||Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen.
||Of D.C. I Sing
||Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune.
||So What's the News?
||Tell us what the illustrated events are.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions.
||Boor Us Silly
||Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences.
||Thine Ad Goest Here
||Propose biblical and other literary passages, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement.
||Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink.
||Create a sentence that uses each letter of the alphabet at least once but that would never be heard on the politically correct, genteel, rarified air of NPR.
||Water Stupid Idea
||Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought.
||H H |
||Suggest appropriate hotel check-in names for any celebrities, past or present, living or dead.
||Get Your But in Here
||Produce a line that fits this structure: (Real thing based upon current events) is (word or phrase suggesting some quality) but (other word or phrase suggesting a dissimilar or incompatible quality), like (funny analogy).
||The Telegraph Poll
||Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line.
||Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page.
||H H |
||Nice Job, if You Get It
||Take anything that might need its image enhanced and rename it in a way the keeps its essential identity, but makes it seem nicer.
||H W |
||No End in Sight
||Write the beginnings of sentences you don't want to hear the end of.
||H H |
||Create a Good-Bad-Ugly progression.
||H H |
||Complete any of the provided "A is like B because" sentences.
||Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created to represent it.
||COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG II
||Create hawkers' rhymes for modern-day occupations like lobbyists, lawyers, talk show hosts, actuaries, etc., at a maximum of four lines. It must contain at least one rhyme.
||SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE
||Tell us what any of the provided sounds are.
||ON SECOND THOUGHT
||Ideas that never got off the drawing board, for good reason.
||Make up a knock-knock joke. The subject of the third line must be something crude, silly, or profound.
||Complete this sentence, "I should be elected President of the United States because…" and launch your campaign.
||H I |
||GIVE US THE BACKS OFF OUR SHIRTS.
||What should our loser's T-shirt say on the back? Your goal is to somehow capture the spirit of the contest.
||Come up with snappy answers to stupid questions.
||2 H |
||WHY IS POOP FUNNY?
||Come up with creative answers to any of the five questions above that might be asked by a 5-year-old.
||THE UNKINDEST CUTE OF ALL
||Come up with a new story line for "Peanuts", some plot development or new character that will put the strip back on the road to relevance.
||Take any photo caption or headline appearing anywhere in today's Post and alter its meaning by adding, deleting, or changing one letter.
||WRITE PURE POETRY
||Write a complete sentence using only the letters contained on the top row of a typewriter. Alternatively, you can use the letters of the first four lines of the standard eye chart.
||Come up with the first drafts of great lines in history, entertainment or literature.
||Create poems so bad they thud. The first line must be a name. The second line can be as long or as short as you wish. The third line must sound the same as the first line, using the name as a verb or some other part of speech.
||HELP! I'M A PRISONER IN THIS CONTEST
||Come up with fortune cookie messages that you would love to see, but never will.
||HEY, IT COULD BE WORSE
||There are worse things in life than the Washington Redskins. Just tell us what they are.
||NOT WRONG. JUST INCORRECT.
||What's next on the political correctness agenda?
||INSPECT A GADGET
||What do these machines do?
||6 H H |
||FATAL ART ATTACK
||In 50 words or fewer, describe a performance art concept that might get public funding. Winners will be audacious enough to seem like art, but pretentious enough to seem to have a social "message."
||Come up with an unfortunate slogan for any real product, service, or organization.
||CASTING ABOUT FOR AN IDEA
||Name a political person (past or present) and the TV or movie role in which he or she could have been cast.