PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MARY OLSON
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Take any of the provided witty statements and use the first letters in each of the words to create a brand-new, unrelated funny statement.
||ASK BACKWARD IV
||You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?
||H H |
||A GRAVE AFFAIR
||Write appropriate epitaphs for the not-yet-dead.
||A SLALOM OCCASION
||Come up with events for a Washington Olympics. They can be winter or summer sports, based on bureaucracy or other themes peculiar to Washington, and must include a brief description of the event.
||H H |
||CAN YOU DO VERSE?
||Bad Valentine's Day poetry. Any rhyme scheme, any form of literary dysfunction.
||INVITATION TO A DUAL, II.
||Deliver us a Good News-Bad News scenario.
||HEY, IT COULD BE WORSE
||There are worse things in life than the Washington Redskins. Just tell us what they are.
||ASK BACKWARDS II
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]