PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ERIC NELKIN

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1354 As the Word turns 5: Taking our vowels "Discover" a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H
1347 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the provided Loser-concocted words and phrases, and/or show they'd be used. H
1346 AZ if -- balancing acts Think of a new word or two-word phrase that begins and ends -- either way -- with one of the provided "alphabetically balanced" pairs. H
1345 The confaketionary -- food fictoids Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining. H
1342 MRGRS: Mash 2 abbrevs. Combine two acronyms or other abbreviations, whether of entities or expressions, into one big one, and describe it, offer a slogan for the new organization, etc. H
1337 Lidder me this: anagram riddles Write a Q&A joke (or an A followed by a Q, if you're into "Jeopardy!") in which the punchline contains an anagram or one or more relevant words or names. H H
1331 Paste Imperfect Choose a headline or sentence from The Post or another publication, print or online, dated May 9-20, 2019. Then change that headline or other text by:
     A. Deleting up to 40 consecutive characters from it (put brackets around the deleted text);
     B. Adding up to 40 consecutive characters from the same article or ad (write the additions in capital letters);
     or C. Both A and B, as long as the added text goes at the end of your headline or sentence.
2
1330 Spinoff x Time Is Now = Grandfoals Week! "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H H
1326 Foaling around "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1324 Chapter and worse Tell or describe a Bible story, or another classical or folk tale, very briefly (75 words would be lengthy) in the voice of a particular author or other person. H
1322 Back to the drawing board Come up with an idea for an invention that still needs a bug ironed out. H
1319 The Tile Invitational VI Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it. H
1316 Lies, damn lies, with statistics Tell us some bogus trivia using "statistics" or some bogus quantitative meaure. H H
1312 Neologisms in TOUR de Fours XV Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block T-O-U-R and describe it. The letters may be in any order. H
1305 Hits and Googles Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits. H W
1304 All the muse that's fit to print Present a "what if" scenario and explain its effect. H
1303 Neologisms to di- for Replace a digraph in an existing word or phrase with another digraph to make a new term. H
1299 OK, hivemind! A contest with new Scrabble words Choose any two of the words in the provided list as the beginning and end of a humorous word chain of 6 to 14 words or phrases. H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H
1291 Film flam -- movie anagrams Rearrange the letters of a title of a movie or play to make a new title, then describe the new work. H H
1286 Mind your P's and B's (and more) Replace one or more P's in a word, name, or multi-word term with a B or with another letter and define or describe the results. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]