PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BRUCE NIEDT

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1296 A, we're Adorbs: New-word poems Use one or more of these words new to M-W.com in a humorous poem of eight lines max. H
1265 Parody for the course Write a song relating to a class or course of instruction, or to school in general. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1213 Punku Write a haiku that incorporates a pun. 2
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H H
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  H
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. I
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. 3
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. 2
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
979 The madding crowd Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]