PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JONATHAN PAUL

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1304 All the muse that's fit to print Present a "what if" scenario and explain its effect. H
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H W
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. H H H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H H H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. 4 H H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H W
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. H H W
820 Be Mister Language Person Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer. 2
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. 2 H H
810 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H W
799 Send Us the Bill Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together. 2
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H
759 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal. 4 H
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
705 Simile Outrageous Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references. H
696 Send Us the Bill Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together. H
656 It's Post Time Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined. H
650 King Us Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an anyday item. H
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. H
610 MASH Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. H
604 Fun for the Roses Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. H H
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add on letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
598 Site Gags Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution. H
539 Dead Letters Pay tribute in verse to someone who died in 2003. H
517 Insert Joke Here Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter. H
508 Letter Rip Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word. H H H H W
507 Crocktails Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink. 2
503 Doody and Muldoon Write poetry that out-Muldoons Paul Muldoon, the Princeton professor who won this year's Pulitzer Prize in poetry. Your poem must be a single quatrain, containing at least one rhyme and references to at least two body parts and one geographic name. 2 H
502 Picture This Who are these people? What are they doing? H H H
499 What Kind of Foal Am I? Mate any two of the horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown and tell us the name of their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces. 3 H H
497 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H H
492 Cheap Tricks Come up with extreme cost-conserving measures for these difficult economic times. H
491 Hirschfeld Follies Try to figure out which celebrities Bob Staake is trying to draw in imitation of Al Hirschfeld. H
490 Eyes on Reprise Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed. 1
489 Combo, First Blood Combine two people whose names contain a common element, as in the examples above. Then describe the person, or provide a quote he or she might have uttered. H
486 A Word From Our Co-Sponsors Come up with bills the new members of Congress might sponsor. Each bill must have at least two sponsors. 2 H H
484 Manufracturing Take any product and explain how it would be different if it were designed by a different existing company. H H H
477 A Load of Bulwer Give us the beginning of incompetently written novel. 1 H
466 Spit the Difference Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items. H
463 Retell Sales Give us the beginning of any well-known story as retold by any famous person, living or dead, except for Ronald Reagan. W
460 Pompous Assets Come up the first paragraph of a review of a real book or movie, past or present, that is narcissistic, pretentious, and self-aggrandizing. H W
457 Letter Rip Give us the beginning of a letter to the editor that is certain never to see print. H I
456 A Bad-Ask Contest You are still on Jeopardy!, and you still have to supply questions to the provided answers, but the winners will be the least funny answers. H
452 Russellmania! (1) Design one or more steps for a 12-step program for the recovering Invitationalaholic; (2) Propose a devious method by which we might lure Russell Beland back. H
448 What Kind of Foal Am I? Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races this year and propose a name for their foal. No name may exceed 18 characters, including spaces. 1
444 Advice Squad Take any letter from today's advice columns and answer it in the voice of someone famous, living or dead. 2
443 Sick Humor Come up with modern diseases of Washington life. 2 H
442 Titletales Take any real book or movie, change one word slightly, and describe the resulting new product. H
430 OMB Directive No. 2 Revisit any contest The Style Invitational has ever run, and rewrite out tawdry past by proposing a new first-prize winner serious and/or decorous enough to please the Ombudsman. W
427 Skinned Come up with events that have a smaller chance of happening than the Redskins winning the Super Bowl. H
423 Roling With Laughter Take a character from one movie, use him or her to replace a character in a second movie, and then explain how this change would affect the second movie. H H
412 Painful Climaxes Come up with statements that start really dramatically, but leave you sorta flat at the end. H H
411 X's and Oaths Take any oath, pledge, declaration or slogan and update it. T
408 What's In a Name? Take the name of any politician, living or dead, and construct an appropriate message from the letters of the name. You may use any letter as many times as you wish, and you may insert punctuation. H
405 The "Sty"le Invitational Take any word--this may include people or places--put a portion of it in "air quotes" and redefine it. You may not alter the spelling. 1 H H H
404 Balloonacy Create a comic strip of one to four panels. For your dialogue or thought balloons, you may choose from the provided menu. You may invent one line of your own. W
399 IT PAYS TO BE GENDEROUS Write a short film description that could persuade a woman that the guy movie he wants to see is really close to being a gal movie, or vice versa. 3
396 April Foals Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces. H H H H T W
395 Devilishly Clever Describe someone's special little corner of Hell. 2 H
393 Things Could Be Verse Take any story in today's Washington Post and rewrite it into a rhyming poem of no more than eight lines. H
390 Canine Fashion Write: 1. A caption for the provided image explaining what is happening; 2. An explanation of why the image is not photography but art; 3. A description of what additional items might be needed to make the image complete. Sex and potty jokes will be disqualified. H
387 By Jingo Come up with a joke that could be written and understood only by a Washingtonian. W
384 What's Your Story? Take at least four of the provided cartoons, arrange them in any sequence you wish, and make up a funny story that they would illustrate. H
383 A Kinder, Gender Nation Take an noun and give us a reason or two why it should be either masculine or feminine. H
382 Pickup Schticks Write inept pickup lines, by either sex, to either sex. W
381 Idiom Savant Take any well-known idiom, or expression, and invent an interesting derivation for it. H
380 The New-Name Offense Propose changes for the names of places and things that need it, either because there is something wrong with their name, or because another name would be so much more descriptive. H H
379 Rather Unusual Come up with lines that could be uttered by Dan Rather, with his unbearably folksy excesses. 1
377 Week MMDCXLIV Provide a headline (and, if necessary, the first line of the text) for any article that will appear in The Washington Post on this day in the year 2050. H H
375 Show Us Up Combine the names of two existing TV shows (past or present) to make an entirely new show. Then, describe the show. H I W
372 Trial Balloons Fill in the balloons. H
371 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H H
367 Future Schlock Come up with a line that will surely not appear in an upcoming work. 3 H
365 Terse Verse Ask a question and then answer it with a rhyme. Your answer can be as many words as you wish, but all must have the same rhyme. 3 H H
364 Low Marks Come up with a new punctuation mark. Tell us what it looks like, and what it is used for, and use it in a sentence. H
359 It's No Party Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet. H W
358 Finish the Fire Finish "We Didn't Start the Fire," to summarize 1990 to the present. H H
357 Coming to a Bad End Take some immortal line from literature or film and ruin it by adding a short phrase or sentence. H
356 Med Icks Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H H H H
355 Seeing Stars Tell us ways we can attract celebrity participation to this contest. H H
352 A Laff Riot Take the name of a company and/or its commercial product and provide it a new definition. H H
351 Dubya Fun Take any well-known statement, expression, slogan, etc., and rewrite it the way Dubya might have said it. H H H W
350 Employing Irony Propose bad career choices. 2 H H
348 When We're LXIV Fashion an entry by selecting one from each of the provided menu groups. 2
346 Greasy Kids Tough Take any news event from history, recent of ancient, large or small, and rewrite it in 100 words or fewer as it might have appeared in KidsPost. H H
345 Picture This What is going on in these cartoons? H H
344 What Kind of Foal Am I? Envision the mating of any two of the 387 horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown, and propose a name for their foal. The foal's name must be contained in 18 or fewer letters and spaces. H H
343 Eastwood Ho. Create a Good-Bad-Ugly progression. H H
341 What's In a Name? Write something about any famous person that uses only the letters in his or her name. P
340 ASK BACKWARDS 12 You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? H H
339 Campaignful Developments Come up with signs that a presidential campaign might be in trouble. H H
338 WHO WANTS TO WIN A TOILET? Propose even greater depths of shameless, tasteless sleaze to which Fox TV is likely to sink after the noisome debacle of "Who Wants to Marry and Multi-Millionaire?" 3
336 THE "STY"LE INVITATIONAL Choose any word and emphasize a single part of it, as though you were saying the word out loud with "air quotes" around the key part. Then redefine the word. You cannot alter the spelling of the word. 3 H H
335 A LOVER'S SPAT Enter the contest that is run by the editor of your choice. U
334 The New Style Invitational: Six Choice for Czar Vote for one of six possible editors of the Style Invitation, from among the current Czar and five worthy competitors. H H W
327 ASK BACKWARDS You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
324 A PREQUEL OPPORTUNITY OFFERING Come up with a "prequel" to some classic film or work of literature. You must produce a title and a brief plot summary, which or course must take place prior to the main action of the original work. H H
317 PICK US A WINNER Come up with flawed contest ideas, and the single, obvious, too-good-to-beat entry. E H H
315 FERMENTING TROUBLE Write a rhyming poem, eight lines maximum, on the subject of cheese or any of the provided items. 2 I
313 THE STYLE INVITATIONAL SOUVENIR SHOP Come up with bad names for a new store at a mall. E
312 BOOKS AND BOOKS Combine any two works of literature--no movies or TV--into one, give its title and describe it in a brief, appealing blurb that might appear in Publishers' Weekly. H
311 A JERRY-BUILT CONTEST Find cleverly disguised threats to public morality or hallowed American values that may be secretly lurking out there in our culture. H
310 IT'S LIKE THIS Come up with really lame analogies. H H
309 A STINKING PILE OF THESES Write an all-purpose first line or paragraph for any doctoral dissertation, design to impress the heck out of academics. 2
308 GIVE US NO MO Write an update version of those old children's selecting rhymes. Your rhyme must (1) rhyme and (2) conform, at least loosely, to a point-and-shoot cadence that permits the elimination of one item from a group. H H
306 YOUNGIAN THERAPY Suggest ways in which the Style Invitational or any other Washington area institution can become more relevant to younger people. E
305 ASK BACKWARDS CMXVI2 You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? 5 H
304 TIME OF THE SIGNS Come up with appropriate signage to appear outside any business or retail establishment in the Washington area, including government offices. H
303 BOOM TIMES Come up with old and new concerns for the baby boom generation. H
302 UNSTATED TRUTHS Come up with lines that you'll never hear the provided people say. H H
301 PICTURE THIS What is happening in these cartoons? H W
300 A BRAND NEW CONTEST Come up with celebrity-brand products. 1 H H H
298 THE RIGHT STUFF Write a sentence, or phrase, or entire passage, using only your right hand on the keyboard. This means who may use no keys to the left of N, H, Y and 7. E H
297 FREE FOR OIL Take any article in today's paper, and write an outraged letter to the editor about it that totally misses the point, either by misreading a word or misunderstanding the topic. E
295 PANEL DISCUSSION Supply the contents the missing panel in the provided cartoon strips. H
288 PICTURE THIS What is happening in these pictures? W
287 BEFORE AND AFTERMATH Begin with a real name, append to it a word, name or expression that completes the bridge, and finally define the resulting phrase. H
284 ASK BACKWARDS MCLXVII You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? 3 H H H
282 TAKING SNIDES Take any story anywhere in today's Post and append to it a single snide observation, concerning either the headline or the text of the story. E
281 CALCULATE THE ODDS Tell us which of the two provided items does not belong with the other two, and why. H
279 TREACLE-DOWN THEORY Come up with a treacly and deeply moving piece of crap. It must somehow mine joy and goopy inspiration from the vicissitudes of life. It must also rhyme. 1 E
278 THE STALE INVITATIONAL Begin with a word. Add, subtract or change a single letter only, and then provide a new definition. H H H H
277 LIFE IN THE BLURBS Come up a simple plot summary to help attract the modern audience to any classic work of fiction. It must be literally true and defensible. 3 H H H
276 SPIT THE DIFFERENCE Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items. H
274 THE DROLL OF A LIFETIME Be the New Yorker comics editor, and explain to readers of The Washington Post why the provided jokes are charmingly witty. H
273 UNSEENS WE'D LIKE TO SEE Provide examples of any of the provided categories of thing that will never happen. H H
272 PICTURE THIS What is happening in these cartoons? H
271 YOGI BEARER Come up with new Yogi-isms, which seem to make sense, but collapse like a soufflé when you poke it a little H
269 SIGNS, AND THE TIMES Come up with new, helpful signage for downtown streets. You must state the problem, and propose the sign to rectify it. H
266 DEFINITELY WEIRD Take any word from the dictionary and redefine it. H
265 A SPORK OF GENIUS Come up with new products like the spork: combinations of two existing products that work together in some special way. Name the device and explain its function. 1 P
264 ASK BACKWARDS You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? E H
263 THE GAME OF THE NAME Propose a bad name for the provided categories. H
262 CAMPAIGN FOR ONE Design a line for Niels Hoven to deliver in his campaign for a student government office that will wake up a snoozing audience. H H W
261 WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY II Alter some crucial moment in history, and then tell us the likely outcome. H
260 IT'S A SNAP Come up with replacements for the two hackneyed answers: "Is the Pope Catholic?" and "When Hell freezes over." 1 4 H H
259 SPARE EXCHANGE, BUDDY? Take any phone number of any business or government office in the Washington area, translate the first two digits into their constituent letters and propose any appropriate one-word exchange. H
258 IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A PAIN. Choose one or more of the provided super powers and tell us what you would do with it. H
256 THE PYLE INVITATIONAL Come up with hip, contemporary riddles and answers. The punch line must contain a painful pun. 1 E H
253 IT'S A PITY Enter any of the provided contests. Winners will be judged entirely on the basis of how pitiful an attempt at humor the entry is. 1 H H H H H
252 MAKE YOUR MOVIE Propose people who were the secret inspiration for famous movies. H H
250 OH, GREAT Complete the sentence "Wouldn't it be great if …" H
247 BLACK AND WHITE AND WED ALL OVER Propose the marriage of any two people, and the song they should not play at their wedding. The people must be a man and a woman. H
245 LIKE FUN Complete any of the provided "A is like B because" sentences. H
241 CAN YOU BEAT THIS? Come up with headlines describing the defeat of one pro team by another. 4 H
240 ADDING INSULT Come up with elegant insults directed at any famous person, living or dead, such as the real encomiums above. E
239 NAME THAT TOON Send us the captions for cartoons not provided. 2 H
238 CHALK IT UP TO STUPIDITY Propose apologies for yourself in the style of Bart Simpson writing on his blackboard. 1 H
237 ASK BACKWARD You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? 3 H
236 CALLING THE TOON. What is happening here? H H H
235 ROOTS Make up historical explanations--they should be vaguely plausible--for the etymology of any term you wish. The term should be the punch line. E
233 SEEKING PARODY Take any paragraph appearing on Page A1 of today's Washington Post, and rewrite it in the style of any famous writer. 3
232 PRIMAL URGES Update, for the millennium, the old "A is for Apple" reading primer. An entry must include the four letters in one of these blocks: A-D, E-H, I-L, M-P, Q-T, U-Z. H
230 TALES FROM THE CRYPTOGRAM Take any proper noun--a person, a book, a movie, whatever--and create for it an appropriate cryptogram. H H
228 MAKE MY DAY Supply advice to today's spoiled kids about how bad things were when we were growing up. H
227 WILD PITCHES Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created represent it. H H
226 GOING WITHOUT Complete some variation of the expression "An A without a B is like a C without a D." H H W
225 WE RESPECTfully decline to publish any dumb entries by YOU. Come up with signs for a T-shirt of a bumper sticker that hide the real message in tiny type. 4
223 ATTEMPTING REENTRY Submit entries to any past contest, so long as you never submitted them before. H
221 SONG SUNG BROWN Pick any song, pick a well-known line, and give us the discarded first draft. If it is part of a rhyme, you must maintain the rhyme. E
219 VERBOSITY Come up with new, obnoxious, self-conscious faux verbs and use them in sentences. 1 H
217 NO QUESTION ABOUT IT Come up with truly stupid questions. I
215 SON OF A PITCH Write lavish blurbs in 50 words or fewer so some sucker will want to pay a lot of money for the provided items. 1 E H H H H H H
214 ASK BACKWARDS IX You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions? H
212 DUMB AS THE POST Come up with even stupider crimes than those committed by Montgomery County's "gentleman burglars." E H H H H
210 RANDOM MEMO Supply embarrassing "While You Were Out" phone messages that might be left for famous people, in plain sight, while they are away from their desks. H
208 SEND IN THE CLONES Suggest question a commission to investigate the moral, legal and practical question raised by cloning might consider. H H H
203 CAN IT GET MUCH VERSE? Create Very Bad Poetry, containing banalities masquerading as profundities, overstretch metaphors, etc. Special attention should be paid to dreadful syntax and painful rhyme H H
199 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items. H
197 DAVE'S WORLD Make David Twenhafel laugh. Any sort of delightful drollery or amusing witticism will do, so long as it is not the sort of lowbrow fare we usually favor. H
196 YOU MUST BE MAD Come up with a contemporary Scene We'd Like to See. E
195 THE MARTHIAN CHRONICLES Come up with items for Martha Stewart's December-January calendar of projects. H
194 ADVICE SQUAD Answer any of the provided questions unwisely. H
192 HILL'S BILLS Come up with bills any of the new members of Congress might jointly sponsor. E H
191 GOING THROUGH A PHRASE Come up with phrase for an American English phrasebook that would provide no practical help whatsoever to a foreigner trying to get along in the United States. H
190 OFFICE YOU CAN'T REFUSE Come up with a Principle for the Workplace. 1
189 YOU CAN PRANK ON IT Come up with a hoax or prank that begins with any of the provided scenarios. 2 2
187 RACE TO THE FINISH LINE In 75 words or fewer, continue in a productive fashion the story line of the provided real first lines of famous literary works. H H W
183 COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG II Create hawkers' rhymes for modern-day occupations like lobbyists, lawyers, talk show hosts, actuaries, etc., at a maximum of four lines. It must contain at least one rhyme. H H I
182 CAN YOU STOP THIS? Come up with a conversation stopper, a line likely to end all further discourse, perhaps even empty a room. 1 H H H
179 A CLOCKWORK, UM, UM, ... ER Write single sentences containing no fewer than three examples of rhyming slang. W
177 SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE Tell us what any of the provided sounds are. H I
176 WRITE IN THE KISSER In the style of any famous author, write a description of any one of these people: Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Prince Charles or Sylvester Stallone. L
175 FOSSIL FOOLS What would aliens mistakenly conclude about us from any of the provided items? H
173 DEAD RECKONING Propose a question that might be asked by a living celebrity to a famous dead person. You must name the living person, name the dead person, and tell us the question. 5 H
171 ON SECOND THOUGHT Ideas that never got off the drawing board, for good reason. H W
169 DIFF'RENT JOKES Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items. H H
168 LICENSE TO CARRY A PUN Come up with original jokes like those provided. 2 L
167 CRAPSEY Resurrect the "cinquain," a long-deceased poetic form, poems so ickily precocious and pretentious they make haiku look like Kipling. There are five lines, the first containing two syllables, the second containing four syllables, the third six, the fourth eight and the last, with grave finality and thunderous drama, only two. Your subject matter must be suitable for the 1990s. 3 H
165 WHEEL OF TORTURE Complete any of the provided "Wheel of Fortune" phrases. H H
164 MEAN MEANINGS Translate things politicians say into what they really mean. H H H H
163 WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I? Take the list of all 1996 Triple Crown nominees, couple up any two of them, and propose an appropriate name for their hypothetical foal. The foal's name must fit in no more than 18 characters, including spaces. P
162 MAY WE HAVE YOUR PRETENSION, PLEASE? Come up with the most pretentious original sentence possible. H
161 CAPITOL MISTAKES Come up with very, very bad advice for first-time visitors to Washington. L
158 SO SUE US Come up with frivolous lawsuits. H
157 WARNING SIGNS Complete any of these "you might be about to" warning sentences. E
151 STRIP MINING Come up with a concept for a new, controversial strip to replace an existing one in The Post. H H H
149 O, NO! Come up with a palindrome, a line that reads the same backward and forward, and then use it as a punchline to a joke. E
148 RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD IV Interpret these ink blots. H
147 JUST FOR LIFFS Come up original liffs, which identify a familiar, tantalizing concept with a word to define, it pairs it with a perfectly good by underutilized words that just loafs around on maps and street signs. H
145 LOOIE, LOOIE Come up with paired, themed ladies' room and men's room signs for various types of public places. 1 H
144 JUST REBUS ALONE Come up with a rebus, a phrase or sentence composed of letters, pictures, and symbols. Your entry must contain at least two pictures or illustrations from today's Washington Post. W
140 WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY? Come up "What-If" scenarios and logical outcomes. H H
136 NEW END IN SIGHT Come up with new endings to make literary classics more suitable for Hollywood in the 1990s. 4 H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]