PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ERIKA REINFELD
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Haven't Seen It
||Make up a new plot for an existing movie title.
||It's Parody Time
||Offer, in the holiday spirit of goodwill, some advice--as constructive and unifying as Loserly suggestions always are--to our nation's leaders (or the loyal opposition) as we prepare for the next four years. This advice will be set to the tune of some winter holiday song, either religious or secular.
||Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country.
||Well, Excuuuuse Us!
||Come up with new excuses for any common human shortcoming or imperfection.
||P W |
||Boor Us Silly
||Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences.
||H H |
||Give Eric Murphy advice he deserves on the provided questions.
||A Tsk, A Task
||Come up with a super-wholesome passage of 25 words or fewer that would likely be banned by the admirable, ever-vigilant Neopets.com site.
||Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies.
||A Nice Pair of Cities
||Choose any two or more real U.S. towns and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake.
||You Gotta Have Heart
||Write us some valentine sentiments from one particular person (real or fictional) to another.
||H H |
||Read Our Leaps
||Fill any readers of The Washington Post on Sunday, Feb. 29, 2032, on: (a) the day's lead news story; (b) the highest-flying company and its business; (c) the best-selling self-help book; and/or (d) the day's winning Style Invitational entry.
||Celled Up the River
||Give us a delicious scenario, in which a cellphone yakker's yakking could be taken profitably out of context.
||And the Horse He Rodin On
||Come up with some words we can stick in the back of The Inker.
||H H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]