PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JAMES PIERCE
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
- U: Uncle's Pick. Czar kept up an "Uncle" persona for a few Weeks in Year 8, but the data show that it was awarded 72 times, into the Empress era, which is not how I remember it. I'll have to look into that.
||Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it.
||Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal.
||Faux re mi
||Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians.
||Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result.
||Hyphen the Terrible
||Take the first half of any word or word combination in today's Post that is broken by a hyphen at the end of a line, and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word from the same story, and define the new word that is formed.
||H W |
||Hyphen the Terrible
||Take the first half of any hyphenated word from any story in today's newspaper and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and propose a definition of the new word you've created.
||Come up with one or more items from an underachiever's list of midlife resolutions.
||Life Is Snort
||Write a "Life is Short" entry in under 100 words, in the voice of a celebrity, living or dead.
||Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces.
||The Game of Clue
||What are some clues that someone might be any of the provided characterizations?
||Provide a headline (and, if necessary, the first line of the text) for any article that will appear in The Washington Post on this day in the year 2050.
||Show Us Up
||Combine the names of two existing TV shows (past or present) to make an entirely new show. Then, describe the show.
||Bill Us Later
||Take a well-known expression and update it for the new millennium.
||Fill in the balloons.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?
||No End in Sight
||Write the beginnings of sentences you don't want to hear the end of.
||Hyphen the Terrible
||Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition.
||H H |
||Come up with a new punctuation mark. Tell us what it looks like, and what it is used for, and use it in a sentence.
||It's No Party
||Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet.
||Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat.
||What do these devices do?
||A Laff Riot
||Take the name of a company and/or its commercial product and provide it a new definition.
||Take any direct quotation from any article in today's Washington Post and translate it into "plain English."
||THE "STY"LE INVITATIONAL
||Choose any word and emphasize a single part of it, as though you were saying the word out loud with "air quotes" around the key part. Then redefine the word. You cannot alter the spelling of the word.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]