PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MIKE OSTAPIEJ

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1401 How hai? A joke-haiku contest Write a joke (roughly) in the "It's so xxx" genre as a haiku. H
1397 Trope springs eternal Use any of the four provided standard settings -- (a) desert island, (b) bartender at a bar, (c) desert, (d) psychiatrist next to a couch -- and describe a cartoon that includes your choice of characters, along with a caption. H H
1393 Second chance (acned conches?) for anagrams Describe any of the provided anagram businesses, or offer its slogan. L
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1217 Mergers you wrote: Combine two businesses with puns Give a clever name for a combination of two or more businesses. H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect them some other way. W
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1078 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of any hyphenated word or compound term with one side of another word to make a new hyphenated term, and define it humorously. Both halves must appear in the same issue of The Post or another print newspaper, or in writing published the same day on washingtonpost.com or another online publication. H M
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. H M
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1051 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news. 3
1050 Just redo it Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046. H
1049 Be rating Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. H H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title from a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H
959 Out of network Move a current or former TV program (or type of programming) to a different network and explain what would change. H
957 Fearful Symmetry Write a clever passage whose successive words are one letter longer until the middle of the passage, and then become one letter shorter. H
920 Sarchiasm Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect. I
910 Your ad here Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it. H H H
908 Recast away Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role. 3 H
907 Naming rite Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one. H H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. T
901 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. M
828 Inhuman Puns Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it. T
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. W
821 Spit the Difference How are any of the items on the list above alike or different? M
819 Art Re-View These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they? H T
818 Name the Day Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan. H
816 Googillions Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search. H
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. H
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." H
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. H
807 Pretty Graphic Expressions Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. T
806 DQ Very Much Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere). H H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H T
804 Our Type o' Joke Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it. H
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. H
790 If Only! Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred. M
789 Doctrine in The House? State a humorous, original "doctrine" for a person or other entity. H H H I M
786 Top of the Staake So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest. H
785 The Ballad Box Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune. H T
784 Words to The Wiseacres Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life. 4 H
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. H H H H H H
782 That's the Ticket! Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States. H
781 Our Greatest Hit Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. M
779 Gripe for the Picking Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post. T
772 Make It Simile, Stupid Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. W
767 Questionable Journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]