||Time marches Swiftly
||Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed").
||Give us a hint
||Write a humorously witty story in 25 words or fewer.
||Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words.
||Pitch Us a No-Hitter
||Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits.
||Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion.
||H I |
||It's the Eponymy, Stupid
||Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence
||H H |
||Take a Letter -- Again
||Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.
||Love the Tiny Tail Stain
||Write an anagram based on a name or event that's been in the news recently.
||Show Us Your Best Quantities
||Come up with novel units of measure, and explain or quantify them.
||Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art.
||Say, Kids, What Time Is It?
||Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: "You know it's time to ------ when ------."
||Come up with extreme cost-conserving measures for these difficult economic times.
||Combo, First Blood
||Combine two people whose names contain a common element, as in the examples above. Then describe the person, or provide a quote he or she might have uttered.
||No Rest for the Query
||Come up with a vexing, funny question about life.
||H H |
||Give us an obit headline for some famous person, currently living or dead.
||In No Uncertain Terminations
||Come up with a way to stop any unwanted overture in its tracks.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]