PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ERIC MURPHY

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
879 Say Venn Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram. H
876 Oilies but goodies Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune. H
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. H H
756 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
735 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731. H H H
726 Limerixicon 4 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-. T
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H
721 Know Your Market For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News. 3 H
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. 1
702 Unreal Facts Come up with a comically false factoid. H T
701 Untitlement Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about? H M
685 Thank it Over Tell us some things to be thankful for. 1
675 Cut Us Some Slack Come up with humorous ways to be lazy. H
674 Limerixicon 3 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-. T
669 Huddled Messes Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal). H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
659 Tell Us a Fib Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme. H
648 Caller IDiot Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person. P
637 Full Steam Ahead Write a steamy passage of a novel that's ostensibly by some well-known person who isn't a novelist. 3
635 I've Told You a Hundred Times Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners. 1
634 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H
633 Your Secret Here! Send us some original secrets (they don't have to be true). H
618 Of D.C. I Sing Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune. 3
616 Picture This, Kids Supply title and one-sentence synopsis for Bob Staake new kids' project, incorporating any of the provided cartoons. 2
615 Airy Persiflage Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement. 3
610 MASH Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. H
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
601 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote in response to one of the provided Editor's Query topics. P
597 Eccchsibits Come up with some alternative museums and exhibits for the nation's capital. H
596 Take Her Words for It Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation. 2 H
595 Listing Precariously Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form. 2 H H
594 History Loves Company Name an appropriate corporate sponsor for some historical event or for someone's life story. H
587 The B-List Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings. H
581 Evil Things in Store Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate. H
580 United Nations Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country. H H
576 Well, Excuuuuse Us! Come up with new excuses for any common human shortcoming or imperfection. H H H
571 A Tour de Fours Create and define a word that includes T, H, E, and S in any order. The letters must appear consecutively. L
569 Murphy's Lore Give Eric Murphy advice he deserves on the provided questions. H I
565 Anthem Is as Anthem Does Give us a verse for an alternative U.S. national anthem, set to any well-known tune. H H
563 Take Two Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other. H
559 Your Slogan Here Come up with a clever slogan or sign for a business. H W
557 Oh, for Namesakes! Take two people, real or fictional, who share some element of their names and explain the difference between them. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]