This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know,

Key to Ink Types:

1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. P
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H
917 Wryku Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks. H
877 Quipped from the headlines Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news. I
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H
865 No Googlenopes left Come up with a humorous Googlenope. H
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H
815 Wittecisms Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, an I, two T's and an E. H
808 Take Us At Our Words Create a humorous poem or other writing using only the words contained in this week's Style Invitational column or results. 4
803 The Pepys Show Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history. H I
802 Dreck TV Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming. H
798 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008. H
781 Our Greatest Hit Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. H
778 Tied Games Combine any two sports or nonathletic activities into a single sport or game. 3
773 Always Looking for Sects Coin a religion or belief system and tell us its basic tenet or distinguishing characteristic. H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H
758 Wrong Address Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage. 2 H I I
752 The Might-Mates Right Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates. H H
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. 2
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H H H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
741 Well, What Do You Know? Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations. H
738 So What's To Liken? Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar. H
735 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731. H W
734 Turnaround Time Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other. H
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. M
730 Time-Wastes For Everyman Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time. W
725 Beggars For Description Describe, without being boring, a cartoon to fit any of the provided captions. M T
724 Abridged Too Far Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines. H
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H
717 Pitch Us a No-Hitter Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits. H H H
716 The Hard Spell Write a humorous poem featuring one of the 75 words we've selected from this year's National Spelling Bee. H H H
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. 2
700 Stump Us Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign. H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H
684 Backtricking Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word. 2 H
677 The News Gets Verse Sum up wittily in verse -- but not a limerick -- any article appearing in The Post or on from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4. H


Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"


"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.

[still working on this ...]