PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JAMES NOBLE
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc.
||Clue us in
||Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid.
||H H |
||What's not to liken?
||Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories.
||It's easy as DEF
||Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward.
||Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it.
||Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction.
||Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song.
||Frittering away the neurons
||Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form.
||Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D.
||Provide a caption for any of these pictures.
||Clue Us In
||You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid.
||A Big To-Do
||Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character.
||H H |
||Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it.
||Name a real product or company and supply a stupid question or complaint for the consumer hotline person.
||The Inside Word
||Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word.
||What's going on in any of these cartoons?
||Oh, and One More Thing
||What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?
||Comeback Next Week
||Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments.
||So What's the News?
||Tell us what the illustrated events are.
||H H |
||Spit the Difference
||Take any two nouns that appear on the front page of today's Washington Post and explain how the nouns differ from each other.
||H H |
||What is going on in these cartoons?
||Hyphen the Terrible
||Take the first half of any hyphenated word from any story in today's newspaper and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and propose a definition of the new word you've created.
||These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]