PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ELLEN RAPHAELI

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. A
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. 2
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. H
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H
1116 Punning in place Create a new term using only the letters in a place name. You don't have to use all the letters, but you can't use a letter more often than it appears in the word. H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H H
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. H
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H
994 Stick it to us Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. H
981 Feeling testy Write a question that "ought to" be on a qualifying test for a particular job. H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. 3
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
922 A Banner Week Write entirely new, humorous lyrics to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”; they can be on any subject. P
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. H
889 Tour de Fours VII Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters P, O, L and E. H
883 Same difference Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other. H
878 Safety in blunders Tell us a way to make the nation more secure. H
877 Quipped from the headlines Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news. H
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. L
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. H
843 Prefrains Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song. H
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. 3
835 Tour de Fours VI Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E. 4
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H H
813 Aw, Shocks Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not." H
810 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H H
802 Dreck TV Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming. H
799 Send Us the Bill Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together. H
798 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008. L
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. H
787 Tour de Fours V Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters M, N and E. H
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H
772 Make It Simile, Stupid Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. H
770 A Knack for Anachronism Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age. H
766 Think to Shudder Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above. 4 H
764 Can You Up Chuck? Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris Facts. P
760 Whacky Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. H
757 Gorey Thoughts From A to Z Send us some rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. 2
754 Canny Similarities Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above. 4 H
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H H H H
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H H
745 Hurry Up and Slow Down! Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up. H
732 The Chain Gang Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush." H
731 Doo Process Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage. W
728 Tour de Fours IV Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R. H H H H
724 Abridged Too Far Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines. W
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. 2 H
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. 3
41 READ-END COLLUSION Design a Style Invitational bumper sticker to be awarded to all Honorable Mentions. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]