PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MARY K. PHILLIPS
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||It All Impends
||Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons.
||Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Mate any two of the horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown and tell us the name of their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.
||Water Stupid Idea
||Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought.
||Ask a question and then answer it with a rhyme. Your answer can be as many words as you wish, but all must have the same rhyme.
||H H |
||Come up with "uh-oh" lines, statements that occur in the middle of a seemingly benign speech or conversation, suddenly alerting the listener that he is about to hear some bad news.
||SPARE EXCHANGE, BUDDY?
||Take any phone number of any business or government office in the Washington area, translate the first two digits into their constituent letters and propose any appropriate one-word exchange.
||SCANDAL IN THE WIND
||Each of the provided items is somehow related to the current presidential scandal. Tell us how.
||Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post, and make up a question to which it could be a plausible answer.
||WE RESPECTfully decline to publish any dumb entries by YOU.
||Come up with signs for a T-shirt or a bumper sticker that hide the real message in tiny type.
||2 3 |
||Explain the difference between any two of the above items.
||ASK BACKWARDS V
||Here are the answers. What are the questions?
||ASK BACKWARD IV
||You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]