PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR WAYNE RODGERS
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- M: Title for the Honorable Mentions section, first awarded to Meg Sullivan in Week 652.
||Ask Backwards 38
||Sixteen "answers" are provided. Tell us the questions.
||Everybody get appy
||Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one.
||Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.
||They don't say!
||Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said.
||We'll call them your-mama jokes
||Tell us an original "your mama" joke.
||The Inside Word
||Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word.
||Give us a slogan for any city or town.
||For Real Folks
||Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife.
||H W |
||Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming.
||Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result.
||H M |
||Keep the Empress Employed
||Suggest some original, creative ways that The Post could increase its circulation.
||Tour de Fours II
||Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order.
||Oh, and One More Thing
||What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?
||H H |
||Evil Things in Store
||Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions.
||Slightly change the title of a TV show, past or present, and describe it.
||Boor Us Silly
||Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences.
||Make a pun or similar wordplay on a book title.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]