Drive Like Your Brother?
||Ask a car-related question that would make the Car Guys crack up. If you're not into cars, you can also post a question for advice columnist Ask Amy or etiquette columnist Miss Manners.
||3 H H W |
||Tour de Fours IV
||Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R.
||Know Your Market
||For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News.
||Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign.
||Send Us the Bill
||Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]