PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR KEL NAGEL

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. 4
1234 It's incontestable Four weeks from now, the Empress will have just placed  her dainty imperial toe back on our glittering shores.  Which means that for the first time since January 2002,  almost 800 contests ago — back during the late reign of  her predecessor, the Czar — the Invitational will skip two  contests in a row. H
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. L
1202 Don't be afraid of the dark Write lyrics to a song that, in some way, express hope. H
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle H
1168 Asterisky business Tell us an original joke whose punchline can't be understood without knowledge -- not necessarily scientific -- that most of us don't have (which you'll supply with a concise explanation). 2
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". H
1132 You and what army? Military fictoids Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs. H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. L
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. H
485 Asterisky Business Write a joke with a punch line depending on knowledge so esoteric that it requires an asterisked explanation. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]