PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DOUGLAS OLSON
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
- I: Idea for Contest.
||Come up with old and new concerns for the baby boom generation.
||H H |
||FAMOUS LAST WORDS
||Make up the last words of famous dead people whose last words are unknown.
||A GRAVE AFFAIR
||Write appropriate epitaphs for the not-yet-dead.
||H H |
||CALLING THE TOON
||Who are these people, and what are they doing?
||WAY OUTSIDE THE LINES
||Name a new crayon color for the 1990s, with a description.
||ASK BACKWARDS II
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?
||INSPECT A GADGET
||What do these machines do?
||FATAL ART ATTACK
||In 50 words or fewer, describe a performance art concept that might get public funding. Winners will be audacious enough to seem like art, but pretentious enough to seem to have a social "message."
||INVITATION TO A DUAL
||Divide the world into two types of people.
||PUNCH US IN THE EAR
||Give us a motto for The Washington Post.
||H L |
||Modernize collective nouns (as in a "pride" of lions or an "exaltation" of larks), inventing snide new names for groups of things.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]