PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DANIELLE NOWLIN

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1281 We only have (googly) eyes for you Send us a photo of something that you have made funny by pasting googly eyes on it; funny titles and captions are optional. H H
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. 3 H H
1279 Just do it -- the 'real' way List some "accurate" directions for using some product or completing some tak. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. 2 H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. H
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. W
1271 Yodel Doyle's praises with a D-O-Y-L-E neologism Coin a new word or phrase that contains the letters D, O, Y, L and E. H H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. H H
1267 Jingle bungle Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle. H
1263 Playing the short game Using the three-letter Olympic national abbreviations and/or the abbreviation for any college, tell what would happen if one abbreviated team played another. H H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. T
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. W
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H H H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. 4 H H H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. 4
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H H
1217 Mergers you wrote: Combine two businesses with puns Give a clever name for a combination of two or more businesses. H H H
1210 Send us the bill: Our 'joint legislation' game Combine two or more names from the provided list of members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1206 Do-over the do-over -- enter any of the year's contests Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1202, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1201 Tour de Fours XIII: What's there to NOVE? Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block N-O-V-E. 4
1198 Give it to us straight Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication dated Oct. 20 to Oct. 31 — or from an online article dated within that period — and translate it into “plain English,” 2 L
1196 Hyphen the Terrible Combine either half of a hyphenated word or compound term with either half of another such term to create a new hyphenated term, and describe the result humorously. T
1195 Don't change a letter! Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result. H H H
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  2 H
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle H H
1190 You're workin' on a chain, gang Create a chain of no more than 15 proper nouns — names of people (real or fictional), products, places, etc. — including one title of a work — in which each T
1188 Just short words, one more time Explain some concept or philosophy entirely in words of one syllable. H
1187 Just drop it, okay? Drop the last letter from an existing word, phrase or name and define the result. H H W
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. 4
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H
1184 Plan C -- a third candidate? Explain why some novel person (or thing) should be president; you could also suggest a president-veep ticket. H
1181 Put it in Bee-verse Write a short, humorous poem using one of the 36 provided words, all from the 2016 National Spelling Bee. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. H H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. 4 H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H H
1172 Pieces of 'Pie' Write a short passage -- an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything -- using only words that appear in the song "American Pie". 4 M T
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H W
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. 4 H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. 3 T
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. 4 H H
1159 It's all in the game Come up with a funny/ridiculous board-type game and describe it. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H H H H
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1156 Dead letters Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2015. H H
1153 Be three-paired Choose two or more entities represented by a single three-letter combination from IAA through LZZ, found at the provided link, and say how they are alike or different or have some connection. M
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H M
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. H
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. P
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. T
1147 It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H H M
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H H T
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. M
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H H H W
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H
1139 A little sixty-four play Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii). T
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1132 You and what army? Military fictoids Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs. W
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. H H
1128 Drone for a loop Give us some novel uses for a CICADA micro-drone, assuming that anyone can get one, and that it can have a micro-camera, micro-grips, etc. 2 H
1127 From the creators of … Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue. H
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. 4 H
1123 The Tile Invitational III Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets. H H H H H
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. 3 H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H W
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H T
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. H H H
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. 4 H
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". 2 H
1096 Picture this Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoon. 2 H
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H M
1092 Are we having funds yet? Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization. 3 H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. H W
1089 It's E-Z Find-a-Word -- your own! Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H H
1088 Ask backwards with our answers, your questions Supply the questions to as many of the 16 supplies answers as you like. H M
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. H H M
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. H M
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. H H
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H H
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H M W
1069 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem of no more than eight lines -- it doesn't have to rhyme -- using only the top 1,000 words on Wiktionary.org's list of the most common among 20 million words found in movie and TV scripts. M
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. H H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. H H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. T
1063 Same difference Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different. 3 H M
1062 Scanning the headlines Write a rhyming poem about something currently in the news. H H W
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. H T
1057 Sportin' lie Give us some fake sports trivia. H H T
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. H H
1054 Dead letters Write a short, humorous poem commemorating someone (or maybe even something) who died in 2013. H H L
1053 Questionable journalism Quote an actual sentence, from The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com, or another print or online publication dated between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6, and follow it with a question that the sentence might answer. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1051 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news. H
1050 Just redo it Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046. H H H H
1049 Be rating Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. H H M
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H W
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. 4 H H
1044 Play it safe Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere. M
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

H
1038 It's like this, see Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels. 2 H
1037 Outrage us Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc. H H
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. H H H H
1035 The Empy 500 Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". 2 T
1032 Hid stuff Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer. H H H
1030 The cinquain feeling Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two. H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. H M
1028 Joint Legiflation Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". H H M T
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. 3 H H
1026 'Might' makes ink Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates. H H
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. 2 H H H
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H H
1022 What's the diff? Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different. M
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. 2 H H H T
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H H
1019 What a turnoff Tell us some creative things that children and families could do during Screen-Free Week. H H
1018 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time. H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. 4 T
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. H H H
1012 The news at 5 Write a limerick about a recent news event. 3 H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
1010 Picture this Write a caption for any of the five provided cartoons. H H H
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1005 Send us the bill Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or more of the 98 new House and Senate members provided. H
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition from any other the listed OED words. 4
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]