This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know,

Key to Ink Types:

1326 Foaling around "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1297 A different type o' headline contest Change a letter in an article or ad in the Post or another publication dated Sept. 13-24 by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting a letter; transposing two letters; or changing spacing or punctuation; and then add a "bank head." H
1290 Bobbing for Witte words Come up with both an object/situation and a neologism for it. H
1288 Your results may vary Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. W
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. H
1218 Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" H
1210 Send us the bill: Our 'joint legislation' game Combine two or more names from the provided list of members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. T
1209 Invented facts: A fictoid contest Tell us a humorously untrue account of how a product or invention came to be, or got its name. H
1194 Nyetymologies: fake word origins Provide a humorously untrue explanation for the derivation of a word. I
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle H
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H
1180 Strip search! Find a line of text from any comic strip or panel that appears on the Post's comics pages or on, dated anywhere between June 16 and June 27, and either (a) supply a question that the original line could answer, or (b) follow it with your own line of dialogue or reply. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1132 You and what army? Military fictoids Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs. H
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. H
1116 Punning in place Create a new term using only the letters in a place name. You don't have to use all the letters, but you can't use a letter more often than it appears in the word. H
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. W
1106 Show your resolve Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future. I
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. L
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". P
1096 Picture this Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons. H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H
1087 The core ridiculum Come up with a comical class (any type of school) and provide a course catalog description. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. H H
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. H
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. H H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. H L
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
946 Another round of Bierce Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term. H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. 4
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H
911 Help! Create a short humorous dialogue -- or a monologue featuring one party -- of a phone call to 911, or a call for help to someone else. T
896 Other people's business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. T
889 Tour de Fours VII Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters P, O, L and E. H
888 It's the eponymy, stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence H
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." H
880 Our greatest hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. I
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. H
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. 3
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. M
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H
848 Up and addin' Compose a humorous rhopalic sentence (or multiple sentences) in which each word is one letter longer than the previous word. H
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. H H
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H H
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. M
816 Googillions Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search. H H
813 Aw, Shocks Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not." H
811 Rock-Bottom Lines Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse. H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H
802 Dreck TV Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming. W
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. P
796 Sincerest Flattery Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote. H
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. I
793 Take The Fifth Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 725 through Week 789. Each entry must include the word "five" of "fifth" or something fiveish, or -- depending on your favorite anniversary tradition -- something involving (a) wood or (b) silverware. 4 T
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H H
784 Words to The Wiseacres Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life. M
781 Our Greatest Hit Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
776 An Act of Sunny Side Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events. M
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H T
771 Groaner's Manuals Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization. H
770 A Knack for Anachronism Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age. H H H
768 The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious Come up with fictitious movie trivia. T
766 Think to Shudder Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above. I
764 Can You Up Chuck? Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris Facts. T
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H
760 Whacksy Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. H
753 Hot Off The Riddle Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer. A
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
745 Hurry Up and Slow Down! Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up. H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H W
740 Give Us a Hint Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well. H H
730 Time-Wastes For Everyman Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time. 1
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. H
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. H
701 Untitlement Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about? M
700 Stump Us Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign. H
689 Busted Play Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket. H
688 Making Short Work Write a humorous six-word story. M
687 What Were They Thinking? Tell us (A) What someone might say in some situation, and (B) what that person was actually thinking when he said A. H L
683 What a Piece of Work String together words in a single scene, or two consecutive scenes, of "Hamlet" to produce one or more funny sentences, preferably unrelated to the original content. The words must appear in the order in which they appear in the play. H
673 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H
670 A Test of Character Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H H
662 How Low Will You Go? Humiliate yourself for ink, and a stupid prize. T
656 It's Post Time Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined. H
654 It Plays to Recycle Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas. T
646 Warped Perspectives Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons. H H T
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H H
641 Dreck of All Trades Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it. H
639 What's the Small Idea? Do you have a senseless idea for improving the day-to-day lives of everyday Americans? H
636 A Song From Tex Arcana Write a verse of a song about sea urchin sushi or any of the other provided ostensibly unlyrical topics. T
634 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H
628 You Gotta Have Connections Choose any two or more items from the provided truly random list and describe how they are alike or different. T
617 Best the Best Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name. H
613 Tour de Fours II Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order. T
604 Fun for the Roses Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. H
601 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote in response to one of the provided Editor's Query topics. H
598 Site Gags Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution. H
587 The B-List Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings. H
580 United Nations Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country. I
575 T Hee Hee Come up with new ideas for both front and back of the Loser T-shirts. H
574 Boor Us Silly Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences. H
570 Timeline Rhyme Lines Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter. T
564 Redefine Print Redefine any word from the dictionary. H
560 The 97.5-Meter Dash Suggest some time- and cost-saving measures so the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens will open on time. I
559 Your Slogan Here Come up with a clever slogan or sign for a business. H
553 Picture This Tell us what's going on in one or more of the provided cartoons. P
552 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces. H
543 Read Our Leaps Fill any readers of The Washington Post on Sunday, Feb. 29, 2032, on: (a) the day's lead news story; (b) the highest-flying company and its business; (c) the best-selling self-help book; and/or (d) the day's winning Style Invitational entry. H
542 Discombobulate Us Come up with both an object/situation and a neologism for it, something that Bob Levey would never have stooped to print in his column. H
532 Short Pans Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art. I
526 Conventional Wisdumb Answer any of the provided questions. H
508 Letter Rip Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word. H
490 Eyes on Reprise Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed. H H
487 Eee! Rotica Come with a passage in a novel that ineptly describes hanky-panky. I
478 Do You Mindset? Anticipate items for the Mindset List for the freshman class of the year 2020. I
477 A Load of Bulwer Give us the beginning of incompetently written novel. I
476 Portmanteautapping Make a new word by squishing together two existing words. The constituent words must share at least two letters. I
470 Czar Har Take the name of someone famous, rhyme it with a product, and describe the unholy union. H
455 Comixing Create new comic characters by crossing two existing characters, then describe the character. H
454 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
445 Another Round of Bierce Add a few entries to Ambrose Bierce's famous "Devil's Dictionary." I
440 Picture This What is going on in these cartoons? H
437 The Telegraph Poll Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line. H
423 Roling With Laughter Take a character from one movie, use him or her to replace a character in a second movie, and then explain how this change would affect the second movie. H
422 Taught Language Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page. I
408 What's In a Name? Take the name of any politician, living or dead, and construct an appropriate message from the letters of the name. You may use any letter as many times as you wish, and you may insert punctuation. H
396 April Foals Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces. H
388 Pitches in the Dirt Come up with a sales pitch to get any surplus product off the shelves. H
386 The Game of Clue What are some clues that someone might be any of the provided characterizations? H
380 The New-Name Offense Propose changes for the names of places and things that need it, either because there is something wrong with their name, or because another name would be so much more descriptive. H
379 Rather Unusual Come up with lines that could be uttered by Dan Rather, with his unbearably folksy excesses. I
360 No Competition Create a list of 25 names, each linked in some way to the name before, and you must begin and end with Mary Ann Madden. H
355 Seeing Stars Tell us ways we can attract celebrity participation to this contest. H
354 Everyone's a Critic Adopt the style of a famous writer and review any of the provided dishes. H
351 Dubya Fun Take any well-known statement, expression, slogan, etc., and rewrite it the way Dubya might have said it. H
334 The New Style Invitational: Six Choices for Czar Vote for one of six possible editors of the Style Invitation, from among the current Czar and five worthy competitors. H


Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"


"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.

[still working on this ...]